Things that have made me laugh this week. Hard.
1. I came home the other day to find that ER's puppy (John's brother), had found my family size bottle of Elmer's White Glue...now why they make a family sized version and why I have it? It's all a mystery to me too! What happened though, was no mystery. Norman (the puppy who looks similar to this but much cuter) decided to chew open the glue and spread it all over himself and my poor tortured dog Frankie. Frankie looked at me as if to say, "Why did you do this to me? Why are you forsaking me?" And then she looked at me with menace and I swore if she could talk she would've said, "Get out of my sight before I have to cut a bitch!"
2. John and I wanted a little alone time together since John's brother is living with us for the rest of the month until his apartment is ready for him. The only place where you can be alone in our small house without looking anti-social is the bathroom...so we took a shower together. It's something that we used to all the time, but you see our bathtub is absolutely tiny...like almost as small as this. So, whenever we switch places to get closer to actual water there is brief moment when I feel like I'm playing the world's most deadly game of Twister...particularly when John drops the soap (insert prison joke here) and makes the bottom of the tub that much slicker. Seriously, if he didn't love me and if I wasn't worth like .35 cents dead, I'd almost think that he was trying to kill me.
3. My friend who is getting married this summer wrote me an email about how much she detests bra shopping but that she should probably purchase a " few new bras as she's going into this marriage." For some reason that just really tickled me. I'm wondering what state her brassieres are in right now...
4. I was talking with my friends over lunch and my one friend told me that her husband doesn't like the DIY version of This Old House because it's too commercialized and "sexy"...he misses the old PBS versions. He also likes The Deadliest Catch too, which I think is hilarious because if you've seen one episode, you've seen them all. Here let me catch you up. "Oh geez, it's really, really cold out here!" "Oh my gosh! We might get swept overboard!" "Holy crap! There aren't any crabs in the trap! We MUST STOP OVER FISHING...well, except for this time!" And that's my interpretation of the Deadliest Catch.
One thing that doesn't make me laugh hard? John took off for the rest of the week so that means that he's off today through Monday...it makes me want to stab him in the eye with a spoon as I get ready for work. However, since I'm a benevolent soul, I guess he can take off since he has to watch me lounge around work-free/carefree ALL summer!!!
I'm sure there are other things...but I'll be damned if I can remember!
2. John and I wanted a little alone time together since John's brother is living with us for the rest of the month until his apartment is ready for him. The only place where you can be alone in our small house without looking anti-social is the bathroom...so we took a shower together. It's something that we used to all the time, but you see our bathtub is absolutely tiny...like almost as small as this. So, whenever we switch places to get closer to actual water there is brief moment when I feel like I'm playing the world's most deadly game of Twister...particularly when John drops the soap (insert prison joke here) and makes the bottom of the tub that much slicker. Seriously, if he didn't love me and if I wasn't worth like .35 cents dead, I'd almost think that he was trying to kill me.
3. My friend who is getting married this summer wrote me an email about how much she detests bra shopping but that she should probably purchase a " few new bras as she's going into this marriage." For some reason that just really tickled me. I'm wondering what state her brassieres are in right now...
4. I was talking with my friends over lunch and my one friend told me that her husband doesn't like the DIY version of This Old House because it's too commercialized and "sexy"...he misses the old PBS versions. He also likes The Deadliest Catch too, which I think is hilarious because if you've seen one episode, you've seen them all. Here let me catch you up. "Oh geez, it's really, really cold out here!" "Oh my gosh! We might get swept overboard!" "Holy crap! There aren't any crabs in the trap! We MUST STOP OVER FISHING...well, except for this time!" And that's my interpretation of the Deadliest Catch.
One thing that doesn't make me laugh hard? John took off for the rest of the week so that means that he's off today through Monday...it makes me want to stab him in the eye with a spoon as I get ready for work. However, since I'm a benevolent soul, I guess he can take off since he has to watch me lounge around work-free/carefree ALL summer!!!
I'm sure there are other things...but I'll be damned if I can remember!
Labels: bad dog, dogbaby, family, guilty pleasure, listy lists
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