I want to eat all of the meatballs in the world...
simultaneously, I want to puke constantly--and yet--I never do.

John and I go for our first appointment on Wednesday, we'll let you know what's going on with the Shrimp (if you care). I found out today that he's/she's the size of a green olive and it made me want a jar of them...and about a gallon of gin martinis...extra dirty (my first alcohol craving). Don't worry, I just sucked down the salty water the olives are floating in and let it run down my chin and trail down my (ginormous) breasts with reckless abandon (I'm not bragging...I'm stating a fact, they are large, but not freakish yet...I will keep updating their status because everyone cares about that). I kinda wish I was kidding.