This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Friday, March 24, 2006
What's in a name?
John sent me at text this morning at 2:53am that was meant for another woman...his ex girlfriend, the "one that got away". The one who lives in Florida and has been reaching out, and apparently--has been sending him pictures.

I sent him a text message back, "You sent this to the wrong girl." (and I'm ashamed to say, that I had a moment there, that I wasn't going to say anything about it...I was just going to ignore it and pretend it away)

And so he called directly thereafter and the conversation began. Yes it was a conversation and not a screaming match (well he would have nothing to scream about and I was too hurt to yell. I wanted to curl into the fetal position and shield my heart from the blows) and it's not done, just for tonight--or this morning acutally. So here I sit thinking about the conversation because I can't sleep.

I agreed to still see him tonight, we have a lot to talk about. He's asking me not to end things here and now, he's asking me to let him try to regain trust...

We both cried a lot. I told him how completely in love with him I am, and that I can't compete with a woman who is only now reaching out to him because he's happy again for the first time in months. I told him what an idiot he is, and that I would give him the world if he would just ask...that I would probably give it to him even if he didn't ask. I told him that if I decided to end this, that he would kick himself five months down the road when R________ throws him back to the wolves again. I told him that I refuse to compete--it's all or nothing, and this is the only offer.

I know I should quit him.

I should.

Why am I in love with him?
posted by Melina at 3:39 AM