I made this tape for my friend in high school for when she was feeling down about boys, I titled it "the slit your wrist" tape. Not that we were suicidal or anything, but the phrase seemed already coined, and it needed to be used. It was the perfectly planned tape. Like the character Rob from High Fidelity, I feel like there is a secret art in making a meaningful mixed tape (now CD). Of course, Rob doesn't learn that it's all about who you're making the cd for is what matters...not the songs that you think are meaningful until the end. Lucky me, I knew it all along.

In college, we made another version of the "slit your wrist"...this time a CD. Again flawless. Tonight I tried to make a playlist, but I couldn't find the right flow. Perhaps it's because I'm not mad (that would make for a nice angry, punk filled/guitar driven cd), I'm no longer completely sad, it's there obviously--but it's begining to transmute...into what? I have no idea (sad, could've been all the emo bands I've been subjecting to myself as of late...oh, how did I get here?? ha ha)...what makes for a cd where you're sitting there scratching your head thinking, "I have absolutely no idea how I feel...and...I'm not going to analyze it because I feel ok enough."

So, I'm no longer preoccupied with my emotions which I think is a good thing. I think. Although, I'm still in a quandry about my cd. Ehh, it'll come to me.