This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
Check out my other blogs:
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006
The reason I suddenly needed a bathroom that no one could see me cry
I received this email at around 12 today...I haven't stopped crying yet. Nor have I responded. Well except to you all...I just don't want to feed this craziness. I don't know what caused him to freak out about having a girlfriend so I'm letting it drop. Maybe he'll figure it out, maybe he won't but I'm not going to sit around waiting to find out while crying hysterically. Not that I want to date anyone anytime soon. Not after this enormous mental/aeortal mindfuck. I didn't change anything, I just wrote what I thought in red since I'm not responding to it.

"And i'm sorry for the bad day, and the crying, and the confusion... i'm just not ready for everything that's involved with being with someone and treating them like they deserve, giving consideration and time and all...(ick) i've had a pretty rough year( so you decided to ruin me that I could become vengeful as well and take it out on unsuspecting people) or so and it's left me riven (good word, too bad I'm falling apart because of you...otherwise I'd like you and your vocabularly) and i thought that finding someone who's basically perfect (if I had been all the way perfect it would've worked right?) would make all of it not matter but it didn't and won't(ouch...thanks John...was that before or after you told me you loved me? Wow, that's the first time anyone ever lied about it. I prefer the guys who just tell me what they're truly after). i just thought the longer i tried this the more hurt it would cause the both of us so i did what i did and i hope that i dont lose you completely for it." You hope you don't lose me completely for it, but you've taken yourself away from me completely...I don't get it.

Image hosting by Photobucket Oh and I'm thinking about having one of my friends become a guest blogger so that you can see that all the things I was typing weren't just in my head.
posted by Melina at 12:56 PM