So, the shopping begins...and ends.

I managed to get him the "here for the gang bang" shirt.

And I got him this Star Wars hoodie, which I think he'll really like it...

Finally, I bought him a couple of books from Borders. I think that's good for Valentine's day, well except for all the hot kisses and possibly more bed breaking moves ;)

Truly, I understand if you hate me...I've been babbling about John to no end...oh wait, nevermind. My two or three readers used to be quite versed in all things Derek, so I'm sure you guys will be used to the single minded format! But honestly, nothing else is too exciting on any other front. Work's work, Chelle and T are good...everything is running fairly smoothly. Except for one thing!

Valentine's Day is just two weeks away. John's birthday is two weeks after that. That's a lot of pressure. Especially for a girl who hasn't really celebrated Valentine's Day for a good three years or so...I'm rusty. On top of this pressure is the fact that he's planning on taking me to San Diego for my birthday. I don't have the kind of money I would love to have in order to get him a present of that magnitude. In fact, I've only managed to spend $22 on him.

So far, I've purchased him a t-shirt that says," I'm here for the gang bang," no, I'm not that crazy...it's from the movie Old School...and frankly, it's my favorite line in the movie. For his birthday I found him a pretty fancy (I'm bowing my head down and shutting my eyes to avoid reading the rest of this sentence) light saber, that I'm trying to talk myself into buying for him. Although my cheeks will burn with shame, I know that John will love it--and I know that it'll just get put on display and not be put to "use" or anything. I mean, I won't have to go having a duel with him...I don't think!!

What else can you think of? I want to get him cool stuff without being totally cheesy...I think the forced romance of the evening is kind of weird and we're good in that area. Hmm, I'm kind of at a loss. If all else fails, I'll buy a cheesy pair of crotchless panties or something and draw R2D2 on the front of them...that should do it.

It was unfortunate, but after nearly 72 straight hours together, John decided that it would be better to go home late at night/early am rather than sitting in the crazy rush hour traffic. We stood at my door forehead to forehead with me whining, "But I don't want you to go home. I want you to stay." To which he replied, "M, to be totally honest...all weekend I was thinking how easy it would be to stay with you...for a really long time. I hope that doesn't freak you out, but I'm falling hard for ya babe." And guess what? It didn't freak me out at all...it made me really happy. So here's a little tribute list to my boy of things that have made me fall hard for him:

1. We broke my bed. My $3,000 bed...the most gorgeous, chestnut sleighbed you have ever seen...We cracked a very thick board...At the time I was laughing but now I want to cry. He's coming back tomorrow with wood glue, a few vices and anything else we need to fix it. I'm fairly sure the board was strictly an aesthetic.


2. I <3 the game CatchPhrase...He took me to Target to buy an electronic version of it...and then he took me to get batteries for it...and then he played it with me all day, even at the bar.

3. He wrote down funny things that T and I were saying secretly and then made this little secret "Top Ten List" and then announced them for us later on...amusing us with our idiocy hours later.

4. Again, he goes right up to the jukebox, plays all this punk rock (which I love...) but then doesn't even blink an eye when he puts in Journey. Even better, he sings it with the girls and myself.

5. We were talking about going to see a band play in Atlantic City for my birthday...but the cheap seats sold out, so I said to him, "Let's think of something else cheaper...Heart and Alice in Chains really isn't worth that kind of money." He turned to me and said, "Actually, I was thinking...something a little more expensive. You've never been to the West Coast and I'd really like to take you to San Diego." My jaw drop. I've gotten flowers every now and then, maybe a teddy bear here and there but no one's ever wanted to take me on a full fledged trip!! I'm super excited. Even if it doesn't work out...we're trying to figure out how we can best maximize my personal days and get as many days out there as possible.

6. He sometimes snorts when he laughs...then he gets this really sober face and says, "Sorry I snorted." Like I care.

7. I love the little text messages I get throughout the day from him. For example today's said, "It's only been a little bit, but I'm looking forward to Tuesday...I can't get you out of my mind." He sends me these here and there...nothing creepy, nothing overly cheesy...they're perfect, they tell me how much he appreciates me, or my humor or (heaven forbid he say it...) my body.

8. I love that he calls his sister from the bar, drunk off his ass to tell her that the boy that she's been pining for is not a good match for her (because he was a drunken lothario) and John kept saying, "I just want the best for you because I love you. Do what you need to do, but remember, you're so much better than that!" The next day he talked to both his brother and his sister and both times he hung up he said, "I love you" to them...I've never had any brothers and sisters and my dad was an only child. My mom's family is fairly icy with each other. I like that he's tight with his family.

Oh the reasons go on and on...
Oh and a final thought, we're really ridiculous. On Saturday we took "the plunge" we sat together and changed both of our Myspace profiles over to "In a Relationship". The funny part was when he said, "Ok, now I have to view my profile and see what it looks like."

Ok we're nerds...now you know.

I took the day off today, I was supposed to make it to a bunch of a appointments and all of that, but at the last minute I rescheduled them so that I actually had a true day off (well I made it to two, that just had to be taken care of). Ahhh....it feels heavenly.

John was supposed to take the day off too, but since he stayed over on Sunday and didn't make it in to work on Monday (detours in the city, still hungover...) he had to go in today. So I decided to go down to him since he's always coming out to the Cornfield these days. Well I impressed myself with my ability to get to my destination without getting lost, frustrated or crying and I even got a prime (parallel parked, no less) parking spot three houses up from his. I triumphantly knocked on his door, knowing that he was expecting me to call with a whiny voice asking him to come help me park (hey, I'm sorry...the town I grew up in (5 mins away from the Cornfield) didn't even have sidewalks!!!). He opened the door, smiled slowly and said, "I'm impressed. You'll be a city girl in no time flat" and with that he pulled me in through the door and into his arms, kissing me until I started to lose my balance (ever see that stupid movie Head Over Heels? Well that's me, when I like someone, I truly do get weak in the knees).

I looked over at his tv, and saw that he was playing Monopoly Party on xbox so I challenged him to a game...but not before we started kissing on the couch...I took him just so far, gave him a wink and then said, "Ok, let's play!" I thought that it would give me an unfair advantage since he looked ready for anything but...Monopoly. How wrong I was...

As we played he kept rubbing my knee, or put his hand on the small of my back and rubbed his thumb in small circles under my shirt. I grabbed a cigarette and lit the wrong side. I would've never noticed if he hadn't pulled it out of my mouth and said something smartass about me and my ability to concentrate. As he started stripping me of property and money, he also started stripping me of clothing...finally he won. And then, so did I...but that was upstairs.

Sweaty, shaky and starved we went back downstairs and started to pick through menus to decide what we could have delivered at that hour. We found a chinese food place that wasn't vegan...I put my foot down, I couldn't do vegan last night...I needed my MSG. Not that vegan chinese isn't good...but it's not as good. Our food arrived and John flicked through his meager tv channels stopping on "Sex in the City" saying, "Yes! I love this show...it's like a how to manual, to figure out you ladies." To which I replied sternly, "Not so much there kid...I really don't know anyone's that strictly a Samantha or a Carrie." But I happily munched on my food while he (the man who was listening to Slayer when I arrived) told me all the storylines that I needed to know about this particular episode. It was actually pretty amusing. After "his show" was over we busted into his roommate's room (who doesn't actually live there) and picked out a movie. I decided upon the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and we curled up on the couch together.

After about 20 minutes of the movie, I could hear John snoring in my ear...which wouldn't be bad at all but I couldn't even hear the movie, so I elbowed him and said, "Let's go to bed" because to be honest, I was falling asleep too. We went upstairs and I started to curl up on "my side" of his bed, Mr. snore-in-my-ear however, had other plans. Those plans proved to be extremely fun, however, at 12:30am we were both wide, wide awake and he had to be up at 7:30 (or so I thought). We laid there laughing at our stupidity and I made him give me a backrub...which turned out to be one of the most painful experiences of my life and gave us both a laugh, we worked on perfecting the "slight pressure move" rather than the "rip my spine out move" that he had been working on. Sometime after 1:30 we fell asleep...I must've gone under before him.

Then this morning I learned that he's a snooze hitter. He didn't have to get up at 7:30...he hit the snooze button until 8:00. We learned something new about each other. I learned he's a snooze hitter, and he learned that I sit straight up, grab my heart and catch my breath everytime an alarm goes off and he sleeps through it. That meant that I had to wake him up, demand whether or not I should hit the snooze button again (please god, no) and then lay back down, in wait of the next alarm. He's lucky that this morning he smoothed my hair down, kissed me deeply and said that I looked like sleeping beauty when I slept...all was forgiven by the alarm snoozes. Until he said, "That is, if Sleeping Beauty sawed logs in her sleep."

So I snore.

It's been a whirlwind weekend. When I came home on Saturday I was dreading the silence of the empty house and I was torn between wanting to go out or to climb into my bed and sleep for 100 hours. Let's just say if John and I continue to keep this pace, I will be ready for bikini season faster than I ever imagined possible!

Going out won out, of course. T came and picked me up and we went on down to the FQB for E's birthday.We're all hanging out having a good time when I look over and see...John. It was a little weird going from being the only two people in the world for 24 hours and super intimate to trying to maintain composure for both of our groups of friends. Particularly for Tony, who's still suffering and whining about my invasion into his inner circle of friends...because if I invade it, I bring T and Chelle with me, and T broke his 'wittle' heart back in the day, I don't think he has a problem with Chelle, and who would?

Anyways, after a weird little struggle not to smother each other, we'd make quick contact and then run away from each other back to our friends (we talked about it later and we were both paranoid that we were going to look too clingy...god we're nerds). I finally sent him a text message from my side of the bar that said, "Hey...wanna go make out in the bathroom?" Seconds later I received one back that said, "Meet ya there."

So we smooched for a little in the bathroom, discussed our fear of smothering and then he said that he was going to be heading to a party and that I could come if I wanted or I could stay at E's birthday party, either way he would make it back to my house later. I decided to just hang with my friends and let him do his thing, because hey, I was going to see him later right?? And at this stage in our newly formed alliance, our life is now chock full of sex and deep conversations...I figured a little light hearted banter could be fun with my girls who keep saying that they're going to be "orphaned".

Well he never made it back to my house. I got lots of drunken text messages where I finally figured out that he was at a party...somewhere...somewhere where he didn't know where he was...but he knew people there...and that he was wrestled to the ground by a girl who was stepping on his windpipe...and that he was drinking a lot of Absinthe for the first time (oh boy).

So the next day at around one I received a text message saying, "Sorry I never made it back...I didn't even know where I was. Is it ok if I come over before I head back to the city? I really wanted to spend more time with you and your friends last night, I really wanted you to come with me to the party." So I told him to come over, he attempted to sit and stay sober so that he could make it home for football with his roommate, but he caved when he saw T drinking enormous glass of Bloody Mary as I did work for work. It was a short trip back to Drunkville for my dear boy. Within two of my "famous" (I've made about three in my life before the gazillion I made yesterday) Bloody Marys, my 6'1" 260 lb boyfriend (he's working on the weight right now, but he's still pretty sexy to me) became a rambling idiot. He sang a fabulous rendition of "Don't Stop Believing" to T and I (remember, we're big fans of the song) running around using a remote as a make shift microphone. After games of Catchphrase and singing tons of songs we decided that the best move for us all to do would be to go to the bar...so we packed up in the vehicle and headed down to the FQB.

Ordering food and beer, John leans over, "What do you think about meeting me in the bathroom?" I gave him a wink, hopped off my barstool and headed into the ladies' room. He quickly followed behind me and locked the door. The look on his face made me realize that I wouldn't just be smooching this time...Within seconds pants were dropped but a few seconds after the fun began, someone knocks on the door. Damn! We quickly pull our pants up, he puts his glasses back on and smoothes my hair back down. Chagrinned, we ducked out of the bathroom, one after the other and avoided making eye contact with the toe tapping, arms folded princess who was obviously put out by our antics.

Now, because we kind of had a teaser both of us were feeling like something needed to be done about this. The solution? Why, the back seat of the car in the parking lot, of course!! Damn, I'm a classy gal, you don't even need to tell me!! Operation Quickie was a success and so I walked back into the bar. I thought we were slick...I sit back on my stool to talk to T (who did know the deal) and I hear, "Hey Melina...you've got a little white spot on your face!" and I knew I didn't so I just made a face at the guy like I was five and said, "I don't even know what you're talking about." There were about three or four other comments from other heckling men, less crass but just making a point of asking me where I went and where John was, etc. (jealous boys...) until John walked back in the door--then the jerks shut up!! So I told him, "Hey we weren't as slick as we thought we were..." and he had a little devious grin on his face and said, "Good, then they know who you're with, and they know that we like each other!" and then he leaned over and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

Many shots later, beer upon beer for those two and a belly full of pulled pork for me, we headed for home. T was trashed and John was pretty drunk as well...I was fine because I knew that I had to get up at 6:20 this morning. However, I didn't realize that although I got everyone home by 12, that I wouldn't get to go to sleep until 2, damn boy kept me up forever! My ass is dragging today, but I use thoughts of last night to keep me going.

Yes, it's me, we made it official last night, I think it was the pigtails that did it (he sure does have a fetish for them...and I was happy to oblige since I look darn cute in pigtails). I met him in the city at around 5:30,and he helped this country girl parallel park her car (which was a little tough since he was also kissing me at the same time). Then I got the tour of his house, which is really cute. We sat down at the table and drank some Jameson (his favorite, that I brought down to surprise him...he also bought me a bottle to surprise me...we are apparently drunks) and just made each other laugh and blush for a couple of hours. Because I didn't eat anything all day yesterday it was terribly hilarious (for him I mean, my knees are totally black and blue) when I tripped over the step in the kitchen to go to the bathroom and I went sliding over the tile floor...it's a good thing he likes me but I'm a clutz! I switched to soda for a while after that.

Somehow I lost my pants in the kitchen (well I didn't lose them, they were taken from me) and then equally mysteriously I ended up on the counter top-and my pigtails went from cute, to sex hair in 3.2 seconds. This phenomenon of the "losing the pants in the kitchen" seemed to be an M.O for my "boyfriend" (ha ha, I just wanted to be able to use that in a sentence) because numerous times this occured over the Friday/Saturday stay...but hey, no one's complaining.

After that fun (and much pigtail fixing) we went out in search of some of the city's finest food. And by this, I mean cheese steaks. But we didn't stop there, after we went home and continued what we had started earlier we were both soo starved that we went out again and ordered a whole smorgasbord of food. I think I ate more food last night than I ever have in my entire life, but I feel lucky now that I "carb loaded"! Today, true to his word...we spent the entire day in his bed, getting up only once to grab our leftovers (which we also ate in bed). 24 hours after I got there, I struggled to leave the warm bed, and the even warmer man. Sadly, I retrieved my clothes and he walked me to my car...but he was reluctant to see me go too, so he got into the car and said that he would lead me back to the main road and then he would get out and walk back home. My smile lingered on my face as I watched him walk away in the rearview mirror, turning onto the bypass on the road leading back to the Cornfield. Home. But it didn't feel as home-like when I entered it and faced silence. Well, there's only a few more days until Wednesday right?

Emails from John:

"Hey, Heart and Alice in Chains are playing on your birthday [actual date inserted] at the Taj Mahal...would be a sweet birthday event, no?" (Awesome future boyfriend factor: remembering that I love both bands...I'm sorry I love "Magic Man", "Barracuda" and a couple other older Heart songs, sue me, I'm a cheese and that's some damn good guitar there...and I <3>only answer, I don't know what we were thinking..."

He replies, "I don't think we can think straight right at the moment, it's the preoccupation with each other..."

Awesome future boyfriend factor: Awww. That's all I can say, awww.

Last night I had friends over for dinner and just to hang out. It's something that the girls and I do each month just so that we stay anchored in our friendships. It's great because so much happens in a month that you just don't know everything that's going on. Basically, it's chaotic talking with mouthfuls of food. Bet you didn't know I could cook, did ya??

So after the flurry of estrogen left and I cleaned up I sent John a text. "Party's over, how is your night going?" And he sent one back, "I'm bored, I want it to be Friday. I want to be with you" and that made me smile, but not as much as when my phone rang and it was him.

For two hours we talked...amazing, since I never, ever use the phone (and I don't think he does either). We made a crazy amount of plans...another thing I don't often do. Cheesesteaks for dinner on Friday and everything else that's possibly bad for us. He's on a super restrictive diet and he has this weird dieting idea that once every few weeks he needs to "calorie load" or as he explained to me, "throw logs on the fire" to make your metabolism work at it's prime. Whatever. As long as I get to eat...and it's not just beans, I'm happy. We planned lots and lots and lots of sex, (most of that was my doing but he seemed amenable to the situation). He told me I could take full advantage of him for the weekend, and I plan on it! He decided to take off next Thursday with me since I have to go to the doctor's in the middle of the day, so we're going to "Yuengs and Wings" on Weds night at thitwbar since neither of us are going to work...and then he can just hang out with the dogs while I go to the doctor.

I learned a lot about him. He's been drawn in the past to some very different girls than me. Girls who seem vindictive and incredibly manipulative. I can honestly say that beyond batting my eyes and/or promising sex if someone moved a heavy piece of furniture in my house, I've never been manipulative. John's not going to know what to do with himself...

On a scale of 1-10 of liking him...I'm at a steady 14.3...C'mon Friday, get here already!!!

So E's birthday is this weekend...although his relentless pursuit was a little crazy, I think he's finally starting to settle down and go back to being my friend. This being said, I've been trying to be really quiet about hanging out with John, only because I had no reason not to like E...I just liked John more. This has proven to be tough because I'm becoming "that girl" who talks incessantly about some guy, but I think it's because I only get to see him on the weekends and because it's all new...and well, because he's totally awesome...like the awesomest! The only thing I'd change about him is the fact that he's a seasonal vegetarian. Not that I have a problem with that, I just get anxious when I eat around him, because well...I eat everything bloody.

Anyways, back to the story. We were all sitting at thitwbar (my friends ran an intervention after 6 hours of cooking and cleaning) when E leaned over and asked each one of us what we were doing on Friday since it was his birthday. T said she was working, Chelle said that she was going to be in Atlantic City and I simply said, "I'll be in the city." But E didn't leave it at that...he asked, "Who you going into the city with." So I decided to be evasive, "No one." because it was true, I wasn't going with anyone, I was meeting John down there at his house.
"So you're just going into the city by yourself on my birthday?"
(Gulp, be a big girl)
"I'm going to the city to hang out with John."
E looked shocked, I'm guessing he thought John was going to be one of my famous "hi how are you wanna have sex and then get out of my life kind of guys" and he quickly turned to Tony (John's friend and bandmate), "Did you hear that? M's going to hang out with John this weekend!" To which I raised my eyebrows because E hasn't even ever met John. Tony also looked shocked, nearly as shocked as when he saw us together on Friday. "Oh yeah M? You and Johnny gonna sex it up all weekend? You two gonna get sexy? Good luck, his place smells like whiskey and women." (hmm, how about that last dig? I know for a fact that John hasn't been bringing home the women...he was on a woman ban, after his last girlfriend decided to be a stalker, and I'm not even taking his word for it, I have a very reliable source on this. This same reliable source agrees that yes,however, it does smell like whiskey).

Can't wait for Friday! And he promised that on Saturday morning we could lay in bed all day...

So I forgot that I'm having 10 of my friends over my house...tomorrow!! As soon as I got out of work I ran straight to the grocery store, bought $50 worth of stuff that I'll never use or need except for this one meal...this artichoke hearts. Keep in mind this is the girl that lives on Lean Cuisines...but I can actually cook. As I'm in the check out line I get a text, "Whatcha doin'? Cleaning? " John trying to be funny because my house is a disaster, but he doesn't know that the girls are coming over tomorrow...so not funny!!! But I smile anyway. I could answer right away and I got another one, "What not funny?" and so I set my bag down and typed, "I'm in panic mode, I'm having a dinner party tomorrow...I have to clean, I have to cook, I have to do everything!!!" His reply? "What can I do to help? I can't cook, but I'll clean and provide stress relief" And at first I was going to let him come up, but I didn't want to make him give up his gym routine, rush out of work and then sit in traffic for an hour all to help me cook and clean. I really wanted the "stress relief" though...really, really.

So he checked in on my progress a little later,"How's your progress going Pretty One." We chit chatted back and forth and then finally he said, "When can I tackle you again?? I'm cleaning my place so that you can come down this weekend. We can go out, we can stay in, we can go out and then have a long, lazy morning in bed. It's up to you." Well to be honest, I wanted to hop into my car and run down to his house right now, but instead I said to him, "Now I really can't wait for this weekend!!"

He's got me...hook, line and sinker. Now if I can get him to say, "Good night sweet girl," I think I'd faint. Victoria's Secret? Is that you calling my name? I thought so...

There appears to be no catch...he's not suddenly leaving the country, he hasn't died of dysentery on the Oregon Trail and he hasn't decided over the phone *cough, cough* to just be my friend. It appears that he really, and truly likes me...without the help of alcohol or sex (thank you very much). So now instead of the mantra, "John don't fuck this up..." it has quickly turned into, "Melina don't fuck this up!"

It's tough in those beginning days...that see-saw of behavior. You want to show him that you think he rocks, but you don't want to look too clingy...

I wait for his emails. I get one, I'm elated...and then I have to wait to write him back. The minutes thunder in my ears as I wait. I spent my day at work, half working and half thinking, "What's he doing?" "What are we going to do the next time we hang out?" "Does he regret some of the things he said to me? He was pretty damn open about it." "Should I have gushed more about how I felt?" "Does he understand why I didn't gush?" "How much was real, and how much was to get in my pants..." (because although I think he's mostly sincere...I'm sure there was a little flattery to loosen the jeans). These are just some of the feverishly buzzing thoughts (read: nonsensical craziness) that are bouncing around my head, but I have a facade of sheer calm. I could become a pro at this, but I would prefer that we just said everything on our minds...but that too, could be scary.

So the plan last night was for John and I to meet up in Manayunk with his friends and mine. Chelle and I had just pulled in the parking lot of the first bar in our tour before Manayunk and I look at my cell phone, a text from John. I read it and my heart sank a little, "Sorry hon, doesn't look like I can rally the gang for Manayunk." So I wrote back, "Then why don't you come up here and meet me at K's (a bar located half the distance of both of our houses)..." and I expected some half assed excuse but instead I got a message back that said, "Ok, but you'll have to tell me how to get there." And so I did, and I did it with a big grin on my face, because now here was a man who was going out of his way to hang out with me. Finally. This new motto of "The only thing a girl should chase is a shot" seems to be working. Although, to be honest, I don't even chase my shots...I'm just that hardcore y'all ;)

While I was waiting for him to arrive I hung out with about 19 of my friends (I think I neglected to reveal that fact to him), they were all excited about getting to meet him but I had to caution everyone to be low key about it...since this was really only the third time we had hung out together. It was cool though, once he got there he just settled into a seat next to me and my friends kind of just rotated across from us, each getting to see him and evaluate him. The man even had to show us his sleeve in progress of tattoos...all Star Wars tattoos (yeah, yeah...at least it's not Star Trek, now that would be worse) and allowed us to coo over the Death Star, Leia and a bunch of other things and people from the movies. But he took everything in stride.

It came time to decide whether or not we wanted to continue on with the group to Manayunk (which he didn't want to do, and I wasn't too keen on it either), go back into the city closer to his house with bars that are more both of our style, or to come back to thitwbar in the Cornfield. He picked to go to thitwbar. At first, I thought maybe he would call his friends that still live in town to meet us out at the bar and when I mentioned it, he cocked his head to the side and asked, "Why would I do that? I'm here to hang out with you" and gave my hand a quick squeeze. At around 12, T and her date showed up at the bar and we all started doing shots and then in walks Tony...John's good friend and bandmate and T's lost love.
"What are you doing here John? Shouldn't you be in the city, City Boy? And why didn't you call me and tell me you were coming up?" Then he looked over at me and made a face, and John said, "Yeah...I came to hang out with Melina." Well Tony put up a fuss for a while, but then he let us be. But I'm sure that he called John this morning to find out what was going on since John obviously didn't tell Tony that he's been talking to me for a couple of weeks now. During the time that we got to spend together I learned a few things from John and I will list them here:
1. He's been "taken" with me since the night he came back to pick me up from the party.
2. When I look at him, my eyes just "get him going" and he can't concentrate.
3. He's got a thing for pigtails...and so he asked me to put my hair into pig tails at the bar after Tara returned a hair tie that she borrowed the other day (I'm anal about my hair ties...don't ask). I sense in the future I will be wearing a school girl's outfit with my sexy pornstar librarian glasses.
4. He likes my brain, and I'm one of only a few girls that he knows that has an actual career (who are these dead beat girls and where can I sign up for that gravy train??).
5. He quotes me...he quotes things I've said to him. (Right now it's endearing...in the future it could annoying and dangerous, but for now I'm flattered)
6. He really likes my ass...but that didn't come out until we were a little tipsy.

After the bar closed, T, her date and John and I went back to my house to the basement bar. We played some CatchPhrase and drank more beer and just really laughed our asses off with our stupid clues for the game. I went upstairs to the bathroom humming, a little drunk and insanely happy. When I came out, John was standing there waiting for me. He cupped my face and said, "How about we have that first kiss now?"

And if you know me...it didn't stop there. But I don't regret it. Whoops! That last post said I wouldn't get drunk and have sex with him...now you know why I don't make New Years resolutions? Well at least I wasn't ridiculously drunk and it was pretty worth it when I opened my eyes this morning, wrapped in his arms and hearing him say, "I could probably stay right here forever."

Well, we'll see...now won't we.

John sends me a text message, "Do you still wanna hang out with me?" Now in my head I'm thinking, "No, I just reply to your 297 daily text messages/emails because I pity you. Good lord of course I want to hang out with you!!!" But my fingers nimbly type, "Of course I do. What do you have planned for me?"

And so here's the plan. Apparently he's a little nervous, so...my friends are all going to be there and his friends are all going to be there and we're all going to hang out together. It's not exactly what I had hoped for but I couldn't say no, especially when he typed (I assume a bit doggedly), "You're intimidatingly cute, I need backup" and then he absolutely melted my jaded heart when he said, "Any way I can, I wanna see you, dude." (he had me at dude...honestly, that's how he talks...he's my Pennsylvanian surfer...ladies don't hate)

A couple hours later, after carousing with his roommate and killing off more Jameson than I'm sure is healthy I started getting texts again. And this is where it gets funny. He sends me a text of gibberish. I respond with, "I believe you're supposed to be my entertainment, I am in a bar and this is not the proper location for me to be code breaking." He replies with, "Oh yeah? What bar? What are you wearing?" I roll my eyes, I blush and then I look down...um yeah, Thursday night at thitwbar doesn't quite inspire me to wear the clothes of daydreams or other masterbatory fantasies. But I tell the truth, "I'm at thitwbar (remember, he's a former local so he knows the haunt well...in fact his sister was sitting a few seats down from me. I almost felt bad for having minor league text sex with her so near...), and I'm wearing to be honest, a tight long sleeve grey t shirt. Um, nothing that cute or anything." And the sweet, sweet man replies, "I think you're cute even in a grey tshirt." Move over Jerry Maguire...that might be the new romantic catch phrase...seriously I heard Bruce's Secret Garden playing somewhere--ok, it was in my head but seriously. My stomach is still flip flopping when I read that text. But nothing compare to our parting email where he replied to something I said about my old flannel pjs and how the ass ripped out of them (remember, I was more than a little buzzed but less than drunk and I tend to ramble) and he says to me, "Now that's hot...Stay rad, I'm going to bed dude."

I'm totally crushing on a man who talks like Ted Logan (Keanu Reeves in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure), and I don't even care...because...well I don't. Fingers crossed for me! I'm trying to do this one right. So there probably won't be a sex post, nor should there be an "I got wasted and made a fool of myself" post. (notice the probably won't in the sentence...I can't totally make any promises...but I'll try).

First of all, I'm a nerd. That being said, I'm a very good looking nerd. The reason I say this is because after a fun evening of searching for the perfect (no, not purrfect--because that's ridiculous to both say and type) cat with Chelle, I came home and turned on C-Span. Yes, C-Span, that ever so exciting channel. But hey, I'm a woman and a voter and I think I need to see the hearings going on with Judge Alito. My cell phone alerts me to the fact that I have a text message (which by the way, it has a little special ring tone, "Straight to Hell" by the Clash if you must know...I knew you needed to know that).

I look at the message and I see that John is a nerd too, and is also watching C-Span. WTF? A match made in heaven or in pocket protector land?? Anyways, for the next hour my thumbs furiously typed messages in response to his...why no phone calls?? I hate the phone and so does he! However, after an hour of them and realizing that I've probably burned through my monthly allotment of 1,000 I was really wishing that he just had AIM and that we could continue our cranial courtship online. After message 996, I realized that although he was going to flirt with me, he was not going to be asking me out. I felt the need to take matters in my own hands.

It's not that hard of a thing to do when you're fairly sure that the person is interested in you so I wrote (ok, pressed my thumbs into the keypads), "So are you going to save me from the snobs of Manayunk this Friday night? I'm going to be there for a happy hour." (For those of you who do not know the Pennsylvania towns so well...Manayunk is the young, hip and ever trendy sister of Philadelphia...rest assured, everyone is younger, hipper and trendier than you...even if you're Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff all rolled into one. People there are that cool. As you might've noticed, I tend not to like the area that much...but it can be fun at times--especially if you go down with the right group of people.

So in typical John fashion (because I've known him now less than a month), he first needs to address the snob comment, before addressing the rest of the question. Then, he types back, "Why don't you just skip the snobbery and come straight to the city and hang out with me?" My heart leapt, "Finally I thought, after only 1,293 texts he finally did it..." And so I replied, "I might be able to do that, I have to warn you I know Philly about as well as I know Tokyo." (bless his little heart if he had sent a message asking me when I went to Tokyo, I would've driven down to his house and strangled him). Then a puzzling text came, "Well maybe I can save you from your happy hour if you need me, I'll be around all Friday. Just call if you need me."

Huh? No..nope...not so fast Buster. You must've misinterpreted me text as reluctance, or you're a dunce...I quickly thought, then typed faster than the speed of light, "No John, you will be my source of entertainment and amusement. Find something fun for me to do on Friday, I'm counting on you. Good night, I'm going to bed to read my book."

The reply, "Ok."

Two minutes later, "What book are you reading?"

And so we wait to see what my "amusement and entertainment source" comes up with. I can find no fault in the fact that he seems to take direction well...and well, the fact that he's interested in what I'm reading doesn't hurt either...because I'm a nerd. A sexy little nerd. Oh, and my face was beet red when I was sending him the title, The Secret Fruit of Peter Paddington while I'm sure he was snuggling down with a copy of Ulysses or maybe a copy of Hustler...he has that smart/but still a 6'1" I can-kick-your-ass-this-way-til-Sunday look about him. And I find both features hot. Until Friday I'm saying a litany in my head, "Please don't fuck this up John...please don't fuck this up..." Say it with me people.

John had the day off yesterday since he went into the office on Saturday, knowing that he had band practice on Monday night...which tends to be a long night (ah the juggling act of being in the professional sector and being in a punk band). Since he had off he figured he go to Taco Tuesday for lunch and just hang out and see what happens...Knowing that I couldn't make it down he said, "It's a shame you won't be at Taco Tuesday."


So then I typed furiously with my little thumbs, "Taco Tuesday just isn't going to be the same without me. You're going to say that the tacos were good and that you had fun with your other friends, but deep down you'll know...they're not the same. Sorry I've ruined Taco Tuesday for you...it's a curse and a gift that I have."


A few hours later I received a simple message, "You're right, it wouldn't be the same at all...so I didn't even bother to go."

So what if he had other plans...or something else kept him from T.T...I liked his excuse--it made me smile, probably too much. *Sigh* This is going to be a long drawn out affair, he hasn't dated or attempted to hang out with the ladies since his heart was broken last year and because of this he is going to take everything r e a l l y s l o w...which might be good for me for a change. Caution just might be both of our friends.


I receive

So as I play my little 3rd grade school yard game with John I forward the messages to my dear friend Chelle, who claims, that after watching hours of Dr. Phil, and putting in hours of lunches with males that she has a secret decoder ring to the male brain. I sent her my recent text messages to and from John and this is what she sent me back:
(Chelle's cracked code or translation from maleanese is in green)

message from John: Why the shitty mood? (OH GOD SHE HATES ME...THIS MAKES ME SAD SO I HOPE IT IS SOMETHING ELSE THAT HAS UPSET HER)
my response 1: (in my head: because you're annoying) real response: Don't know, yesterday was rough with parents/students etc...It's one of those days where you feel like you're giving everything and no one else is compromising. (NO I DON'T HATE YOU, BUT YOU ARE ADDING TO MY SHITTY DAY...THANKS CAN'T YOU JUST BE COOL AND STOP WITH THE GAMES!!!!)

John's message 2: Things are never 50-50 hun, usually they're 80-20...just make sure you're the one giving the 20% sometimes. Besides it can't be that bad...I think you're awesome! (HE LOVES YOU...AND WILL MAKE UP THE EXTRA 20% WHEN YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY)

My response 2: Thanks you're not half bad yourself ;) just one of those days Iguess. Im not one to get real down but I felt things were out of my control. Anyways, how'd your weekend turn out? (I LOVE YOU TOO...AND WILL ALWAYS GIVE YOU 80%)

John's message 3: No complaints, worked saturday then spent most of the rest with my hobbled roommate. (REASON WHY I COULD NOT HANG - I WAS BEING A GOOD FRIEND....SEE I AM A GOOD LOYAL GUY)
My response3: You had to work?I'm sure your roommate was glad to have your company. (YES YES YOU ARE A GOOD GUY AND I FORGIVE YOU FOR MAKING ME WAIT)

John's message 4: I'm off today...Band practice last night, going to taco tuesday for lunch. (HINT: REMEMBER THE MAGIC WE MADE OVER TACOS!!!)
My response 4: Enjoy! (YES YES I REMEMBER AND I LOVE YOU TOO)

Ha ha, this was fun...it totally reminded me of an old SNL skit with Joe Nameth in it...

So now it's your turn:
You interpret them...

So no word from John...

Sucks.

Want to email him, but I'm resisting.

The name of the game is waiting.

Bleh, I hate waiting...and I hate games...and I hate all of this.

I got called out on my little myspace blog. I was stupid and I was waiting for John to ask me out again, so I put a little blog up that said, "I'm waiting. Hurry up already." It wasn't addressed to him or anything but I took it down after an hour because I realized how childish it was, but apparently it was too late.

So I got a text message from John a little be later that night, it started out cute but then the last line said, "So you're not a fan of waiting, huh?" and I responded, "Not so much. I think it's a consequence of being an only child. But I suppose I can learn." And he sent one back that said, "Waiting isn't always such a bad thing you know." My reply, " True enough." What I really wanted to say was, "What the hell are we talking about here???" I must say it was one instance where I wished that the two of us liked talking on the phone rather than text messaging.

Now I'm pretending that I'm good at waiting, when in fact, I just want more time to get to know him and I think it's damn ridiculous. I consulted my mom and she thinks he's lost his interest, as she said, "What guy makes a girl wait to hang out with him if he's interested? So I guess I'll be waiting a long time, real long. Sucks.

Next post: The three hour conversation with E about how I don't want to be with him. I even cited the fact that I was interested in getting to know John better, if that folds, I'm fucked.

So T says,"It's kind of like that movie...

"What movie I ask?"
"You know" she says, "The Lion, the Pen and the Candle"
"Err no, I've never heard of that movie" I say as I bust into laughter, leaving T to figure out what she said wrong.

He sent me a text at 9 am this morning, "Mmm bananas" because he was eating breakfast and he was thinking of me...because I hate bananas.

I think ladies and gents, I moved out of friend mode.

We are the awesomest, I will not lie.
The other night at the bar, we got everyone to sing along with us to "Don't Stop Believing" by none other than the band known as Journey. Arms were pumping in the air, punctuating the lines as Steve Perry wailed. I wailed, the fat guy at the end of the bar wailed, even the town drunk picked his head off the bar and let out a, "Whooo oooh oooh oooooooo" at the right time.

An older woman walked up after the song started fading out. Ruining the afterglow of the moment she put her hand on my shoulder, "Don't you just love Steve Perry's tight jeans? I'd love them next to my bed."

*in silence I stared at her, unable to come up with an acceptable response and suffering from an involuntary flashback of me watching VH1 with my dad at the age of 7 and asking him what Mr. Perry had stuffed in his pants, that was making his "pants look funny"*

She continued. "Have you ever seen them in concert?" and not waiting for an answer began to regale me with the times that she's seen Journey and which one was the best show, which had the tightest jeans etc.

So besides that, it sure was fun to sing a cheesy 80's song with an entire bar. I'm going to continue to try to find songs that touch several generations to spark yet another sing along.

The nice thing about a new year is that you have a clean slate. The bad thing about a new year is that everyone becomes so damn introspective and you realize all the stupid things you did to sabotage your happiness. This is basically what Chelle and I were discussing the other night. She has recently been a convert of Dr. Phil's...now this is a tough pill to swallow, Dr. Phil is annoying. Dr. Phil has a horrible draw, his head is by far too large for this planet and half the time his statements sound more like Ned Flanders than advice. But that aside, he's teaching my friend stuff about relationships and "how to get what you want"...she's thinking about getting wrist bands that say "What would Dr. Phil do?" to remind her not to go home with people, or make out with people that she's not attracted to. If it works, more power to her.

Instead of subscribing to her guru, Dr. Phil...I'm taking the approach of Seinfield and the episode where George does everything opposite and gets everything he wants. I clearly hear the one line in my head, "I'm bald...I live with my parents, and I don't care who knows it!" Ok, so I'm not bald and I don't live with my parents so that's a good start...my point is...I reread all the stupid things I subjected poor (loveable, sweet sweet) Derek to, and well, first I laughed...because damn, I am one funny lady and then I made myself a list of things not to in the pursuit of a man. To you my faithful readers I submit my list:

1. Pursue (as in hunt) the man as if he is exotic game. easy enough
2. Write love letters of any kind while intoxicated...whether these love notes are on coasters or not really has no bearing.
3. Get so intoxicated that you can hardly form words because you get nervous around him and because you want him to drive you home later. The problem here is, you can't take advantage of him when you're being helped to your door because gravity is working against you.
4. Invite a man home for some hot lovin' and then proceed to pass out on the floor while you wait for him to close the bar.
5. Invite him again and do the same thing, again.
6. Tell him that he "should just love me already, everyone else does."
7. Sleep with another man for many many months whilst waiting for my "true love" to figure out that he loves me.
8. Create a blog about this man
9. Obsess, obsess, obsess...and then do it again.
10. and I'm sure there are a million other things too that I'm just blocking out right now...and I don't feel like making a hundred point list!

So now, there may be an opportunity with this new guy. He seems nice, he has roots in the Cornfield but he lives elsewhere. He has a real job-where he has to wear "real" clothes to, but then I also love the duality that he's in a punk band and he's covered in tattoos (that obviously can be all covered when necessary). He went to college, he loves his family, he accepts his sister (who as he puts it, "switched teams this year")...these are all good things.

If the opportunity presents itself, I will not screw this one up. Here are a few things that I plan to do to prevent this:
1. Not drink until oblivion in his presence for a while...somehow when drunk I become very focused on getting laid. While this is a charming quality (ha ha), I plan on hiding it for a little.
2. I'm not going to obsess or pursue with the focus of an exotic game hunter. This one's going to be tough, when I see something I want, I typically go get it.

Those two should probably help me out. But never fear, I'm going to be myself...just maybe not the overly dramatic version of me.

That being said, I wish Myspace wasn't blocked from my work...because I want to check what message he sent me today!

Three emails from him today, not over-eager messages...funny ones, ones that made me notice that he paid attention to what I was saying last night.
Went over to his myspace page (because I'm ridiculous) and noticed that he changed his headline to something that I said last night.

Sent him a message saying where I was going tonight...saw that he read it...hoping he shows up!

Well "Taco Night" was a success. For one, it was great to get out of my little hometown and into the city. T and I braved traffic and made it down there by 6:30. We were a little anxious, as we looked slightly out of place...hmmm, let me see, everyone has black glasses, punk rock outfits or glam rocker outfits on. Pink long sleeve thermal shirt with red stars on it for me? Check. Pink pea coat? Check...look over at T and she's looking equally "cute". Cute doesn't look like it really cuts it with this crowd. But hey, I'm me and she's she...and so we mingled just fine...I still had the urge to rip my shirt off and say, "Look I'm as tattooed up as you are...I just don't have a full sleeve of them!!" But I didn't. I remained cool, and remained myself.

We bellied up to the bar and miraculously, in a completely packed bar, there are two bar stools waiting for us. But these stools were no ordinary stools (oh no!), they were gold glittery vinyl with thick brass studs on it's borders...these stools were like the cadillac of bar stools...the most comfortable thing I've ever had the luck to sit upon. I wanted to steal one and even tried to think of some plausible way, but they were far too plush to put under my shirt!

John showed up and at first it was a little awkward, nervous and tense but within minutes the conversations just flowed, stopping only to take a sip of beer or to munch on a taco. There were only a few awkward moments like when he said, "Hey! You went to a Farm School, what's it like to milk a cow?" and me being a little tipsy stating, "The same as milking..." well you know what I said, and then I realized what came out of my mouth, I turned red and drank more beer. But the cool thing was, he had an equally odd statement that he said, "There, we're even." And we were. I have to say though, I seriously hate drinking at bars that have mirrors behind the bar. I realized that my new shirt made my chest look about twice the size. Some ladies would be happy to hear that and would be jumping through hoops to find out where I got my shirt but I have to say, I thought it looked kind of ridiculous and I was thanking the fact that I was wearing a crew neck and not a V neck because it would've been really, really bad.

T and I decided to leave around nine because we didn't want to be drinking and driving so it was kind of an abrupt end. We walked out into the rain and I started to cross the street, unsure if he wanted to hug me goodbye, and I turned back and hugged him. He said, "I was wondering where you were running off to..." and I giggled replying, "I wasn't sure if you wanted to..." and he said, "Hug? I'd hug you on the first..." and then never said date. Damn! I kind of wanted to know if I was on a date, or if I was just hanging out with a new friend...arrrrggh.


So now the dilemma...after discussing hanging out at his beach (trailer) this summer (he's a surfer, I'm a diver), discussing sharing a three-way...birthday party with him and T (ha ha gotcha didn't I?), and discussing everything else under the sun...I'm left with the question, "Have we become friends?" or will he be calling me to hang out 'fo' reals'?
*Sigh*
It's always a whole lot easier when we just sleep together for me to know where I stand in all of this, and most of all...I have no idea where I stand in this. I think he's a cool guy, not someone I would ever picture that I would be interested in but when I'm talking to him, I like everything I learn about him.

My favorite thing? He hates using the phone and lives by text messages! That's my kind of man.

Keep your fingers crossed for me guys. Tomorrow I'm travelling to the mean streets of Philadelphia to have tacos with a guy I met a couple of weeks ago. And no...there was no sexual innuedo there, we're actually going for tacos. I'm really excited, I've always wanted to go to to Tattooed Mom's for Taco Tuesday and now I am.

So anyways, we met a couple of weeks ago when T, Chelle and I were out. We ended up going to this house party at Hot Ronnie's and then we got split up somehow and Chelle and I had been left behind. It was this guy, John, who was cool enough to come back and pick our drunk asses up. I think I wrote about it already, but anyways, long story short...we hung out until 10:30 am and John has been sending me random texts here and there for the past couple of weeks.

On New Years Eve, we exchanged about five or six texts all day and then he sent one at midnight. Last night, the girls, Ry, and a couple of other friends were over down at the basement bar when I started getting texts around 10:30pm asking what I was doing today. Sadly, I was one of the few people who had to work so I told him that I wasn't available but then I had this great idea...I consulted with T and then sent him a text saying, "T and I are going to Tattooed Mom's for Taco Tuesday, you wanna go?" Within seconds I got a message back saying "Totally! I'm all yours after 6pm!" I sent him a very cool and suave message of, "Cool," gotta keep it low key, even though I'm pretty excited to hang out with him. While I was thinking this and about to verbalize it to T,another message made my phone light up, "So...which one of you will be wearing the pigtails?" With a smile on my lips I typed quickly, "I guess you'll know when you see us, huh?" And as I was trudging up to my bed (knowing that getting up for work was going to be hell as it was, I didn't need to add a hangover to the pain) pouting, while my friends were still hanging out at my basement bar, I received one final message.

"I can't wait to hang out with you."

So we'll see. He seems playful, lighthearted and not trying hard at all. Things are flowing smoothly and with my "Wing woman" (possibly women...Chelle might come too) I think it's going to be more of a hanging out vibe, rather than a "first date"...which is awesome, because I don't know if you noticed, but I have a tendency to turn and run when I suspect that someone likes me. Hmm, I wonder if anyone's coaching him on how to deal with me?? Interesting thought.