What is more fun than priming the back bedroom on Cinqo de Mayo? Laying on the guest bed drinking wine while John does it!

Favorite quote after bottle number one? Um, M? I think you need to eat your other half of your hoagie...you know, to soak it up?

Did the hoagie work? No. There was no real bringing me back after that. However, I was entertainment for others that night.

What's less fun than getting drunk in your spare bedroom? Going to baby showers slightly hungover. It was a happy occasion where John's sister looked gorgeously pregnant (she's one of those people that can pull this off...I fear, that I will pull off the house-like pregnant woman look). However, one conversation sticks in my mind as the worst train wreck of conversations I've ever experienced. Here, let's see what you think:

John's Aunt (from now on known as JA): Melina, you look like you've lost weight since the wedding.

Me: Um, maybe. **starting to blush** (no, I haven't lost weight)

JA: It's always a shame when a bride is a little heavy at her wedding because those pictures stick with you for a lifetime and you'll always have to see them.

Me: Uh, yeah...I guess...I don't know, I don't care that much, I was happy so I ate a little more than I would've. **trying hard to keep my game face on when I wanted to crawl under the table and rock a little**

John: (trying to help a little, patted his belly) We both did!

JA: John you looked good in the pictures.

**subcontext** apparently, I did not! There was much more to this conversation, including when she told me I wasn't as big as "a poor 300 lb girl that she photographed" (! what?!? I'm not even FAT!!! was I a little chubbier than I would've like to be at my wedding, sure...but fat? NO), but the sad part of the whole thing was, she was trying to give me a compliment. It just went horribly wrong.

After that, any time that John asked me if I wanted anything to eat, I declined politely.