This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Sunday, August 14, 2011
Shopping used to be awesome *
I went shopping.

That might not sound all that monumental but for the past three years I have either been pregnant or not pregnant for very long...this leaves the body looking less awesome than one would desire (unless you are carrying Seal's babies...seriously, what's wrong with Heidi Klum? She's not human! How does a person have four babies and look like that?!?) and it made me not want to shop for anything. Anyways, rather than whine about the state of my body, I spent five-six days a week at the gym for at least an hour for the entire summer. And I still hate my body...but I hate it less and that's what matters--I guess.

I blame my absence from the mall for my mistake of entering American Eagle. Immediately as I strolled in (literally, with my giant double stroller, I wanted to turn around and run away) I realized that I was too old for most of the clothes. But, before I could turn the barge around and get me and the boys safely out of the store, a boy/employee walks up and asks me (slowly, so that I could follow him), "Do you have a smart phone?" When I admitted that yes, I did, he asked, "Do you have Facebook?" (am I Amish?) Again, another yes. "Do you know how to like something on Facebook?" I told him that I did indeed know how to navigate the curious landscape of the easiest social network in the world and he said, "Great! If you like AE on your phone and show the girls at the front you'll get 20% off!"

Typically, this would've just been good news and I would be praising the guy for doing a great job but it was when I heard him just say to a girl after me, "Just like AE on Facebook and you'll get 20% off!" I realized he was WALKING ME THROUGH THE STEPS AS IF I WERE ELDERLY. I banged my stroller from clothing rack to clothing rack attempting to turn the damn thing around, and go somewhere...anywhere, perhaps the nursing home.

* When I first typed the title I accidentally wrote, "Shooping used to be fun" and I cracked myself up for about 2 mins.

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posted by Melina at 11:41 AM