John came home from work last night and he was sight seeing in the fridge while talking to me and I heard him say, "Oh and I got you a bunny at lunch today!"
I got all excited and said, "What?!? Really?"
And he peeked over the top of the fridge door and said, "I had lunch with Bummy today...we had Thai...What did you think I said?" he asked as he saw my face fall a little.
"I thought you said you bought me a bunny at lunch".
"That's the third most excited I've ever seen you..."
"What were the other two things?" I asked.
"Well, you were all excited when we were at the beach last week and that time you saw Nerd Rope at the grocery store you were really excited."
"True, and both those things were really exciting...imagine me on the beach eating Nerd Rope while petting my bunny?"

And then I think he really thought about getting me a bunny but then saw that I didn't want an outside bunny. He told me he never heard of an inside bunny and so I referenced VJ and her bunny Rudolf and then John pretended to be asleep...I think the bunny conversation is over. It's ok anyways, I really just want about 6 puppies right now but I'm sure Frankie would get very cranky over that.
o

I can't convey all that it was to reconnect with an old friend...a friendship I had that I really never got a chance to really cultivate. We met my senior year of college, her freshman year but due to her maturity and my immaturity we were able to connect in a way that is not often possible when you're standing (laying) around a keg. Somehow, she was able to see that there was something genuine inside me ( at a point in my life where I felt that everyone only took me at face value) and I loved her instantly. Our mutual love was abruptly cut short because of my father's death.

College was such an intense part of my life. I breathed it in, I lived it with probably more gusto than I should've...I have great stories from it, and I don't regret a single minute of it, but I definitely was there to understand who I was/am more than I was for an education (that's what graduate school and independent study was for). I often have suffocating dreams about the people "I left behind" in college. It may sound stupid but it kills me that I have less than a handful of friends whom I keep in contact with. I chalk half of it up to the fact that I was OUTRAGEOUS in college but the other half to the fact that my father died the day after my college graduation. When people tried to reconnect, I shunned them...my new life of dealing with grief, my mother and reality was really too much to handle anything...

Cue Thursday night. Lauren and I decided to meet up after seven years. We hardly knew each other and yet, there was a connection between us, "back in the day" that made me eager to see her and to drink up everything that she had seen, done and experienced in the time that we had been apart. Everything was easy. She walked into my house and was pummeled by my dog and took it with extreme grace. Honestly, Frankie only pummels people of extreme quality.

I took her to the FQB, one of my favorite places to go...we may be a decaying town with lots of money but no desire to update our look from 1967, but the FQB sits amidst the rotting Main Street and shines. Lauren and I became music, giving and taking from each other, stories would crescendo, ending in laughter or facial grimaces too scary to even describe. When we left each other, I knew that I had gained a new friend. Even though she had been my friend before in concept, she is now my true friend...a friend that would have no problem opening my heart to---and it reminded me very much of the day that I had met her--seven years ago.

I think I might be the best wife ever...

John's been having a rough time at work lately--I mean, you know, with a four hour commute a day wearing on him and all (I think he's just being a whiner...KIDDING!). On top of hating battling the highways and bypasses that don't bypass a damn thing, our house is in major flux.

John's a neatness and organization expert. He actually made me pick out four spoons that I really "liked" (because I have mixed sets) and that was all I got. He removed my clutter for me...I need it. He also helped me clean out my car, which hasn't been cleaned out in over 2 years! Yeah, this is the kind of disorganization that he has to deal with on a daily basis...I like to collect clutter. He's actually gently easing me into a more streamlined lifestyle.

Well because of our current housemates; ER, his girfriend, his dog, my friend E's cat and our own dog and ALL of our stuff crammed in here, this isn't quite John's ideal situation. So...

I bought him a BRAND NEW TV...but not just any TV. I got this (Disclaimer: That's not me!)

Yes ladies, I think the bar just got raised. *patting myself on the back*

Well these are a few of them...

Our gorgeous view of the Chrysler building, my roses, lots of pictures from Jekyll and Hyde--one of the best weekends ever.

It will be titled, 52 subtitled...How I Got Married in Under 52 Weeks...sub-sub titled It May Not Work for You Because John and I Totally Rock

(I may leave off the sub-sub...don't want to look too pretentious,right?)

Each chapter will be a "step"...a step in which we did something right, or did something wrong. Let me map out my book for y'all. All of the embarassing steps are steps that I might leave out if I were you, or anyone trying to make the long trek to love.

Step 1- Make Your Boy Believe You're Cool- For example: I told John that I would be in Philly on a random Tuesday for tacos (by the way, the anniversary for this fateful first hangout--not quite a date--was last night! Whoo! I wish I could say I did something clever like make tacos for dinner, but alas, I thought of it right before I drifted off to Nodsville). I never went to the city, I didn't have the money or the coolness to actually be roaming the city on worknights but...I sure did send him a text message saying where I was going to be and that he should meet up with me. His reply, "Will you be wearing pigtails?" Sadly, I forgot to put them in that night. I learned from my mistake.

Step 2- Stay Away From the Phone- I flirted with that boy hardcore over text messages only. I knew that my kryptonite was my telephone banter. I'm fun, I'm witty...on the phone there's lots of silence and small talk...very, very uncomfortable small talk. Mistake I learned from this? Text messages are often ambiguous and as much as I thought I was flirting with him, there were times when he had no idea what I was talking about...and like-wise with him.

Step 3-Ask Him Out On a Date- (before someone else can)- I'm not going to deny that I was instantly intrigued by ol' Johnnyboy, and who wouldn't be? He's good looking, he's smart, he's super sexy and he has the softest lips that have ever touched mine (although I didn't know it at the time, I suspected that they were sooooft). So what's a girl to do? Sit around? Wait for a call? The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You would say yes. I would give a definitive, "No." If you were looking for a job, and you saw the most ideal position in the classifieds would you sit around and wait for them to call you? Perhaps...but you wouldn't get the job. In this case, I probably wouldn't have intrigued John into putting his suede soft lips upon mine.

Embarassing Step 4-Go Out Without Knowing that Your "Friend" is Going to Show Up- In a strange turn of events, I somehow got my period four days early. Unfortunately for me, I got that "friend" (who appears to be somwhat of a showboating jerk of a friend) mid sex the morning after our first sex. So basically I'm saying, the second time I had sex with John, I imprinted into his memory a bloody crime scene. Not that you couldn't guess this but...it wasn't hot. In fact, after he left, I sat on the edge of the bed and cried, thinking that I would never get to see that penis (I mean, the sweethearted man) again.

Semi-embarassing Step 5- Be Very Bold- So, say you're me. You've had crime scene sex with a man, he still seems interested in you...you've apologized multiple times and he seems actually sympathetic! Yeah! He's quite a catch (and remains so, to this very moment)! So say, you get asked on a second date, this time on his turf...you have to pull out the stops. He already knows that you like sex and you've found out his little turn ons like knee socks, pigtails and Jameson Irish Whiskey. You MUST do something with this knowledge.
In this case, I showed up promptly at seven most likely looking like I was trying too hard in knee highs (hidden under my jeans as a little surprise/in case he didn't want to take my pants off, he didn't know I did it), with long low pigtails with bangs sweeping across my forehead and a small bottle of whiskey to present him when he opened the door. Luckily, in my case, after the first glass of whiskey, he took my pants off in the kitchen and appreciated everything that I had done to "prepare" for the date. Ah...but I was heading to hookup material here only, wasn't I? Being a trollop doesn't often pay off...even though I would say that I wasn't being a trollop, I was being me and enjoying life...anyways...how to fix that issue??

Semi-embarassing/I don't think I actually did this-Step 6- Be Brazen- After the kitchen sex we went out for dinner. It was all incredibly exciting for a country bumpkin like me. We didn't go anywhere fancy, we just went to a place that had scrumptious food and was well known to the city folk. Apparently, John told me that he had other dates lined up...kind of like telling me..."Hey, we can hook up, but I'm not saying I'm not hooking up with others." Apparently, I asked him to cancel said dates and to date me exclusively because I only wanted to date him and (the and is what I think saved me, because I sounded like a confident woman, and not a needy one) "that I didn't have time to wait around and see if he wanted to date me or not." I believe that I said it, because I can pull of the dating bravado necessary for such a statement.

More steps and flubs from the past year later...I don't want to overwhelm you with my (lack of) awesomeness just yet. John, if you get bored at work (which I know you're overwhelmed right now so don't worry), you can add your two cents to this post.

I'm awfully thankful for having an awesome husband. It will soon become apparent why.

This was our weekend (In list form because I'm lazy):

Friday-'Drink, drink, drink your face off ' (sing to "Shake, shake shake senora...") was our theme. We hung out at home, we did some drinking, we did some twisting into human pretzels, we did some breaking of furniture while twisting into pretzels, we did some testing of new $140 purchase (Which I was a big fan of, and I wholeheartedly approve of John's purchase...after the fact) After consuming mass quantities of rum we went over to our friend Tony's house and then out on the town (by town I mean the tiny Cornfield in which we live). After that I was carted to an after party that I don't really remember. I hear that I was brought home and carried tenderly into the house. However, I tend to think that I was dragged toward the door and then told to walk or he'd beat me for being such a lush...that's just a guess though.

Saturday- I woke up slightly drunk--to head off a hangover, John handed me a Screwdriver made with leftover Everclear--hmm, I love him because he gives me grain alcohol at 11:30 in the morning. Inevitably, hormones and boozed caused something "amazing" to happen...I started to cry because I'm a big baby and I missed my daddy--particularly because we always had such fun Thanksgivings. Then I received some bad news (while still drunk) on the phone and bawled some more. Unable to articulate my sorrow to John without hic-cupping, sobbing and wailing (then apologizing for being a "freak about everything"), John did the only sane thing that a man in his position could--he went out and bought vodka and wine which we sipped all day laughing, watching tv, and just have a leisurely good time. He cooked me an awesome dinner (the first of two), and made me a fort and called it Fort Leisure (which we slept in for the rest of the weekend). We went out to get a movie but when we came back...I had some of the most amazing sex ever--so good that the old lady that I am, hurt her hip/back from attempting to be all bendy like (Again!)...John can stay, it's decided.

Sunday--More maxin' and relaxin' in Fort Leisure where Leisure Wife (that's me), Leisure Dog and Leisure Spouse hung out all day watching football, rolling around laughing, John not laughing at any of my jokes!! Ever!! I took a nice two hour nap and when I awoke, there was a fantastic dinner in front of me! We found out on Sunday that our family Thanksgiving dinner that was supposed to be John, myself, my mom, her boyfriend, John's dad, John's mom, John's sister and her boyfriend has grown about more four people...apparently John's sister's boyfriend has four kids. Don't get me wrong, I like kids, but I don't know if I like four...in one room, on Thanksgiving (Speaking of kids, in my drunken state on Friday, I made John map out for me when I can have a baby because I'm feeling old...due to the fact that I will be 3-fucking-0 in less than four months...ick. Oprah has me scared since my fertility has been nosediving since 27--I never watch that stupid show, why'd I catch that one? I'm not really in a rush other than that).

So that's it in a nutshell. This Thanksgiving I'm going to give thanks for my awesome leisurely weekend, and laying around with the most fun person in the world. It was nice being pampered, in craziness, in drunkeness and in health.