This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Twitter's Down!
What am I to do? Actually blog? Well, ok...if I think of something...

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Highlights and Lowlights of our Anniversary
I found out that I hate Sleepnumber beds and that my sleepnumber is somewhere between 1-2, unfortunately, it doesn't go that low. Every time I got out of the bed my back was all kinked and I limped like an old woman into the bathroom because every sleep number I tried turned the bed into a freaking board.

We went to Fogo de Chao for dinner and it was amazing...I've never eaten so much meat in all my life (not a euphemism). They were particularly nice to us because they gave us a surprise 2nd anniversary flan...which we tried to cram into our bellies but there was just no room because I was full of filet mignon.

We left the restaurant and John seriously considered getting us a taxi to walk the 4 blocks that it would take for us to get back to the hotel because it hurt to walk--that's how full we were. Instead we decided to tough it out and we probably looked like the drunkest people in the world as we bobbled and weaved on the sidewalk (obviously it wasn't true...don't call CPS) fact we were just so stuffed that walking was tough. I may have been seen holding onto the sides of buildings for suppor/trying to propel my body towards the hotel.

We accidently taunted a woman in the park who was working for the local animal shelter. They have this program where they bring stray dogs that are up for adoption to the park for people to pet and play with and ultimately adopt. John and I had just finished lunch and I saw like a five year old, I yelled "PUPPIES!" and then ran off to pet them (actually, I don't run so much anymore...totter is more accurate). John and I both fell in love with a brindled lovely and we petted her and talked with the lady and then stopped short of adopting the dog because we knew Frankie (our dog) is already jealous of our unborn spawn...she realy wouldn't stand sharing time with another dog! So we bolted--because we both wanted the dog but neither of us wanted to explain it to Frankie.

We went to the Phillies game and the boys won! We had a club box which is usually something I'm totally grateful for, because drinks and free food. Sticking with the free food and the AC because it was just about 3,000 degrees, I smashed food in my face as did John. Occasionally I raised my head from my plate to watch the game, but only occasionally. That night we paid for our gluttony...big time. At around 1:30 am we both were suffering from heartburn and so we ventured out on the town to the closest 24 hour CVS. As we clutched our chests, clad in our pjs and my awesome bedhead we passed our former selves on the streets...tons of good looking, well dressed drunkards fleeing bars and clubs as I held my pregnant belly and chest waddling next to John. My, my how things change.

I think this was the best anniversary so far! At least this time there were no drunken fights :)

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Thursday, July 24, 2008
Knowing your passions
It's a good thing to find a mate who deeply knows your passions...John definitely knows mine. For example, last year for our anniversary, he knew I loved to drink and he accomodated that very nicely. In fact, I'm not sure why we even went to Chicago because all we did was go from bar to bar! ha ha...

This year with drinking out of the question, he knew my other two favorite passions--fancy hotels and food. So while we're really not going too far for our mini-vacay/anniversary, we're going to have a fabulous time hanging out in some of our old haunts and stomping grounds. John hasn't been getting a lot of sex lately (that point of pregnancy hasn't really kicked in yet sadly) but he knows that I adore hotel sex more than anything. So it's no wonder that we'll be staying here. He also knows that my two favorite things to eat in the world are steak (filet wrapped in bacon to be more specific) and mashed potatoes so it's very clear that he picked the best restaurant to fit my needs. Clearly, I will not let my belly shyness get in the way of fulfilling his needs (which is why I thought this post required the "John the sex stallion" it a premonition.

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Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Two Years...and counting
This week two years ago I was getting ready to go to Vegas and marry a man I had known for only about 7 months but whom I was madly in love with.

This week one year ago, Johnny and I were celebrating our anniversary in Chicago by drinking our faces off...warm champagne did me in.

This week, we celebrate our two year anniversary, as I sit here, 19 weeks pregnant, and reading over the blog I realize how much the two of us have grown. This year we had to put our noses down and really try to kill off debt. But I think we managed to have plenty of fun together (although I'm sure John can't remember the last time he had fun with me...being pregnant has taken some of my fun quotient away...I've become more of a fat hermit if you will). So, here were a few posts from the year that reminded me that we will always be better together.

Playing hooky... from work to snuggle.

First sex tape together... perhaps some of the angles weren't so flattering, but it was still fun.

The endless game nights in the effort to stop giving the bars all of our hard earned cash...obviously, the game nights didn't stop me from drinking myself silly.

Turning normal Thanksgiving leftovers into a sexperience...

We all learned that John's a sock monster...

Before April, we played all the drunken wii that's fit to be played, although the post doesn't reflect that, we played drunken wii all the time.

Now we're pregnant , probably our biggest growing experience together...especially me, I really miss my waist.

If nothing else from this post, I've learned that I've been a pretty bad blogger this year because I know we did some pretty hilarious things this year but they're all still in blogger drafts. I promise to try and do better--there are some real gems in there.

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Thursday, July 17, 2008
On the dick!
I was waiting for my friend to drop by because she has something she needs me to take to a baby shower this weekend and I figured I'd do a little reading/ sunbathing while I waited. Just in case I didn't hear her ring the doorbell I put a note on the door telling her where I was...
She just came back to the deck to inform me that my note looks like it says, "I'm on the dick!" and then she said, "I wasn't sure what I was in store for once I came in the house, but then I realized that the "i" was actually and "e".

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Saturday, July 12, 2008
New Toys
oh my, I've never had such a shiny new toy as the new iphone. Words can't express how much I love it. I bought a matching set for John and I for our impending anniversary...and now I fear we'll never talk to each other again because we'll be too busy playing with our gizmos.

PS. A matching set requires being in line twice...for a total of 4.5 hours. That's true love right there.

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Wednesday, July 09, 2008
All I wanted was a pickle
I was just about to leave the grocery store when I had a sudden need for pickles...but not just any pickles, I needed a pickle from the barrel. You know what I'm talking about, barrel pickles are the best pickles out there! On a side note, when I was a very small child, I got a little overzealous about picking out my barrel pickle and I fell in. My dad had to pull me out! But that's neither here nor there because this was by far more embarassing than having my feet dangling out of a pickle barrel.

So, I mosey away from the register where I almost made a clean getaway and went to the very back of the grocery store in search of my pickle barrel. Just as I approached the pickles I felt a sneeze coming on and the first thought in my head was, "Oh God, I haven't peed in a while..." which might be a weird first thought for you, and it would've been a weird first thought for me four months ago but now that I'm pregnant when I last peed is first and foremost in my mind and here's why. I sneezed. Hard. And while I was sneezing I bent over and clenched as hard as I could but it didn't stop anything...I peed myself! I didn't just pee myself a little, I peed enough to make a spot on my newly acquired (and newly needed) maternity jeans!

I made a quick beeline for the closest register and got out of Dodge before someone suggested that I stop in aisle 8 and pick up some Depends. Tell me that I don't lead a glamorous life!

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