This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Wednesday, April 11, 2007
keeping the passion alive
Now a very important thing in a monagamous relationship is to keep things know, like a big spicy pot of Jambalaya (you will understand the food reference soon). So the other night I did my best to turn up the heat with John--I'm awesome like that, I suppose.

We started out with some smooches. I whispered in his ear, "Mmm, you taste like salami, I like salami it's one of my favorite lunchmeats" because well, he did...and it was cool because it's true, I like salami. He looked at me like I was crazy, ignored me with a little giggle and kept at his kissing work. Then things heated up a bit more. Clothes came off, kisses went everywhere and you all know how the game goes...and if you don't? You shouldn't be reading this blog and you should probably go ask your mommy about the birds and the bees (while you're at it, ask what insects and birds have to do with sex and let me know, m'kay?).

Moving on.

So just as things were getting supremely hot and I was all like, "Yeah! I'm gonna get me some of this husband of mine" (I talk to myself in my head like this sometimes, is that so wrong?). However, I say out loud, "And now I get to have some of my favorite of all lunchmeats!" in a really weird voice because I was still fixated on the salami comment, you see?(see the bottom of the post for an example of how I spoke...I'd be the green guy) I blame all of this, as well as the rest of my weirdness on the fact that I fell down sixteen stairs when I was two and landed on my head. Well, the martian voice and the off the wall lunchmeat statement got both of us laughing incredibly hard to the point where John just wasn't focused on his task at hand. Never fear, while laughing hysterically, I redirected him with a sharp heel to the back and all was well...aside from the mini crack ups throughout.

Later I thought he was leaning over to kiss me but instead he said, "So, we're resorting to weiner jokes now,huh? That's your foreplay script these days?"
"Of course not", I replied, " I'm not immature." He nodded and jabbed me in the ribs,
"It was going to be a joke about ring bologna, wasn't it?"

The man is a freaking mind reader.

My voice sounded like this:

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posted by Melina at 3:43 PM