Last night was my turn to host the BCT meeting, BCT stands for "Bitches Coming Together". My friends from work and I created this idea so that we don't get burned out from our jobs. And here's what we do--we take turns hosting BCT and once a month we get invited to a friend's house--go along with some wacky theme, eat a delicious meal, get a little tipsy and laugh hysterically at each other.


Since my BCT turn fell around Christmas we turned it into a Pollyanna event. I got my friend Ml this year and since she's known for her wild "jump on the stage with the band" antics, I purchased her a one man band kit...she will now be running around with castanets--it makes me proud that I'm responsible for this. As my gift, I received a blockbuster card and...wait for it...a David Hasselhoff clock!! Whooo! My friends obviously know who they're dealing with.


On the menu last evening was beef tips and mushroom gravy, mashed potatoes, peas (corn for people who don't like peas...who are these people? They should be eliminated) and then I attempted to make a chocolate turtle skillet cake. There was a problem with that. First, I didn't have a skillet that I thought could withstand the heat of the over so I decided to forgo the skillet. My alternative?? I used a very deep glass bowl. Unfortunately, for me I had a little too much wine (oh my god!! have you ever gotten Smoking Loon wine?? The cork has "whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo 'cough' whoo whoo whoo" on it...I've never laughed so hard at a cork in my life!!) and my wine addled brain couldn't figure out why the cake wasn't cooking. So what did I do?? I served cake sludge of course!! People ladled out "cake" onto their plates in little brown puddles and chowed down as if it was the way it was supposed to be. I love my friends. They don't make me feel as inept as I probably am.


Proof that I can throw a good get together (Which by the way *rubbing knuckles on shirt* I was told that I have thrown the BEST BCT ever!) is that my friend Jackie got tipsy and wrote weird, funny, rambly messages to people which I found this morning as I stumbled around getting ready for work today. I have for you several exhibits of this behavior. *Names will be changed to protect the guilty.


Exhibit A

"K peed on the side of the road. B looks like she is a 40 year old Brazilian woman. When I come from Punjabi, you come pick me up."


Exhibit B

"Melina stop molesting B with the hook--you might pop her fake boobs. I wish you had more mushrooms for me. I will threaten you with a stick of pepperoni--you will love it. I saw you with my big meat loaf. One time I saw you at the supermarket and you had on purple panties. They weren't yours--were they M.E's (the super old lady who works with us)? Imagine if M.E had a peg leg. Cool--I know--I pictured it too.


Exhibit C

"B,

You are a really smelly bitch. Sometimes when I wear bras outside my clothes I take pictures for you. Matt is marrying you because you are a slut who gives head in the car and kitchen. Please don't fall down in the strip club because you have big boobs and little feet."


Exhibit D

J,

Open your mouth and let him in- Trust me, he will appreciate it. Remember when your anal beads got stuck in the potty (that never happened to J by the way)? You are my best black friend (She isn't black!). What do you love poles? I love them too. Let's go somewhere and get in a brawl. Don't worry , I got your back- Do you think we could win a fight- no weapons- just hand to hand combat?"



This just proves that it was a hilarious night AND that new mothers who are released back into the wild get a little nutsy when first reintroduced to the 'sauce'! I feel so lucky with my life right now...I have the best friends, the most wonderful husband, and an awesome dog. Never in my life have I been so content, so happy, constantly looking forward to what great thing is going to happen next. I feel all warm and flushed as if I were constantly tipsy and giggling.