Operation "Don't Be A Fatass" has begun and I'm pleased to say that in 8 days of having a membership to the Y, I've gone 6 days. Go ahead, tell me I'm awesome because I kind of am ( I lost 2.6 lbs this week alone! Wooo!). With almost two weeks under my belt of hanging with the baby and I can say that we're going to survive the summer (I think) and have fun (I think).

Some interesting things that have happened as of late:

Yesterday was a comedy of errors in which I kind of wanted to kill myself (not really, don't call for help just yet) after Tommy peed on me, the couch, himself and the dog 4 times and we all had to change 4 times.  He also sputtered pureed peaches me which was kind of like the Exorcist except it was delicious and not scary.  However, that was shirt number 5 of the day. Finally I gave up and went to the grocery store looking like I had lost a food fight, which if you think about it. I kind of did.  In other news, I apparently have a motherly bone in my body.

A few days ago my Mama Bear instinct reared her ugly head when I went to the Y daycare and dropped my baby off. When I came to pick him up, all different ladies were in there and I just pointed to the baby I wanted (my own of course) and they handed him to me!!! I flipped shit and told them to never just give me my child, always ask me for my ID card. They looked at me like I was crazy but whatever, my kid's the cutest and most well behaved kid in the place--everyone's going to point at him at one time or another!

As a teacher, I've had the awesome advantage of having lazy summers. Summers in which I would go out to bars or sit out on my deck into the wee hours of the morning, sleep in, layout, feast when I felt up to it, watch ER reruns when it was too hot (for some reason TNT is always on at my house and I have no desire to watch ER reruns because I never watched ER firstruns but that's what I do) Last summer was different in that I couldn't drink but I still had my freedom. This summer is incredibly different in that I can't drink (fine), I can't layout...I can't do anything really except for our very healthy options of taking long walks, going to the gym and babbling together on the floor.  So far, it's been pretty fun but I'm a pale ass mofo which makes me sad.  Also, the fact that I can't sit and read a book is a little sad too...my mom said in 7 years I'll be able to read again, I look forward to it.

At exactly 3pm tomorrow afternoon I'm officially done with teaching for the summer.  I am both elated and terrified. Elated because, yay! this has been the hardest year for me (worse than even my first year of teaching).We got a new curriculum, new textbook, I had a baby, you know--the usual!  

Terrified because although I love my child, I only really spend nights and weekends with him.  Basically, he's like a really cool cell phone with a really shitty plan.  So, as of Tuesday I get to be a mom and really hang out with my child but in the back of my head I keep thinking, "What the hell are we going to do together from 6 am to 7:30 pm?!?"  I guess we'll figure it out and I have a feeling that this might just jump start the blog as I try to stay sane.

I don't know if you know this about me but I like my undies to be flashy and fancy like a stripper or perhaps a really flashy or fancy hooker. It all stems from my college job at Victoria Secret...I only bought the shiny stuff. So it's no wonder that I would own a thong that had black rhinestones that formed a v in the back. Well...I put the thing on in the morning because believe it or not, they're not my fancy undies and I went to work thinking nothing about my underwear selection.

Apparently, over the course of the day one of the rhinestones must've fallen out of the little metal clasps. The little metal clasp snagged itself on my pants and pulled itself down into an evil little hook. Later, that little hook would sink deep into a tender part of my ass that I would have to suavely remove (it hurt so bad and I was trying to not to let it show because there was no way that I could get at it without the whole world knowing). I'm not sure what's worse...the fact that I cut my ass with my underwear or the fact that I had a snoopy bandaid on my butt.

Every year (well...we've only had two wedding anniversaries but...)John and I go to a different city for our anniversary and do a little sight seeing but mostly we go to get drunk in a city foreign to us. Shocking but true, John and I love to drink. I've always liked Carribean destinations myself but John has turned me into a city loving-vacationer because he fills me to the brim with _______ (insert liquor here...most likely, dirty gin martinis or lots of beer). I'm guessing that this year's drunkapolooza will not be able to go down as they have in the past because of our spawning (Oh child, why must you interfere with Mommy's drinking? ha ha...kidding), which on most occasions is cool but I guess I'm going to have to get my anniversary/drunkfest done in Clarion, PA this year when we're out at a wedding two weeks before our anniversary. I just did some research and there are about 7,000 people living in Clarion and the "sights" are hunting and maybe a little farmer's market action. I sense some VFW or hunting club drinking that weekend.

I am pleased to announce that for the first time in my life since 2004 I will be living without seafoam green carpetry. When I moved into my first townhouse (a gorgeous, gorgeous building) I was completely pleased with the state of things minus one thing--it had the most hideous green carpet in the living room. But...it was only in the living room and I was mostly out drinking in the bars so I wasn't really living in the living room so it worked for me--quite well actually.

Then I moved to a house closer to my work. So close in fact that I can walk to work and John can envy me daily as he gets on the train each day for an hour commute (after his 40 minute commute to the train) it is very clear to me he loves me--or he's having wild, passionate sex on the train each day..either way, it seems to be working for us. Clearly, I bought the place because of the 30 second commute but in the bargain I was "blessed" with an entire 2nd floor of seafoam green carpet-AGAIN. Now, you can claim that perhaps it was a trend in Pennsylvania at the time--however, my first home was built in 2004 and my second home was built in 1998 or thereabouts, so you'd be wrong. You'd be correct if you said that seafoam green carpet must've been dirt-ass cheap throughout the past decade!

Well, finally in my lifetime I am out of debt. John and I worked really hard...and the fact that I was pregnant helped us to stay out of bars and to rack up bar tabs in the triple and even quadrouple digits (true story...I once racked up a four digit bar tab in my effort to woo John...it seemed like a good idea at the time but of course I was drunk as a skunk). Because we got out of debt I can finally get my ass away from my 21 year old carpet (original with the house and complete with my personal stains which include Hurricane's dropped on the floor--that shit does not come out). Next week, I will offically own hardwood flooring. The guy delivered it today and I had to hold myself back from pleasuring myself on the boxes. They're right in front of the window and wood is really hard--that's the real reason why I didn't.

Blogging is always on my mind. I get cross with myself because I think of all the things I want to be doing and I don't get any of them done...this includes blogging, showering and doing actual work for work. I've almost gotten over the fact that I give up showers for extra sleep...I don't call it laziness, I call it me time. (You say tomato, I say fuck you). I haven't gotten over the fact that I haven't been blogging.

But anyways...

I really miss blogging so I'm going to make an effort to just toss out a stupid post here and there--posts that don't involve Tommy every second, because really? That child takes up enough of my brain, he can leave my blog be...thank you very much. Last week was my Spring Break and sometimes I think back to the days of yore when I would enter and win wet t-shirt contests...I think I could still win one. I'm willing to test my theory. However, this year I wasn't fated to test it out because I was sick as a dog--which is what my body does to me every. single. vacation I ever have. I would totally kick my body's ass if it didn't require coordination and effort. I was so sick to the point where my mom had to come over and take care of me (let me sleep, ply me with meds and liquids) and take care of the baby. It was the most relaxing and soothing day of my life post baby--she made me lunch, dinner (with dessert! bless her heart!) and let me sleep for HOURS, it was amazing. Had I not been so deathly ill I would've kissed her hard.
Ok, so this wasn't an earth shattering post but I'm easing myself back into being awesome.
What's been going on with you?