This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Thursday, June 26, 2008
Far From Therapeutic
My friend Tara just began seeing a therapist, I don't think she'd mind me telling you because you don't know her. When she came back from her first appointment I asked her how it went and she told me the following:

Tara: Well, she's a lot older than I expected her to be...

Me: I guess that could be good, she's experienced and wise or whatever...

Tara: No, you don't get it. She started to fall asleep while I was talking!

Me: (gasping laughter that I can't control) What did you do?

Tara: I yelled loudly, "Are you OK?"

Me: That worked right?

Tara: For a little. She apologized and blamed it on new medication.

Me: Right....the old medication trick, and well she could've just blamed it on the fact that she was old! That's what she should've done.

Tara: Well...that made her explain to me that she needed to eat. So she whipped out crackers and Easy Cheese while I continued talking about my problems.

Me: What?!? What's wrong with this old bag?

Tara: I don't know, but she did offer me a cracker while she was spraying on her cheese!

Me: Were you just dying of laughter? Did you take a cracker and cheese? I would've I love Easy Cheese!

Tara: No I didn't take a cracker! I just wanted to get out of there. I mean, here I am spilling intimate details of my life and the lady is just dining and napping on my dime!

Me: Are you going to go back? I kinda think you have to go back to see what she's going to do next. Maybe she'll iron? Play Solitaire? Look at porn on the Internet?

Tara: I don't know. I want to go back but I don't know if I'll leave her living if she whips out the hor d'oerves again.

Me: Just think, I'm constantly eating when you tell me your problems...and I used to be drunk most of the time too, just pretend you're talking to a really old, hungry drunk version of me.

Tara: I can do that.

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posted by Melina at 9:35 AM