Every year (well...we've only had two wedding anniversaries but...)John and I go to a different city for our anniversary and do a little sight seeing but mostly we go to get drunk in a city foreign to us. Shocking but true, John and I love to drink. I've always liked Carribean destinations myself but John has turned me into a city loving-vacationer because he fills me to the brim with _______ (insert liquor here...most likely, dirty gin martinis or lots of beer). I'm guessing that this year's drunkapolooza will not be able to go down as they have in the past because of our spawning (Oh child, why must you interfere with Mommy's drinking? ha ha...kidding), which on most occasions is cool but I guess I'm going to have to get my anniversary/drunkfest done in Clarion, PA this year when we're out at a wedding two weeks before our anniversary. I just did some research and there are about 7,000 people living in Clarion and the "sights" are hunting and maybe a little farmer's market action. I sense some VFW or hunting club drinking that weekend.

I found out that I hate Sleepnumber beds and that my sleepnumber is somewhere between 1-2, unfortunately, it doesn't go that low. Every time I got out of the bed my back was all kinked and I limped like an old woman into the bathroom because every sleep number I tried turned the bed into a freaking board.

We went to Fogo de Chao for dinner and it was amazing...I've never eaten so much meat in all my life (not a euphemism). They were particularly nice to us because they gave us a surprise 2nd anniversary flan...which we tried to cram into our bellies but there was just no room because I was full of filet mignon.

We left the restaurant and John seriously considered getting us a taxi to walk the 4 blocks that it would take for us to get back to the hotel because it hurt to walk--that's how full we were. Instead we decided to tough it out and we probably looked like the drunkest people in the world as we bobbled and weaved on the sidewalk (obviously it wasn't true...don't call CPS)...in fact we were just so stuffed that walking was tough. I may have been seen holding onto the sides of buildings for suppor/trying to propel my body towards the hotel.

We accidently taunted a woman in the park who was working for the local animal shelter. They have this program where they bring stray dogs that are up for adoption to the park for people to pet and play with and ultimately adopt. John and I had just finished lunch and I saw dogs...so like a five year old, I yelled "PUPPIES!" and then ran off to pet them (actually, I don't run so much anymore...totter is more accurate). John and I both fell in love with a brindled lovely and we petted her and talked with the lady and then stopped short of adopting the dog because we knew Frankie (our dog) is already jealous of our unborn spawn...she realy wouldn't stand sharing time with another dog! So we bolted--because we both wanted the dog but neither of us wanted to explain it to Frankie.

We went to the Phillies game and the boys won! We had a club box which is usually something I'm totally grateful for, because hey...free drinks and free food. Sticking with the free food and the AC because it was just about 3,000 degrees, I smashed food in my face as did John. Occasionally I raised my head from my plate to watch the game, but only occasionally. That night we paid for our gluttony...big time. At around 1:30 am we both were suffering from heartburn and so we ventured out on the town to the closest 24 hour CVS. As we clutched our chests, clad in our pjs and my awesome bedhead we passed our former selves on the streets...tons of good looking, well dressed drunkards fleeing bars and clubs as I held my pregnant belly and chest waddling next to John. My, my how things change.

I think this was the best anniversary so far! At least this time there were no drunken fights :)

It's a good thing to find a mate who deeply knows your passions...John definitely knows mine. For example, last year for our anniversary, he knew I loved to drink and he accomodated that very nicely. In fact, I'm not sure why we even went to Chicago because all we did was go from bar to bar! ha ha...

This year with drinking out of the question, he knew my other two favorite passions--fancy hotels and food. So while we're really not going too far for our mini-vacay/anniversary, we're going to have a fabulous time hanging out in some of our old haunts and stomping grounds. John hasn't been getting a lot of sex lately (that point of pregnancy hasn't really kicked in yet sadly) but he knows that I adore hotel sex more than anything. So it's no wonder that we'll be staying here. He also knows that my two favorite things to eat in the world are steak (filet wrapped in bacon to be more specific) and mashed potatoes so it's very clear that he picked the best restaurant to fit my needs. Clearly, I will not let my belly shyness get in the way of fulfilling his needs (which is why I thought this post required the "John the sex stallion" label...call it a premonition.

This week two years ago I was getting ready to go to Vegas and marry a man I had known for only about 7 months but whom I was madly in love with.

This week one year ago, Johnny and I were celebrating our anniversary in Chicago by drinking our faces off...warm champagne did me in.

This week, we celebrate our two year anniversary, as I sit here, 19 weeks pregnant, and reading over the blog I realize how much the two of us have grown. This year we had to put our noses down and really try to kill off debt. But I think we managed to have plenty of fun together (although I'm sure John can't remember the last time he had fun with me...being pregnant has taken some of my fun quotient away...I've become more of a fat hermit if you will). So, here were a few posts from the year that reminded me that we will always be better together.

Playing hooky... from work to snuggle.

First sex tape together... perhaps some of the angles weren't so flattering, but it was still fun.

The endless game nights in the effort to stop giving the bars all of our hard earned cash...obviously, the game nights didn't stop me from drinking myself silly.

Turning normal Thanksgiving leftovers into a sexperience...

We all learned that John's a sock monster...

Before April, we played all the drunken wii that's fit to be played, although the post doesn't reflect that, we played drunken wii all the time.

Now we're pregnant , probably our biggest growing experience together...especially me, I really miss my waist.

If nothing else from this post, I've learned that I've been a pretty bad blogger this year because I know we did some pretty hilarious things this year but they're all still in blogger drafts. I promise to try and do better--there are some real gems in there.

oh my, I've never had such a shiny new toy as the new iphone. Words can't express how much I love it. I bought a matching set for John and I for our impending anniversary...and now I fear we'll never talk to each other again because we'll be too busy playing with our gizmos.

PS. A matching set requires being in line twice...for a total of 4.5 hours. That's true love right there.

For our first anniversary, John and I went to Chicago for a few days, and now we're back...le sigh. I want to be on vacation all the time. I can't think of a fancy schmancy way of doing it so, here goes:

Day 1- We left the house without a hitch, including instructions for the dog who I kept trying to figure out a way to fit her in my bag. Unfortunately, I could not. We managed to pack tiny little bags chock full of stuff and didn't forget a thing--in fact, I think I packed about 20 outfits for four days. Of course, I gave John the "Lady of America" gym bag to pack his stuff in. I didn't alert him to the pink embroidery until we were boarding the plane. I thought it was nice of me to tell him at all, really.
Arriving early (wow! our lucky day!!), we checked our bags at the front desk (our room wasn't ready) and headed off to find a local bar to get ideas as to what to do over the next couple of days from some locals. I'm so glad that John and I don't plan our itinerary minute for minute... it's much more fun with just general ideas. Our bartender was super helpful and sweet, since he cut us a huge break on our check and lots of ideas scrawled all over our little map. With ideas in mind we left the bar, grabbed a few bottles of champagne and a bottle of Jameson (it was our anniversary, remember?!?) and headed back to our room. What is it about hotels and vacations that equal the most fabulous sex?? I don't know, but I'm half tempted to sell the house and move like a nomad from one hotel to another for life! After toasting many times and drinking numerous glasses of champagne we headed out (and no John, I'm not forgetting our little skit we worked up as we attempted to figure out how you have the "talk" with your kid, I just don't even know how to put it into words--it was just too funny!). Most of this night I can skip...it wasn't one of our finer moments as a bickering couple (particularly in public), and on our anniversary day no less! But it was resolved quickly enough and we shared a tasty meal in the city we were to inhabit for a few days. And I don't know if it was the alcohol but I ate a few pieces of John's tuna steak and loved it. This is a big break through...I haven't eaten fish since my dad stopped making me at 18 because in my mind, fish is yucky. See? John's good for me...expanding my horizons and such.

Day 2- I call this the day I walked the urban jungle. We got up nicely late...for me this is 10 am. I think I let him sleep until about 11. This was my concession to John since this was really his vacation from work. I've been on vacation for many weeks and I've had many days to sleep in, this was his turn. We headed out and before long it was lunch time. With our local bartender's suggestion in hand we set out on our quest. It was then that we discovered the joy that is deep dish Chicago pizza. Mighty tasty. With food in our bellies, we began our serious walking tour...oh. my. god. I can't tell you all the places that we went because we walked just about everywhere. I remember going to Millennium Park, I remember seeing the Bean...I loved the Bean. I did not love the squat image that the Bean reflected of me and that John captured with the (disposable) camera (that you'll hear more about later)...but you can't win every battle can you? We walked down to the river and followed its meander through the city, it was one of the beautiful things we witnessed that day. It's a shame that I haven't had a chance to purchase a new digital camera...sigh. I mentioned this to John and he quickly ran to accommodate his princess by getting a disposable camera. Being the brat that I am--I was too sweaty, too tired and had no pockets to put the camera. I thanked him, but left him to do the photography. We didn't capture much. But the camera was much appreciated John, really, it was.

We walked and walked until my knuckles were dragging on the ground and John was begging to get on a boat tour just to sit down. This suggestion fell on deaf ears, I looked at him and said, "Where is that boat going to take me that my feet haven't already??" He agreed with me and so we paused at a picnic table where we both laid down like we had walked 1000 miles. Seriously folks, I no longer believe in the Proclaimers. I don't know what the deal is with the heat/humidity in Chicago but it is certainly a different beast than here in Pennsylvania. Right now it's a sweltering 90-some degrees with 84% humidity. My hair is curling in little snarls and yet it's still more comfortable than it was in Chicago. You Chicagoans are amazing with the way you handle heat. I melted into a puddle while some girl walked by me wearing a 3/4 length sleeved shirt!! But I digress with my story...
We went to the Navy Pier, walked around a bit and then headed home to rest a bit. After laying on our bed for awhile, and showering we went down for a little dinner. When we actually sat down for dinner I ended up with the largest prime rib I've ever seen in my life...seriously, I had a half a cow on my plate! After six bites, I had to declare defeat and take a calffie bag (that's like a doggie bag, only bigger) home with me. John might have wanted to go out after dinner but unfortunately, I sunk into a deep food coma. Apparently it was that night that he got to see all the sexy shows on HBO (the best of Taxi Cab Confessions)...I don't believe him, because every time I turned on the TV it was My Super Ex Girlfriend. (if you're wondering why this is even relevant, it's because we don't have HBO at home so any down time had us either jumping each other or soaking in whatever HBO had to offer us).
...to be continued
Day 3 and 4 tomorrow.

Don't worry, it's not that kind of letter.

Dear John,
We will have been married for a year in two days. How can that be?? Some days I feel like I've known you forever! You have become my very best friend and I love every minute that I get to spend with you. I learn more and more about you every day and I love celebrating the small triumphs of this first year--home renovations (you've done some really impressive things!), both of us getting recognized at our respective jobs for doing well and simply meshing our separate lives together. The best part of my day is lying next to you, being spooned and held tightly as we both drift off to sleep. Never in my life have I loved this deeply, this happily and I thank you for that.

My favorite memories of our first year together:
1. Our trip to Vegas was soo much fun. Of course, it's a fond memory because that's where we got married but also because it was our first vacation together. I loved sipping pina coladas in the pool with you, watching you win with a single dollar on the slot machine, and seeing all the sights.

2. Our reception at home. It was everything I ever wanted. I had the man I loved by my side, a lovely dress, the best song list ever created (Oh how much we worked on that thing! It was completely worth it!) and every friend and family member who we bewildered with our shockingly quick engagement/plans to marry that I could've possibly wanted. Again, I would've never change a second of it. I'm glad that we didn't waste time with a long engagement. I fell in love with you quickly and I was amazed (and blessed) that you caught on to the plan and fell in love with me too. I look at my ring and see the inscription and smile...because I love spending every day of my life with you.

3. All of our random nights in our basement, particularly the first couple of months after you moved in. It was so fun, getting tipsy (and/or drunk) and singing all of our favorite songs together at the top of our lungs. In the basement we've talked about everything: music, books we've been reading, our pasts, and our future together. We snuggle up with the dog and love her up and of course, our clothes usually end up together in a heap on the carpet. You know I love that!

4. The night you tied me up. I don't really need to go into graphic detail but it was three hours where you focused almost entirely on me. Three hours! I still get chills when I think about that night.

5. This might sound strange but even our fights have been good. I say this because we've never really managed to stay mad at each other for very long and we've always been pretty respectful and apologetic towards each other. Each of us owning up to what we've done wrong and each of us remaining communicative and responsive as to how to fix whatever it was that started the disagreement in the first place. I think this is one of our greatest strengths and it will serve us well for a long time in the future.

6. Your birthday, which we spent in NYC. A weekend getaway which was too short because it was wonderful. I loved traipsing around the city with you, staring up at the tall buildings, giving each other roses, popping in and out of shops, and braving the icy cold winds and our freezing cold ears. Having the opportunity to go to a quiet restaurant for your birthday where I had you all to myself...unlike the previous night where you had me cracking up when you celebrated with our friends and your mom.

7. My surprise birthday party. Only a man who loved me would call all my friends and get everyone to dress like pirates. Whenever I see your sailor picture, I smile a little more. You are absolutely adoreable.

8. Any time I get to spend with you is my favorite time. You always have me laughing, smiling and feeling lucky that I married such an interesting, smart and caring man. Thank you. And I love you to pieces.

Love Always,
Me

John, what are some of your favorite memories of this year???

***Wednesday we're going away for our anniversary so the blog will be a little quiet for the rest of the week! Talk to you all when we get back!!!***

First things first...I am an aunt! It was quite a long labor but my sister in law was a trooper. After over 30 hours of full fledged labor and not a whole lot of effacing they decided to give her a C-section. The baby is a tiny (!) replica of her mother--perfect little nose, dusky skin, she has the same full mouth as her mother and her Uncle John--she's amazing.

Ok, on with my own story.

Last year on Graduation Day, John gave me my engagement ring...true I already accepted his offer (although, I think it was my offer first), without a ring. Three weeks after he proposed he slipped my ring onto my finger after I had come home from my scholastic festivities.

This year on Graduation Day as I was slipping out the door, I received a text message from John which read, "Did you leave yet?" and "Can you wait?" after I responded that I was on my way out of the door. I agreed to wait, more than a little curious. I didn't have long to wait. As his car rounded the corner of our neighborhood, his window came down and he gently tossed a little blue box tied up with white ribbon into my hands. "Oh Tiffany's" I thought to myself a little giddy and a whole lot greedy. I ripped open the box (I mean, I gently untied the ribbon) and nestled inside the black velvet box was a white gold square band that I had recently pointed out that I liked because it was so unique. I finally got my wedding ring. You see, I hadn't found a ring I had liked when we were engaged because my engagement ring is so modern looking so it took me about a year to finally settle on something...a funny thing to say from a woman who got married 7 months after she started dating her husband, huh?

In other romantic news, John also informed me that we will be spending our first anniversary in Chicago!! Hopefully we'll get to see a game, eat a pizza and who knows, maybe we'll even hit the Warped Tour since it happens to be in town when we are. Although, it will be here at home, when we get back...so who knows?!? By the way,who wouldn't marry this guy as quickly as they could?

I think I might be the best wife ever...

John's been having a rough time at work lately--I mean, you know, with a four hour commute a day wearing on him and all (I think he's just being a whiner...KIDDING!). On top of hating battling the highways and bypasses that don't bypass a damn thing, our house is in major flux.

John's a neatness and organization expert. He actually made me pick out four spoons that I really "liked" (because I have mixed sets) and that was all I got. He removed my clutter for me...I need it. He also helped me clean out my car, which hasn't been cleaned out in over 2 years! Yeah, this is the kind of disorganization that he has to deal with on a daily basis...I like to collect clutter. He's actually gently easing me into a more streamlined lifestyle.

Well because of our current housemates; ER, his girfriend, his dog, my friend E's cat and our own dog and ALL of our stuff crammed in here, this isn't quite John's ideal situation. So...

I bought him a BRAND NEW TV...but not just any TV. I got this (Disclaimer: That's not me!)

Yes ladies, I think the bar just got raised. *patting myself on the back*

It will be titled, 52 subtitled...How I Got Married in Under 52 Weeks...sub-sub titled It May Not Work for You Because John and I Totally Rock

(I may leave off the sub-sub...don't want to look too pretentious,right?)

Each chapter will be a "step"...a step in which we did something right, or did something wrong. Let me map out my book for y'all. All of the embarassing steps are steps that I might leave out if I were you, or anyone trying to make the long trek to love.

Step 1- Make Your Boy Believe You're Cool- For example: I told John that I would be in Philly on a random Tuesday for tacos (by the way, the anniversary for this fateful first hangout--not quite a date--was last night! Whoo! I wish I could say I did something clever like make tacos for dinner, but alas, I thought of it right before I drifted off to Nodsville). I never went to the city, I didn't have the money or the coolness to actually be roaming the city on worknights but...I sure did send him a text message saying where I was going to be and that he should meet up with me. His reply, "Will you be wearing pigtails?" Sadly, I forgot to put them in that night. I learned from my mistake.

Step 2- Stay Away From the Phone- I flirted with that boy hardcore over text messages only. I knew that my kryptonite was my telephone banter. I'm fun, I'm witty...on the phone there's lots of silence and small talk...very, very uncomfortable small talk. Mistake I learned from this? Text messages are often ambiguous and as much as I thought I was flirting with him, there were times when he had no idea what I was talking about...and like-wise with him.

Step 3-Ask Him Out On a Date- (before someone else can)- I'm not going to deny that I was instantly intrigued by ol' Johnnyboy, and who wouldn't be? He's good looking, he's smart, he's super sexy and he has the softest lips that have ever touched mine (although I didn't know it at the time, I suspected that they were sooooft). So what's a girl to do? Sit around? Wait for a call? The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You would say yes. I would give a definitive, "No." If you were looking for a job, and you saw the most ideal position in the classifieds would you sit around and wait for them to call you? Perhaps...but you wouldn't get the job. In this case, I probably wouldn't have intrigued John into putting his suede soft lips upon mine.

Embarassing Step 4-Go Out Without Knowing that Your "Friend" is Going to Show Up- In a strange turn of events, I somehow got my period four days early. Unfortunately for me, I got that "friend" (who appears to be somwhat of a showboating jerk of a friend) mid sex the morning after our first sex. So basically I'm saying, the second time I had sex with John, I imprinted into his memory a bloody crime scene. Not that you couldn't guess this but...it wasn't hot. In fact, after he left, I sat on the edge of the bed and cried, thinking that I would never get to see that penis (I mean, the sweethearted man) again.

Semi-embarassing Step 5- Be Very Bold- So, say you're me. You've had crime scene sex with a man, he still seems interested in you...you've apologized multiple times and he seems actually sympathetic! Yeah! He's quite a catch (and remains so, to this very moment)! So say, you get asked on a second date, this time on his turf...you have to pull out the stops. He already knows that you like sex and you've found out his little turn ons like knee socks, pigtails and Jameson Irish Whiskey. You MUST do something with this knowledge.
In this case, I showed up promptly at seven most likely looking like I was trying too hard in knee highs (hidden under my jeans as a little surprise/in case he didn't want to take my pants off, he didn't know I did it), with long low pigtails with bangs sweeping across my forehead and a small bottle of whiskey to present him when he opened the door. Luckily, in my case, after the first glass of whiskey, he took my pants off in the kitchen and appreciated everything that I had done to "prepare" for the date. Ah...but I was heading to hookup material here only, wasn't I? Being a trollop doesn't often pay off...even though I would say that I wasn't being a trollop, I was being me and enjoying life...anyways...how to fix that issue??

Semi-embarassing/I don't think I actually did this-Step 6- Be Brazen- After the kitchen sex we went out for dinner. It was all incredibly exciting for a country bumpkin like me. We didn't go anywhere fancy, we just went to a place that had scrumptious food and was well known to the city folk. Apparently, John told me that he had other dates lined up...kind of like telling me..."Hey, we can hook up, but I'm not saying I'm not hooking up with others." Apparently, I asked him to cancel said dates and to date me exclusively because I only wanted to date him and (the and is what I think saved me, because I sounded like a confident woman, and not a needy one) "that I didn't have time to wait around and see if he wanted to date me or not." I believe that I said it, because I can pull of the dating bravado necessary for such a statement.

More steps and flubs from the past year later...I don't want to overwhelm you with my (lack of) awesomeness just yet. John, if you get bored at work (which I know you're overwhelmed right now so don't worry), you can add your two cents to this post.

Last year at this time, I was frantically getting off of work and running to the mall to find T and myself something stunning to wear out. We were excited, we were getting out of town on the biggest bar night of the year...how far out of town? Not far at all...but we still managed to call it the Far Away Bar. I remember being at the mall and trying to find an outfit and then thinking to myself, "What's the point, I'm not going to be meeting anyone anyways" but somehow I still managed to purchase a cool black drapy tanktop that had silver mesh at the top that met in a V on my chest. Being as poor as I was last year, I had to wear a black tuxedo jacket over top of the shirt because I had to leave the tags on i...I knew as soon as the night was over, it was going back.
Because I never drove anywhere last year since my location was just too close to thitwbar, I offered to have a sober Thanksgiving Eve and drive T around...that notion even shocked the hell out of me, but it was more important to me to make sure that my friend had a fun, and safe time. As it turned out, my decision was best, because it was the first snowfall that night as well!

We got to the bar and I described the whole evening like this...
That was the night I met John. I was there for all two hours and only about twenty minutes while he was there. He was one of the "cute boys" that we regretted leaving the bar because, but he (and all the other cuties) was only a minor footnote in the blogpost (which is really awful and I must've had nothing to write about) because I never expected to hang out with him again...he was living in the city, I had heard that he had " girlfriend problems" (which I later learned first hand about sadly) so I chalked the experience up to this--I took his picture with T (John dated T's old best friend at one point), I sat across from them for about ten minutes while they caught up, I was introduced and then we left. I asked T on the way out, "Who was the guy with the hot guy with the cane?" (hot guy with the cane=John's old roommate) and she said, "Him? That's John. He's really cool, but he's not your type." In my head I questioned, what was my type these days? Jerks, losers, ex-boyfriends? At this point I was well into my man ban and had been sex free for about two, close to three months...I was trying "to get my shit together so I could figure out what I actually wanted in a man besides sex"...holy shit, who knew that Man Bans actually work? (Amber probably does,but she's a smarty pants)

I never mentioned him again to T until we hung out with him and Tony randomly one December night and then I said to her the next morning after he dropped us off at home, "He's kinda sexy." She gave me a look, "You think so? I wouldn't think he'd be your type."
But quite frankly it had taken everything in me not throw the poor boy on the ground and have my way with him...but of course, he's mentioned as a footnote again in the blog because I didn't want anyone to think I was obsessing about him or starting my "crazy talk"...in the back of my mind though, he was there.

And now John's mine all mine.
So this Thanksgiving, I'm giving thanks that I got to meet John that snowy night at a bar I never go to...and John's probably cursing the evening and all of tenaciousness that followed :)