This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Overheard at my sister in law's picnic...

The evening starts off casually enough, we're over at John's sister's house having dinner on the deck. They all have a few drinks in them and the conversation in on drugs. I start telling them about how the kids are now putting pills up their asses to heighten the drugs' effects...and that the kids even told me about it. Everyone is kind of dubious, but then John reminds them about how that one guy who couldn't drink anymore was giving himself Sherry enemas so that he could still get drunk. This is the conversation that followed.

Jason: Your sister gives me enemas all the time!

Everyone ignores this...and tries to move the topic to something "safer" than Jason's enema...but someone can't let it go.

Picnic goer: Well I'd to be careful because I have a hemorrhoid.
John (always eager to share when tipsy): I have a hemorrhoid!
John's Brother: You can get them from sitting on cold concrete..."
John: I had to take Preparation H in a suppository.
John'sBrother's GF: I had to use an anal suppository.
Me: Why?
John's Brother's GF: Because I have anal um...anal... canyons?
John Brother: What?!?
Me: I think you mean anal fissures.
John's Brother's GF: Yeah...that's right!
John's Brother: What?!?
John: I think you get them from...umm...
John's Brother: How come this is the first time I'm hearing about this?"
John's Brother's GF: Because I don't just tell everybody!
All of us: laugh hysterically

Enter John's sister

John to his sister: "You gave Jason an enema?!?"

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posted by Melina at 12:00 PM