This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Living in Fear...not quite as catchy as living in sin
Email to Melina: (after long discussion of new budget and how much each of us needs to contribute to the joint account) " that leaves us collectively with about $800 left to go drinking."

Email to John: I don't think we need $800 a month to drink!

Email to Melina: Good...I didn't want to have to tell people that we each have a $400 a month drinking habit. Does that sound bad? It sounds bad to me...I just don't want you to have to sit in all the time is what I meant. I don't want you to get bored. (note to readers: we don't actually drink away $800 a month but we have been going out and spending it for food, entertainment and buying all our friends rounds as if we were high rollers--which is why we reprioritized so that we can get our hardwood floor!! Can you see me kicking the gross seafoam green rug in scorn and kissing the hardwood flooring samples--muah! You'll be mine in a year!)

Email to John: I'd never get bored of you! We can do so many things together! I can rape your belly button with my tongue again and snag lint. I can tickle you until you get mad at me!!! I can chase you around the house with the pole again! (Dear readers: I chased John around the parking lot of Lowes the other night with an extension pole for a paint roller. I weilded it like a light saber and cackled as he cowered in the shadows). We can have food fights! We can mope that there's only turkey in the fridge! We can go to the movies and you can "go down on me in the theater" just like Alanis.

Email to Melina: blah blah blah blah blah (it was something totally off topic and didn't say anything about my awesome list that would've fought all forms of boredom...I left stuff off for Christ's sake! He could rub my feet. We could watch scary movies so that I could shiver in his arms petrified. We could walk the dog. We could watch Blind Date and say confidently in a "smug married" voice that Bridget Jones would hate, "Thank God I don't have to date crazy people anymore..." (the sentence never gets finished because it would go like this, "Thank God I don't have to date crazy people anymore, I've found their Queen/King".))

An hour passes.

Email to John: Hey thanks for telling me that you'd never get bored with me, Jerkface!

Email to Melina: I could never get bored of you! I will constantly live in fear and suspense of what you'll do next! (this was paraphrased)

So there you have it. I scare the bejesus out of my young groom. Say it with me, "I have the power!"

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posted by Melina at 5:01 PM