My life is perfect, but perfectly boring
So, I've been absent from the Internet for just about forever...that kind of sucks. I think about posting whenever John tells me I need a hobby--because blogging used to be my LIFE not just a hobby but I hesitate because my blog just isn't really fun anymore, mostly because my life really isn't that fun anymore.
I have an awesome husband, who I love so much and exasperate with my constant tears and/or violent verbal outbursts. I have an adorable son, who is just so perfect and wonderful. I have another (most likely just as) adorable son on the way and yet I am almost never happy and I have no real idea why.
Well, I kind of have an idea. I have no identity whatsoever anymore. I am a mom and a teacher--those are the two main identities I assume daily and there's really no time for anything else. From 8pm-10 pm I don't have any obligations (minus ignoring the grading that I need to do) and usually I just fall asleep on the couch. I haven't had my hair cut since the end of July. I haven't dyed it since 2008!!! Insanity! I used to get it done monthly, in various dark shades/highlights whatever. I don't really have time to put make up on. My clothes are hideous...the clothes I like, I can't wear because I'm pregnant and the clothes I have to wear are just plain ugly and more importantly, plain. I'm almost certain that the me from five years ago would've mocked the me of today. And with good reason.
I don't leave the house much, there's not much to do and anyways most of my friends are knee deep in tiny (not ready to be civilized) children too--so we're all living in self imposed lock down. Do I have friends anymore?? I'm not sure. And even if I could leave the house, what would I do?? I can only shop so much...I can only eat so much...Uggh, I just don't know. So my big question is--what do adults do for fun these days? And how can I make my life better? Any suggestions?
I have an awesome husband, who I love so much and exasperate with my constant tears and/or violent verbal outbursts. I have an adorable son, who is just so perfect and wonderful. I have another (most likely just as) adorable son on the way and yet I am almost never happy and I have no real idea why.
Well, I kind of have an idea. I have no identity whatsoever anymore. I am a mom and a teacher--those are the two main identities I assume daily and there's really no time for anything else. From 8pm-10 pm I don't have any obligations (minus ignoring the grading that I need to do) and usually I just fall asleep on the couch. I haven't had my hair cut since the end of July. I haven't dyed it since 2008!!! Insanity! I used to get it done monthly, in various dark shades/highlights whatever. I don't really have time to put make up on. My clothes are hideous...the clothes I like, I can't wear because I'm pregnant and the clothes I have to wear are just plain ugly and more importantly, plain. I'm almost certain that the me from five years ago would've mocked the me of today. And with good reason.
I don't leave the house much, there's not much to do and anyways most of my friends are knee deep in tiny (not ready to be civilized) children too--so we're all living in self imposed lock down. Do I have friends anymore?? I'm not sure. And even if I could leave the house, what would I do?? I can only shop so much...I can only eat so much...Uggh, I just don't know. So my big question is--what do adults do for fun these days? And how can I make my life better? Any suggestions?
Labels: #2, babies, john's a saint, midlife crisis?, my life is boring
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