Drunk by yourself (after going out with a friend for a few)
on a Friday night, you take your birthcontrol and realize
that you paid $176 for three packs rather thank the $20
for three (because you ran out and your DR is sick of
giving you more because you constantly cancel your
appointments to go down to the city...I'm an idiot,
yes, yes...I'm well aware) and you realize that you
won't be sleeping with anyone anytime soon, because
if you do, you'll hate yourself. As you hated yourself
with that run on sentence.

And then, to make matters worse...you have a bridal
shower tomorrow and a baby shower on Sunday and you hate
having a vagina which requires you to go to such horrid affairs.
And you know that even if you wanted to be married and have
babies,
it's soo not in your cards.
Luckily, I'm on the fence about both...

It's a pity party and you're invited. Please bring gifts.
We'll call it a Pity Shower and there will be lots of fun games
for all involved. You may even win a door prize.

Oh and Johnny...your new hoodie is here. I'll mail it down tomorrow.
Hope this one fits you pumpkin. Happy Birthday a second time around.