So I bet you're wondering why I'm not posting and ignoring emails and such? Is it because I'm a bitch and I just don't love you guys anymore? Nope! Is it because I'm lazy? Partially! Ok...so what is it?

It's because I'm pregnant and I knew if I tried to write a post that I would include that little fact in there because I can't keep a secret! Uggh, see? I just did exactly what I was talking about. Anyways, now that the cat's out of the bag, I think I can come back and post regularly. Now, I know this is the internets and all, but keep this under your hats because I'm only five and a half weeks pregnant and I shouldn't be telling anyone but look who we're talking about here, I've never even made it close to Christmas with presents that I haven't given out!!

So...
Now you know.
And I feel better.
Please don't tell me any secrets, I won't be able to keep 'em.

PS. I'm not planning on becoming a mommyblogger (not that there's anything wrong with that), just so you know, I plan on writing hilarious stories--and I'm sure that I will have plenty since I'm now the most sober person you know and I can write all the ridiculous things John says WORD for WORD because I'll be able to remember them all! That's both a threat and a promise, Sweetie!

My period is two days late and I'm excited!! Oh the 23 year old me of the past is seriously confused by that statement and would be praying to see only the control line while quietly praying and promising not to have any more one night stands! But the 30 year old me is secretly crossing her fingers and hoping the next time she pees on a stick she sees a plus or two lines or whatever the hell I'm supposed to see. Of course all the while, I know that two days is absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things...but I don't care. *squeal* I'm late!! Wooo! I know a bunch of people who are probably squinching their faces at the computer screen muttering to themselves, "Oh good lord, another one of those girls..." I'm sorry, I just. cannot. help. it.

I'm whispering silently in my head, "Please don't come, please don't come! For the love of all that's good in the world, please don't come!" I'm constantly running to the bathroom and checking (sorry for that bit of TMI), and so far so good. Seriously, I think I'm neurotic.

That being said, the cheap little stick tests that I purchased online keep telling me that I'm not pregnant...but I'm not ready to believe them just yet.

So John and I were playing Wii the other night and I slipped into the bathroom and decided that I wanted to take a pregnancy test because my boobs have been hurting and well, one of them has gotten ginormous...seriously, it's a little monster!!

I took the digital test and called to John while still sitting on the toilet. "Pregnant" he said slowly, it says pregnant! And then we hugged and I jumped around with my jeans around my ankle. But being the pessimist I am, I took another test the next morning, and this one read, "Not Pregnant". I sighed with disappointment in the first time in my life.

Now I have four more days to wait until I see whether or not I get my period...it looks like a 50/50 chance.

It was fun to have that feeling of excitement, this other feeling of anxiousness and not knowing isn't nearly as much fun.