Last night I wasn't in the mood to cook so I sent my emissary to Wendy's. John quickly placed our typical order (when we go to Wendy's), which is a number 2 and a number 7. When he arrived at the second window he was handed 9 straws. Immediately John knew what they did wrong and he shouted (politely), "We ordered a number 2 and a number 7!" as they attempted to hand him 9 soft drinks. John didn't receive this news quietly, and quickly yelled "Who orders 9 sodas!?!"

No one had an answer for him.

First let me say thanks to both my mom and Chelle, I'm not knocking their gifts (and borrowed books), but really pregnancy books are just terrifying and they cause you to name your tiny fetus, "Kung Pow Shrimp" because that's precisely what it looks like in the pictures right now.

Is it any wonder that I've been dreaming about Sigourney Weaver in Aliens nightly? I've seen what it's morphing into this week and hopefully it's not this because whenever I think of the alien baby I think of Spaceballs too:

So I bet you're wondering why I'm not posting and ignoring emails and such? Is it because I'm a bitch and I just don't love you guys anymore? Nope! Is it because I'm lazy? Partially! Ok...so what is it?

It's because I'm pregnant and I knew if I tried to write a post that I would include that little fact in there because I can't keep a secret! Uggh, see? I just did exactly what I was talking about. Anyways, now that the cat's out of the bag, I think I can come back and post regularly. Now, I know this is the internets and all, but keep this under your hats because I'm only five and a half weeks pregnant and I shouldn't be telling anyone but look who we're talking about here, I've never even made it close to Christmas with presents that I haven't given out!!

So...
Now you know.
And I feel better.
Please don't tell me any secrets, I won't be able to keep 'em.

PS. I'm not planning on becoming a mommyblogger (not that there's anything wrong with that), just so you know, I plan on writing hilarious stories--and I'm sure that I will have plenty since I'm now the most sober person you know and I can write all the ridiculous things John says WORD for WORD because I'll be able to remember them all! That's both a threat and a promise, Sweetie!

To the Last Lecture? It brings me to tears every time I've watched it...I'm aware that it's over an hour (nearly two) but I stop and start it here and there.

Here it is, and if you have the time watch a portion of this:



What are you doing to live out your childhood dreams?

Excuse my absence, I'm busy with work...
...and I don't have any good stories right now.