At exactly 3pm tomorrow afternoon I'm officially done with teaching for the summer.  I am both elated and terrified. Elated because, yay! this has been the hardest year for me (worse than even my first year of teaching).We got a new curriculum, new textbook, I had a baby, you know--the usual!  

Terrified because although I love my child, I only really spend nights and weekends with him.  Basically, he's like a really cool cell phone with a really shitty plan.  So, as of Tuesday I get to be a mom and really hang out with my child but in the back of my head I keep thinking, "What the hell are we going to do together from 6 am to 7:30 pm?!?"  I guess we'll figure it out and I have a feeling that this might just jump start the blog as I try to stay sane.

Every year (well...we've only had two wedding anniversaries but...)John and I go to a different city for our anniversary and do a little sight seeing but mostly we go to get drunk in a city foreign to us. Shocking but true, John and I love to drink. I've always liked Carribean destinations myself but John has turned me into a city loving-vacationer because he fills me to the brim with _______ (insert liquor here...most likely, dirty gin martinis or lots of beer). I'm guessing that this year's drunkapolooza will not be able to go down as they have in the past because of our spawning (Oh child, why must you interfere with Mommy's drinking? ha ha...kidding), which on most occasions is cool but I guess I'm going to have to get my anniversary/drunkfest done in Clarion, PA this year when we're out at a wedding two weeks before our anniversary. I just did some research and there are about 7,000 people living in Clarion and the "sights" are hunting and maybe a little farmer's market action. I sense some VFW or hunting club drinking that weekend.

I am officially on Spring Break...

it isn't quite like the wet t-shirt contests, jello wrestling and drinking at six am on the beach filled Spring Breaks of the past (maybe my past, maybe not...I'll never tell)...but it feels just as good.

Well, vacation is winding quickly to a close. I don't have much to show for it except I probably gained ten pounds--I guess it was fun putting them on, but I'm sure it won't be fun taking them off. Where my break has been pretty quiet and mostly lazy (getting to read books, watch tons of movies and mindless TV) today has been nothing short of insanity and I've only been awake for a half hour.

You see, John and I are watching his brother's dog while he's celebrating NYE in North Carolina with some of his friends. My brother in law should've named this dog Naughty. He's adorable and tiny (and sounds like a little pig when he snorts and walks) but he is 100% bad! Already today he chased my poor dog around with a pillow which he was trying to smother her with. Seriously, I wouldn't believe it myself unless I had seen it. He woke me up by standing on my head and sniffing my ear. Then he puked on me. That typically gets a person out of bed. I have to hand it to him, it's an effective method for getting people to do what you want.

Now Sir Naughty is only 1/2 of the equation. Frankie doesn't like to share. She runs around and gathers up all her toys (my socks) holding about 12 in her mouth so that Naughty can't take them. She also feels the need to protect my lap from being laid in by the other dog. Frankie isn't a lap dog, Naughty is. So instead of a 15 lb dog nestled in my lap, I have a 55 lb dog snoring on me as we speak. Because they (Naughty stealing stuff and Frankie trying to take it all back from him) run around here at a breakneck speed carrying around CDs, empty cigaratte boxes, lighters, candles and/or anything else they can fit within their drooping jowls every fifteen minutes or so my lap turns into napzone and they squirm and struggle to see who's going to get the spot! I have to say that John would fight for my lap too, it's a nice place to be. And just as quickly chaos ensued, I have two dogs spooning on my lap snoring loudly. And you know what they say about sleeping dogs...
...you let them lie.
Because in a few short minutes we're going to be doing this whole routine all over again.

*edit*
Oh dear lord, I want these dogs to sleep for as long as humanly/caninely possible but Naughty needs some kind of Beano and I need some form of gas mask. This is cruel and unusual punishment.

Geez...I had a to dust off the keyboard before typing, it's been that long!!
vacation has been glorious so far, I think I'm crossing the halfway point now and I never want it to end. However, just like life, vacations have their highs and lows. Let me explain in list form:

1. Thursday evening officially marked John's holiday break...for some reason, I thought I'd celebrate too. After a few rum and pineapple juices (daiquiris if you will...John's been reading a lot of Fitzgerald lately and daiquiris are anything that are rum based mixed with fruit juices, he's trying to bring it back--don't ask me why), I had a glass of Jameson and we played lots of Trivial Pursuit and sang to music. You can imagine my excitement when I got up at 6 the next morning. It reminded me of the good old days and why I don't like drinking during the week.

2. I came home from work on Friday and the house was full of deliciousness. On John's day off, he cleaned and he made me my favorite dinner! MMMMM! This is why I'm keeping him. More drunken Trivia Pursuit ensued (hey, it's a cheap yet fun entertainment...plus our local, hometown bar is closed for the entire holiday). I made John giggle with some drunken dirty talk...it was pretty funny, good thing he didn't start laughing until it was all over.

3. Saturday was the laziest day we had. We laid on the couch, did some grocery shopping and watched bad movies (namely, Hatchet, John didn't even make it through that one). We also had dinner where we were outnumbered by pregnant people, and toddlers.

4. Sunday we lounged. Then John took me to lunch since I've been salivating over commercials of shrimp. I believe at one point I said that I wanted my teeth removed and replaced with baline so that I could just guzzle shrimp down by the dozen at a time. I know, I know...what a dream to have!! Then we went out to see our friends down at the FQB. There we were on a mission to catch a buzz because our drunken friends had been there since 2 pm. We started with White Russians, switched over to shots of blackberry vodka and coke, more dark rum and pineapple, a shot of SoCo and lime, and then finally switching to a single beer and a shrug...we were well beyond our budget for the evening and well behind everyone else in the bar who were at this point posing with a giant blow up penis. Ah the holidays, so festive!

5. Monday was the low point in my vacation. It started off great...in keeping with our "drink lots of alcohol theme" of the holiday, John whipped up some vodka, cranberry and sprites for us and we sat and watched Die Hard, which John has declared to be his favorite "holiday movie ever". After a few of these drinks I started to feel not so good. In fact, only three of them had me on my knees praying for death. That "warm and fuzzy feeling stayed with me for hours...it wasn't until about 8 pm that I was able to actually keep food down. Unfortunately, this is the same amount of time I got to spend with T, as I ran back and forth to the bathroom. This little exchange though almost got me strangled.
(John comes back into the house after he ran out saying he was going "to get me something")
John: I brought you Wendy's, you need to something!
Me: I was hoping you got me Pepto Bismol or something... (as I greedily took my sandwich)
John: (tries to keep his hands from my neck) I'll run back out...
Me: No, I'll be ok, this sandwich should help...
I take three bites and fall asleep.

Needless to say, I had a lot of damage control to do on Christmas morning!! I'll stop off here for now.

For our first anniversary, John and I went to Chicago for a few days, and now we're back...le sigh. I want to be on vacation all the time. I can't think of a fancy schmancy way of doing it so, here goes:

Day 1- We left the house without a hitch, including instructions for the dog who I kept trying to figure out a way to fit her in my bag. Unfortunately, I could not. We managed to pack tiny little bags chock full of stuff and didn't forget a thing--in fact, I think I packed about 20 outfits for four days. Of course, I gave John the "Lady of America" gym bag to pack his stuff in. I didn't alert him to the pink embroidery until we were boarding the plane. I thought it was nice of me to tell him at all, really.
Arriving early (wow! our lucky day!!), we checked our bags at the front desk (our room wasn't ready) and headed off to find a local bar to get ideas as to what to do over the next couple of days from some locals. I'm so glad that John and I don't plan our itinerary minute for minute... it's much more fun with just general ideas. Our bartender was super helpful and sweet, since he cut us a huge break on our check and lots of ideas scrawled all over our little map. With ideas in mind we left the bar, grabbed a few bottles of champagne and a bottle of Jameson (it was our anniversary, remember?!?) and headed back to our room. What is it about hotels and vacations that equal the most fabulous sex?? I don't know, but I'm half tempted to sell the house and move like a nomad from one hotel to another for life! After toasting many times and drinking numerous glasses of champagne we headed out (and no John, I'm not forgetting our little skit we worked up as we attempted to figure out how you have the "talk" with your kid, I just don't even know how to put it into words--it was just too funny!). Most of this night I can skip...it wasn't one of our finer moments as a bickering couple (particularly in public), and on our anniversary day no less! But it was resolved quickly enough and we shared a tasty meal in the city we were to inhabit for a few days. And I don't know if it was the alcohol but I ate a few pieces of John's tuna steak and loved it. This is a big break through...I haven't eaten fish since my dad stopped making me at 18 because in my mind, fish is yucky. See? John's good for me...expanding my horizons and such.

Day 2- I call this the day I walked the urban jungle. We got up nicely late...for me this is 10 am. I think I let him sleep until about 11. This was my concession to John since this was really his vacation from work. I've been on vacation for many weeks and I've had many days to sleep in, this was his turn. We headed out and before long it was lunch time. With our local bartender's suggestion in hand we set out on our quest. It was then that we discovered the joy that is deep dish Chicago pizza. Mighty tasty. With food in our bellies, we began our serious walking tour...oh. my. god. I can't tell you all the places that we went because we walked just about everywhere. I remember going to Millennium Park, I remember seeing the Bean...I loved the Bean. I did not love the squat image that the Bean reflected of me and that John captured with the (disposable) camera (that you'll hear more about later)...but you can't win every battle can you? We walked down to the river and followed its meander through the city, it was one of the beautiful things we witnessed that day. It's a shame that I haven't had a chance to purchase a new digital camera...sigh. I mentioned this to John and he quickly ran to accommodate his princess by getting a disposable camera. Being the brat that I am--I was too sweaty, too tired and had no pockets to put the camera. I thanked him, but left him to do the photography. We didn't capture much. But the camera was much appreciated John, really, it was.

We walked and walked until my knuckles were dragging on the ground and John was begging to get on a boat tour just to sit down. This suggestion fell on deaf ears, I looked at him and said, "Where is that boat going to take me that my feet haven't already??" He agreed with me and so we paused at a picnic table where we both laid down like we had walked 1000 miles. Seriously folks, I no longer believe in the Proclaimers. I don't know what the deal is with the heat/humidity in Chicago but it is certainly a different beast than here in Pennsylvania. Right now it's a sweltering 90-some degrees with 84% humidity. My hair is curling in little snarls and yet it's still more comfortable than it was in Chicago. You Chicagoans are amazing with the way you handle heat. I melted into a puddle while some girl walked by me wearing a 3/4 length sleeved shirt!! But I digress with my story...
We went to the Navy Pier, walked around a bit and then headed home to rest a bit. After laying on our bed for awhile, and showering we went down for a little dinner. When we actually sat down for dinner I ended up with the largest prime rib I've ever seen in my life...seriously, I had a half a cow on my plate! After six bites, I had to declare defeat and take a calffie bag (that's like a doggie bag, only bigger) home with me. John might have wanted to go out after dinner but unfortunately, I sunk into a deep food coma. Apparently it was that night that he got to see all the sexy shows on HBO (the best of Taxi Cab Confessions)...I don't believe him, because every time I turned on the TV it was My Super Ex Girlfriend. (if you're wondering why this is even relevant, it's because we don't have HBO at home so any down time had us either jumping each other or soaking in whatever HBO had to offer us).
...to be continued
Day 3 and 4 tomorrow.

John gets home from work and while we're munching on dinner (I'm becoming a good cook, yo!) I tell him, "Oh my god John, I watched the saddest movie today!" because let's be honest, aside from laying out, my day wasn't all that exciting. He said, "Oh yeah? Which movie?" I replied, "Dear Frankie". He said, "Why was it so sad? What's it about?"

And so, with tears welling in my eyes as I thought back to the movie, and I carefully told him in about ten minutes all about the movie. As I wiped a single tear away, I waited for him to mock me for loving such an obvious chick flick. Instead, he says, "Wow, you tell the worst stories!" and he laughed at me. He laughed! I became indignant, "You asked what the movie was about, so I told you!"

"M, I asked for a synopsis of the story...I doubt you'd find all of what you said on the back of the box!" And then the smartass picked up the case and pretended to read my "long synopsis" on the back of the case. Then he turned to me and said, "Do you think we can get you to pretend to read the back and you could just retell the plot and I can video tape it?"

What a db...I liked it better when he wanted to film me naked.

PS. I'm not mocking Native Americans, I'm mocking this poorly made commercial.

First things first...I am an aunt! It was quite a long labor but my sister in law was a trooper. After over 30 hours of full fledged labor and not a whole lot of effacing they decided to give her a C-section. The baby is a tiny (!) replica of her mother--perfect little nose, dusky skin, she has the same full mouth as her mother and her Uncle John--she's amazing.

Ok, on with my own story.

Last year on Graduation Day, John gave me my engagement ring...true I already accepted his offer (although, I think it was my offer first), without a ring. Three weeks after he proposed he slipped my ring onto my finger after I had come home from my scholastic festivities.

This year on Graduation Day as I was slipping out the door, I received a text message from John which read, "Did you leave yet?" and "Can you wait?" after I responded that I was on my way out of the door. I agreed to wait, more than a little curious. I didn't have long to wait. As his car rounded the corner of our neighborhood, his window came down and he gently tossed a little blue box tied up with white ribbon into my hands. "Oh Tiffany's" I thought to myself a little giddy and a whole lot greedy. I ripped open the box (I mean, I gently untied the ribbon) and nestled inside the black velvet box was a white gold square band that I had recently pointed out that I liked because it was so unique. I finally got my wedding ring. You see, I hadn't found a ring I had liked when we were engaged because my engagement ring is so modern looking so it took me about a year to finally settle on something...a funny thing to say from a woman who got married 7 months after she started dating her husband, huh?

In other romantic news, John also informed me that we will be spending our first anniversary in Chicago!! Hopefully we'll get to see a game, eat a pizza and who knows, maybe we'll even hit the Warped Tour since it happens to be in town when we are. Although, it will be here at home, when we get back...so who knows?!? By the way,who wouldn't marry this guy as quickly as they could?

The beginning of my summer vacation started with lots of promise. I was going to clean, I was going to exercise (a lot...it's highly needed) and I was going to lay out and read a book. Things seem to just be going horribly wrong.

On the cleaning front- the vacuum doesn't seem to want to suck, except at life. I raise my fist at all vacuums, they seem to die long before their time. Luckily, I have 90,000 loads of laundry to do, so I'm focusing on that task. Mountains of laundry are getting laundered and I'm working on remembering where all these clothes actually go. I must make every effort to do a better job at keeping a clean house because my Mother in Law said to John on the phone the other day, "If Melina wants to learn how to clean this summer, I'd be happy to show her how" which made me cry and also made me angry. So, a slave to cleaning I will become.

On the exercise front- well...the eliptical machine is tucked off in the corner from lack of use/people moving in and and out of here etc. The rub? I can't lift it away from the corner and I can't get on it as it is against the wall. Grr. This one is frustrating!

On the lay out/read a book front- I went to buy a new book, I couldn't find one that peaked my interest to save my life. I looked around for a book but then became annoyed and left in a huff. There sure is a lot of crap on the shelves for sale these days. Plus the sun keeps coming and and out of the clouds...also a grrrr.

My attention span is nil today...but remind me to write about my new wedding ring and my anniversary gift from John!