It's always a welcome surprise to find a cryptic love note that only you would get when you open the refrigerator to grab a simple bottle of water.

Oh and it'll also make your mom laugh pretty hard too and then you have to both explain and demonstrate what the Kiss Shark is famous for.

PS. I love "da" Kiss Shark's luscious lips and striking booty.

My friend Tara just began seeing a therapist, I don't think she'd mind me telling you because you don't know her. When she came back from her first appointment I asked her how it went and she told me the following:

Tara: Well, she's a lot older than I expected her to be...

Me: I guess that could be good, she's experienced and wise or whatever...

Tara: No, you don't get it. She started to fall asleep while I was talking!

Me: (gasping laughter that I can't control) What did you do?

Tara: I yelled loudly, "Are you OK?"

Me: That worked right?

Tara: For a little. She apologized and blamed it on new medication.

Me: Right....the old medication trick, and well she could've just blamed it on the fact that she was old! That's what she should've done.

Tara: Well...that made her explain to me that she needed to eat. So she whipped out crackers and Easy Cheese while I continued talking about my problems.

Me: What?!? What's wrong with this old bag?

Tara: I don't know, but she did offer me a cracker while she was spraying on her cheese!

Me: Were you just dying of laughter? Did you take a cracker and cheese? I would've I love Easy Cheese!

Tara: No I didn't take a cracker! I just wanted to get out of there. I mean, here I am spilling intimate details of my life and the lady is just dining and napping on my dime!

Me: Are you going to go back? I kinda think you have to go back to see what she's going to do next. Maybe she'll iron? Play Solitaire? Look at porn on the Internet?

Tara: I don't know. I want to go back but I don't know if I'll leave her living if she whips out the hor d'oerves again.

Me: Just think, I'm constantly eating when you tell me your problems...and I used to be drunk most of the time too, just pretend you're talking to a really old, hungry drunk version of me.

Tara: I can do that.

John came home from work last night and he was sight seeing in the fridge while talking to me and I heard him say, "Oh and I got you a bunny at lunch today!"
I got all excited and said, "What?!? Really?"
And he peeked over the top of the fridge door and said, "I had lunch with Bummy today...we had Thai...What did you think I said?" he asked as he saw my face fall a little.
"I thought you said you bought me a bunny at lunch".
"That's the third most excited I've ever seen you..."
"What were the other two things?" I asked.
"Well, you were all excited when we were at the beach last week and that time you saw Nerd Rope at the grocery store you were really excited."
"True, and both those things were really exciting...imagine me on the beach eating Nerd Rope while petting my bunny?"

And then I think he really thought about getting me a bunny but then saw that I didn't want an outside bunny. He told me he never heard of an inside bunny and so I referenced VJ and her bunny Rudolf and then John pretended to be asleep...I think the bunny conversation is over. It's ok anyways, I really just want about 6 puppies right now but I'm sure Frankie would get very cranky over that.
o

Finally...I've gotten my feed straightened out. So, here it is:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/
ThatWomanSpeaksEighteenLanguagesAndCantSaynoInAnyOfThem

There's a little trait in my small family unit all share except for me because I'm too lazy...obsessive compulsiveness. John's an obsessive cleaner/task doer. My dog is an obsessive squirrel hunter. This is a new thing for Frankie, she never seemed too concerned about other animals and I'm not necessarily sure that she's trying to hunt them, I think she wants them to be her friends. She sits for hours under the tree where the squirrels chitter angrily at her but she just whines and paws at the air hoping they'll come down. There's nothing secretive about her behavior, she barks, she attempts to climb the tree and she "talks" (weird growly whine she does) when they freak out on her. This is what I see while I sunbathe.

Waking up this morning I smiled at John,and then I got kicked in the eye by the dog who was trying to push me away so that she could snuggle up with John a little more. I yelped more than a little and said, "Jeez! This is why I told Antwaan to leave you outside last night!" and then John's eyebrow raised quizzically.
"Antwaan?"
"Well...last night I had a dream where I was having dinner and drinks with Antwaan Randel El and then we went dancing and then we were dog sitting" I stated very matter of factly. (Now keep in mind that I don't really know much about football and I don't think I would recognize Mr. Randel El if he walked up to me and kicked me in the eye like my dog does on a daily basis).
"I didn't even know you knew who Antwaan Randel El was..."
"Well, I don't really. I guess I just heard his name when watching football with you."
"Really, he makes like 5 throws a year and he's only a semi-good wide receiver... [blah, blah, blah...]."
"Well whatever, somehow I know his name!"
"If you're having sex dreams about big football players you could just tell me..."
"It wasn't a sex dream! We were having dinner and I was all pregnant and I was smoking at the bar. Antwaan yelled at me for smoking and then he took me dancing. Most of the dream was just us dancing up a storm!"
John leaned over laughing, "Really? So it wasn't even sexy dancing?"
"Nope, we were just dancing fools, and I was really, really good...so I knew it was dream!" I laughed.
"That's probably the greatest dream ever, just dancing with an NFL player all night!"
"Yeah and then we went dog sitting and there were like 20 dogs and I thought it was going to be pure chaos but Antwaan and I held our own."
"You have really weird dreams..."
"Yeah, I know."

Ok, I miss everyone too...I should have a lot to write about (non baby related) but I'm swamped with work. Never fear, in three short days I'm all yours for the rest of the summer...so just take in this picture and tell me that my kid isn't the coolest thing ever! Seriously, what other fetus freaks its' mother out by looking directly into the ultrasound and putting its' hands over its' ears! I have normal, sweet pictures of Young Meezy but this one kept cracking me up- and so, I share it with you.