For years (obviously not many), I've been trying to get John to post on here as a guest. He has always shied away but tonight, after a bottle of wine I've talked him into dictating a post to me. Here is his story:

"I've been hiding something from my wife. I've been hiding something from my family, my co-workers, my dog and sadly, myself. Like a Republican senator I rail against the very thing I've been doing since before I can remember. I spend evenings and weekends feeding the washing machine, running the vacuum and painting, it's a vicious circle. I give off every indication that I'm obsessed with neatness and order. But still, there they are. In the wooden salad bowl above the refrigerator, in/on the floor and seat of my car, littering the depths of my soul...my dirty work socks.


In my defense, I hate socks. Wait! Wait, don't get me wrong! I'm not one of those guys who doesn't wear shoes without socks, I hate shoes! I've always hated shoes. If at all possible and/or sociably acceptable, I refuse to wear them. But one of the downfalls of a corporate world accounting job is...you guessed it...shoes. Every day...shoes! I think of plenty of excuses as to why these socks aren't removed and properly put in the washer, but that's not the point. The point is gathering this massive pile on cold Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is, I am John, I am a sock monster and I'm sorry".