15 things I've learned so far about pregnancy...
1. My bedtime is now any time that my body is laying on the couch. I fall asleep within seconds.
2. I've always hated avocados, the other day I had the most delicious thing in the whole world and the main ingredient? Ava-fucking-cados...go figure (if I start to like bananas my whole world will shift).
3. All those times when I thought I had a poochy stomach, I didn't have a poochy stomach...in fact, I think I had a supermodel-like stomach, now using hindsight. Right now it's just a bloated stomach...but poochy stomach is just around the bend.
4. That tattoo of the stupid Celtic knot that I got when I was a young impressionable undergrad??? Yeah, even dumber when it's situated on my pelvic bone. Looking forward to see how it transforms about as much as people were looking forward to the Titanic sinking.
5. I could eat Chicken Marsala, every. single. day.
6. Or Ramen Noodles...
7. Or pasta...
8. What does it mean when all I crave is pasta and bloody meat!!! I forgot to mention that I dream of steaks...vivid, vivid steak dreams (oh don't worry...I'm not eating anything rare but I really, really miss it).
9. I don't really miss alcohol that much (so far), especially when I see John wake up with a hangover. (I know, it shocks me too!)
10. On weekends without a hangover? I am PEPPY! and I get out of bed at the ungodly hour of 5 am. I really feel for John because I would hate myself too if I were hungover.
11. I miss my sex drive...I heard the second trimester is better in that department...it better be because this is just not normal. John was shocked when he learned that I haven't used my vibrator in a week...I'm going to have sex tonight, just to feel normal!!! (That's sexy isn't it?)
12. I like to cry at the drop of a hat. For example, John's a douchebag (I mean that with love Hon) and he woke me up the other night because "I was breathing on him" (seriously!) I started to cry because he woke me up...yep, I'm hormonal.
13. My boobs are ginormous and hard. The ginormous part is not as weird as the hard part...they are seriously mini boulders strapped to my chest.
14. My dreams are ridiculously awesome in their weirdness...the most recent ones involved Cylons (I haven't seen Battlestar Galactica since I was 5), a high school building and a friend drunk on a broomstick.
15. I could eat all day and all night...but I'm not...yet. Mostly because I want to look more like Leia than Jabba when this is all said and done (what? I'm married to John...I can use Star Wars analogies if I so choose).
2. I've always hated avocados, the other day I had the most delicious thing in the whole world and the main ingredient? Ava-fucking-cados...go figure (if I start to like bananas my whole world will shift).
3. All those times when I thought I had a poochy stomach, I didn't have a poochy stomach...in fact, I think I had a supermodel-like stomach, now using hindsight. Right now it's just a bloated stomach...but poochy stomach is just around the bend.
4. That tattoo of the stupid Celtic knot that I got when I was a young impressionable undergrad??? Yeah, even dumber when it's situated on my pelvic bone. Looking forward to see how it transforms about as much as people were looking forward to the Titanic sinking.
5. I could eat Chicken Marsala, every. single. day.
6. Or Ramen Noodles...
7. Or pasta...
8. What does it mean when all I crave is pasta and bloody meat!!! I forgot to mention that I dream of steaks...vivid, vivid steak dreams (oh don't worry...I'm not eating anything rare but I really, really miss it).
9. I don't really miss alcohol that much (so far), especially when I see John wake up with a hangover. (I know, it shocks me too!)
10. On weekends without a hangover? I am PEPPY! and I get out of bed at the ungodly hour of 5 am. I really feel for John because I would hate myself too if I were hungover.
11. I miss my sex drive...I heard the second trimester is better in that department...it better be because this is just not normal. John was shocked when he learned that I haven't used my vibrator in a week...I'm going to have sex tonight, just to feel normal!!! (That's sexy isn't it?)
12. I like to cry at the drop of a hat. For example, John's a douchebag (I mean that with love Hon) and he woke me up the other night because "I was breathing on him" (seriously!) I started to cry because he woke me up...yep, I'm hormonal.
13. My boobs are ginormous and hard. The ginormous part is not as weird as the hard part...they are seriously mini boulders strapped to my chest.
14. My dreams are ridiculously awesome in their weirdness...the most recent ones involved Cylons (I haven't seen Battlestar Galactica since I was 5), a high school building and a friend drunk on a broomstick.
15. I could eat all day and all night...but I'm not...yet. Mostly because I want to look more like Leia than Jabba when this is all said and done (what? I'm married to John...I can use Star Wars analogies if I so choose).
Labels: listy lists, pregnancy
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