This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Tuesday, May 20, 2008
John's drunken metal reviews
John was excited to see Headbanger's Ball on MTV2 now that we have fancy schmancy cable. Of course, I rolled my eyes. However, I should've been as happy as him because now I have something to blog about! So far we've watched only three videos (it's a freaking 3 hour Tivo extravaganza) and I've never laughed so hard in my life. Since I'm out of comission in the drinking department, I set John up with some whiskey and some cola and had him review this video for me. Here's what came out of his mouth. I typed as hard as I possibly could:
"Is that bald guy wearing assless chaps?"
"Uhhhh I hate this apple because it's going to rot because I have eye makeup on and I'm making a funny face at it!"
"That guy totally looks exactly like Christopher Lambert meets the Crow meets KISS and then gets his ass kicked"
"The assless chap guy is headbanging!"
"This would be Tobey from the Office's band"
"Ohhhh floating on water...."
"There can be only one assclown, and it is me!"
"Got any religious imagery to go with that drum kit?"
"Nice Gwar outfits!"
"We might be watching American Gladiators, I'm not sure..."
"Guys you shouldn't practice near open flame like that...guitar strings are metal and subject to heat."
"It looks like they're standing in the pillaged village from First Knight" (John said that...and I said, "I can't believe you remember that movie!"
"Whoa! Did you see that death confetti, I mean deathfetti...They probably call it cumfetti..."
"They all have moonboots on too..."
"Are they wearing goalie pads on their legs?"
"Ohhhh extreme beards"
"Oh a gothy angel with her wings ripped controversial..."
"We have to watch this with our kids just so they's not OK to watch this crap because we will make fun of you."

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posted by Melina at 8:18 PM