This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Monday, July 31, 2006
I promise... post pictures. write a tandem post about Vegas with my husband...ha ha, it's just sooo fun to say. Say it with me, "My husband John and I..." I've been trying to work in sentences like this all day. I imagine that the guy at the post office could've cared less that my "husband John and I need stamps..." especially since John wasn't even there.

But right now, my husband John is being a trooper and trying to help me clear the house out of it's three year contained clutter. The least I can do is mow the lawn for the first time in two weeks, as well as clean the clothes that have been laying on the floor for a little over two months.

More later when I can't take it anymore! :)
Sunday, July 23, 2006
I Do
We leave for Vegas tomorrow morning...

I'll have photos and updates when I return...until then, I think it will be a little silent here, unless I can talk John into taking the laptop with us so that I can blog on my honeymoon...I'm sure that will go over well :)
Friday, July 21, 2006
Bachelorette Party
Tonight's my bachelorette party...

here's the agenda:

Drink poolside while getting a manicure and pedicure (courtesy of Cr's co-workers, Cr's generosity)...the pool courtesy of Tash.

Go to the FQB where many of my friends will be waiting to chow down on the best food on earth, buffet style (is this wedding dress going to fit???) courtesy of Chelle and T.

Drink my little face off locally at both the FQB and thitwbar...(it's cheaper and it's comfortable)

It should be a fun, but semi tame time (which is fine with me...)

Now John's bachelor party is a WHOLE 'nother story...
Updates hopefully tomorrow!
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
I'm in the mood for...lists.
In six days we leave for Vegas...whooo! Because I'm lazy I'm going to list all the things that I'm excited about, and all the things I'm completely annoyed by as of late...

1. Excited about getting married obviously. Since I was about 16 I was very glum about ever finding "true love", I figured I was going to die alone...which is what I told my college roommates after we went to see the free showing of the movie "Waiting to Exhale"...apparently, I missed the point of strong impowered women, happily drinking and celebrating with female friends at the end of the movie. (PS. I'm still very embarassed that a) I liked that movie and b) I ended up sobbing afterwards. (Cool points lost: 5)

2. Excited that not only am I getting married, but I think the boy I'm marrying is made of awesomeness! (which is to say, I love him...lots). (Cool points gained back: maybe 3)

3. Annoyed that people refuse (I mean c'mon!) to send back their damn food selection card...these same people keep telling both John and I that they're coming and yet, they will not send the goddamn card back. I gave you bastards a stamp, use it! (Cool points lost for being a shrew about this: 3)

3. Excited to see Vegas...the lights, the hookers, the name it...I'm fairly awestruck about the city. (Cool points gained back: 2--c'mon, the rat pack was enamoured with the city too!) (Cool points lost because I'm sooo going to be a tourist: TBD--it all depends how much stuff I make John pose next to)

4. Hopefully seeing the Grand Canyon! This has been something I've been wanting to do since I was in third grade and gave an oral report on it! (I'm too cool to keep awarding and taking away points from myself...this game has become tedious...)

5. Getting to spend time alone with John with no distractions aside from loud dinging noises, flashing lights, women wearing sparkly pasties and temperatures upwards of 105. I pretty much have him all to myself.

6. Going to visit my grandmother and aunts as a favor to my mom was a bit on the annoying side of the spectrum...they're not happy that they're not invited out to Vegas (no one is, we're going's romantic) . While there, I received a "lovely" off white (hmm, why not white--my darling aunt? Why?) nightie in a size XL for our "first time" (my relatives are very Catholic, and very old--not that there's anything wrong with just explains why the nightie came to mid calf and had very full bottoms). I'm not a tiny bean pole of a girl and perhaps I'm a little "womanly" in the hips, thigh/ass department (womanly=needs to go back to the gym as soon as this wedding paid off!), but in no dimension of the universe am I an XL. My mom tried to play it off by saying it was because my boobs are big...but in fact dear people, I could've made two full size parachutes for John and I to use when jumping off Stratsophere or something!

The weekend edition--of excited/annoyed

(there are two fours, two fives and two sixes...I don't care...I enjoy annoying you as much as possible...I'm kidding, but I'm still not changing it!)

4. We went to the beach this weekend...the water was wonderfully warm, the sun was shining nearly the whole was beachtastic...feel free to try to make this word a real word. I feel strongly that if blog can become a commonly used word, so too, can beachtastic.

5. I found out the true meaning of "If this van's a rocking, don't come a knocking..." John has a trailer at the beach (it's not as white trash as one would assume, it's actually quite nice). T was sleeping in the one room while we were in the "bedroom"...when John said, "I don't know how we're going to keep this quiet" I thought he was referring to me...I was very proud of how quiet I kept it, but was quickly deflated when T told me twenty minutes later when I met her out at the picnic tables that she thought she was going to get sea sick!

6. I got John to play in the water with me, since typically he's trying to catch waves on his surfboard. It was kinda cute and romantic to float around in his arms, or wave jump next to him...then he untied my bikini bottoms. I giggled as he waved them over his head, um, until I noticed that Jersey's water quality had much improved and no longer was I staring down at murkiness, I was staring at...well, the same thing that the prepubescent boys were staring at!! Needless to say, I made old Johnny help me tie back up before I got a corruption of minors charge lodged against me.

7. I learned that John can whip up a mighty fine Margarita. This will come in handy in times when I feel the need to numb myself after he loses his glasses!! (just kidding John)

8. The only annoying moment of the whole weekend was when we were packing our things up from the beach. We reached the car and I handed John his keys. He kept his hand out and asked for his glasses and I replied with pinched eyebrows, "I don't remember you putting them in the beach bag..." trailing off, knowing where this was going. Uh oh! He starts tearing to the beach to try to find them, I go chasing afterwards. In his frustration, he yells at me, I refuse to let this thing de-escalate, so I yell back at him. Ridiculously, I'm combing the sand while yelling smartass comments at him...apparently, our behavior was appalling because another couple was trying to take in the sunset and um, they moved their beach chairs away from us. To be fair, John tried (after a while) to get us to act like adults and said, "Could you lower your voice?" To which I responded, "No I won't lower my voice, and don't tell me what to do, you can't even find your glasses!!" Or something puerile and smartass like that. We never did find those glasses, but um, we did apologize to each other.

9. Oh wait! One more annoying thing. During the fight, John mentioned something snide about my "I heart pirate boys" beach bag and to show him that I (like to act like a five year old) cared, I threw it out the window. This is me...being sad...for being an idiot. I will forever mourn that bag. John now refers to my now defunct bag as the Derek bag and he said that I can get an "I heart accountant boys" bag, while I love one accountant, I feel that there's not enough love in my heart for the whole damn lot of 'em...The worst part of my overly dramatic act was the fact, that John never even noticed I did it. Gosh I'm a baby sometimes! :)
Thursday, July 13, 2006
So I found myself a sundress and I thought I'd take it for a practice run in the city. As luck would have it, as soon as I turned on John's block it started to pour, and it was so humid it just seemed to turn to steam as it hit the asphalt. My preparations were all for naught...

I had done a crazy wave in my hair since the dress had a fifties feel to it. I had my toe nails painted cherry red and I bought high patent leather shoes for the occasion. I forgot. I don't know how to walk in the city in high heels without fully concentrating on my feet. My sexy image faded of what I was going to look like, only to reveal a girl with frizzy hair, carrying her shoes, trying desperately to keep her white polka dotted dress from getting soaked.

I walked the 10-12 blocks it takes to get to John's work and retreated to the air conditioned wonderfulness that is Starbucks...and now to reveal something shocking...I had never been to a Starbucks before. And still, I've never had coffee. I bought a black cherry soda and propped myself in the window to wait for Johnny to get done work.

I won't bore you with the details of how we got a little tipsy, and my dress remained on, but over my head for most of the evening...but I felt like the little sundress was a success. This morning as I was slipping it back on, John looked at me with a little smile on his face and said, "Ya know? You look just like your blog..." and I realized that yes, indeed I did.

If you've got a good thing going, don't quit.
Now to wear these heels around the house all day to break them in...or cut my feet off.
One of the two will do nicely.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Sundresses, why hast thou forsaken me?
Because my mom's trying to figure out her role in life (roll your eyes with me) now that her only child will soon be someone's wife, she feels the need to buy me lots of stuff. I'm not adverse to this idea at kind of reminds me of the shopping sprees that I would rope her into when my dad was still alive and we'd have to sneak bags into the house over the course of a week from the trunk so we wouldn't have to take our precious bounty back to the mall.

I need clothes. Particularly summer clothes--because to be honest folks? Every summer I've been known to wear a bikini, boxers, tank tops and tshirts...because I don't really have to go anywhere but the pool deck. When I go out, I wear jeans. Shorts are not part of my repetoire. Sundresses used to be, but I haven't found any I've liked in a long while. With Vegas sparkling on the horizon, I needed to do something quickly, because otherwise my husband was going to be walking around with my bum self, in his boxers...probably not the best look...and it's never good when newlyweds are embarassed to be seen in public with each other--he'll have to save that for the Menopausal years when I'll take to ripping my shirt off in public to fan myself from the hot flashes while saying, "Lawd a'mercy, I'ma burning up Johnny!" That's when he's allowed to be embarassed of for adopting an accent and two, for the whole clothes ripping thing.

And though my mom offered to buy me new sandals, new dresses, new anythings...I found nothing. If I found something, it wasn't in my size, or was only available in Baby Poop Green. So I got frustrated, looked the gift horse in the mouth (my mom), and said, "Let's just go home and read books" (because I'm a dork, yo). And her mouth dropped and said, "But what are you going to do?? You can't run around naked the whole time you're in Vegas!!"
"The hell I can't!" as I stormed out of the mall and into my mother's car.
Friday, July 07, 2006
...and back to sappy...
How could you not love a man who sends you a message that reads, " I mean're the best part of every day..."

To think, I've waiting 29 years for that message.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Sick of sappy? How about a little smut?
Someone just can't get enough of her fiance...and that someone folks, is moi!

Half liquored up last night I decided to text my boy and tell him a few choice dirty things that I wanted to do to his sexy bod. And as I was corresponding with John I decided that I didn't want to put these things on hold...what to do?? Well, I was too tipsy to hop in the car so I did the next best, not phone sex. No, not filthy photographs--although I attempted that route earlier yesterday, but sadly, he only received the one tame photo I emailed him. Some other John is probably scratching his head wondering how on earth he received such dirty little pictures. Or, he's smiling.

So what did I do? I scheduled a little lunch hour with my favorite man--or perhaps, we could call it Afternoon Delight, like that ridiculous little song. Or maybe I could even call it Happy Hour? Whatever it was, it was fun picking John up from work (after I circled the city block where he works for what seems like forever), giving him his wedding presents (round 1), a pretty (I mean handsome) little money clip and a crystal knicknack that is named after John's (and my soon to be) last name. The knicknack isn't all that impressive, but it was cute to watch John open his first (and sorry to say) probably last item out of that fancy little blue box. Obviously, I was supposed to wait until right before our wedding (which is in 18 days, oh my!!) to give John my gifts...but as I didn't wait to have sex with him until marriage, I figured I can give him presents whenever I want. That's just my logic, but hey, you guys do what you want to do :)

And of course, the most fun part of our hour together was the part where we ripped off our clothes--I bought new pants for the occasion--how twisted is that?? They were on for a total of four minutes (which was the extent of our commute back to his house) however, these pants were the source of my favorite exchange of the hour was this:
"So what do you think? I think they make my ass look enormous..."
"Well they do make your ass look big, but it looks goood!" John states while staring at my ass with a grin I've only seen on little children on Christmas morning when hopped up on Pixie Stix. I guess the pants stay.

After I got what I was after, I let him get dressed and I dropped him back off at work like a good boy.

Sometimes I have such good ideas, I even amaze myself.

Oh, and I'm classy. Very, very classy.

That is all for today. Oh wait...there's one last thing...I wish my future husband would blog more. Now, after the guilt trip, that is all...enjoy your day.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
A Glimpse of my bliss
Peppered into conversations and congratulations there are always the leaned-in whispered questions of, "Why so soon?" "You're not preggos, are you?" "I know you're happy and all, but how can you be so sure, so soon?"

My answers are usually, "Why not? Why wait? Why be engaged for a year when I know that I want to marry this man right now." and then "No I'm not pregnant." And to the question, "How can you be so sure, so soon?" I usually just shrug and say, "I just know."

Yesterday was a prime example of "just knowing" because it was such a simple, but perfect kind of day. He let me jump him numerous times, which is always a sign that it's going to be a darn good day--he's such a good sport, he he. We laid around in the morning watching nerd tv--you know, Discovery Channel animal shows, a little A&E and John even paused on the History Channel here and there. After our sponge-like brains ooohed and aahhed over the new information that was hitting our eyes and firing up the ol' synapses in the head, we decided to go over to my mom's and pick up our little orphan dog (she stayed with them while we were at the beach).

We also decided to go swimming, where I treated John to a fun little game of pantsing...I chased him all around the pool laughing and splashing while he held tight to his swim trunks as I tried desperately to pull them off. I managed to get them half down once but victory his that day...he got my bikini bottoms off in one try. And then it became a three ring circus. Our dog decided that yesterday was the day that she was going to take the plunge. She became the world's greatest diving dog in the history of dogs. Because she dove in, my older dog felt that she too, should come into the pool...only to realize that she hates water and that's why she had abstained from the water all these years. You can imagine then, John and myself, trying desperately to keep the dogs from tearing the liner of my mom's pool...John was constantly lifting dogs out of the pool, setting them on the deck, only to see them dive back in and swim around for a few seconds. The process repeated until we finally got out of the pool because John's hands were getting pruney.

We were politely kicked out so that my mom and her boyfriend could get ready for the fireworks show they were going to, and we picked up food to grill. Chicken, hotdogs, potato salad, and limeade with rum were all part of our menu. Our little forray to the grocery store also included the cutest thing I've seen in a very long time--John put together a care package for his roommates, with all the stuff that they need to sustain the apartment without him, like soap, sponges and stuff like that. It was so sweet. John and Roommate 1 have been roommates for over five years, and now that John's moving, a chapter's closing. Roommate 1 already misses John--and John hasn't even begun to pack yet!!

And now I give some reasons why John should be initiated into sainthood:

1. He let me pelt him with ice. Was he doing anything to deserve this? Nope. Were we playing around? Nope. He was just laying on the couch minding his own business--and there I am, throwing ice from the freezer at him (I think I'm a six year old).

2. He let me molest him with the ice (I guess it's a good thing I'm not a six year old, otherwise John would have some 'splaining to do).

3. I wouldn't stop tickling him. I'm sorry, he looks really cute when he's all squirmy (although I felt sympathy and gave him a break for a few hours).

4. He was tired, he had to go home-- but he let me seduce him one last time (seriously, I had been putting him to work in that area all day long), mid-seduction I have a monster asthma attack--everything that was occurring had to cease and desist immediately...if ever there was a man that could use the blue ball murder plea, it would've been John at that moment.

5. He gets scared, and runs around everywhere looking for an inhaler. I keep saying weakly, "There's one on every floor" even though it was apparent that there sure as hell wasn't.

6. He sits next to me for a little longer than he probably should've making sure I'm ok, and kisses this sleeping naked, asthmatic, soon to be wife on the head, wrapping me up in a blanket, telling me that he loves me and that always leaves me with a smile on my sleepy face.
well, I'm not dead nor retired...
What to write about...hmmm.

I don't want to do a weekend recap...gotta think, think, think about the highlights.