I received this email at around 12 today...I haven't stopped crying yet. Nor have I responded. Well except to you all...I just don't want to feed this craziness. I don't know what caused him to freak out about having a girlfriend so I'm letting it drop. Maybe he'll figure it out, maybe he won't but I'm not going to sit around waiting to find out while crying hysterically. Not that I want to date anyone anytime soon. Not after this enormous mental/aeortal mindfuck. I didn't change anything, I just wrote what I thought in red since I'm not responding to it.

"And i'm sorry for the bad day, and the crying, and the confusion... i'm just not ready for everything that's involved with being with someone and treating them like they deserve, giving consideration and time and all...(ick) i've had a pretty rough year( so you decided to ruin me too...so that I could become vengeful as well and take it out on unsuspecting people) or so and it's left me riven (good word, too bad I'm falling apart because of you...otherwise I'd like you and your vocabularly) and i thought that finding someone who's basically perfect (if I had been all the way perfect it would've worked right?) would make all of it not matter but it didn't and won't(ouch...thanks John...was that before or after you told me you loved me? Wow, that's the first time anyone ever lied about it. I prefer the guys who just tell me what they're truly after). i just thought the longer i tried this the more hurt it would cause the both of us so i did what i did and i hope that i dont lose you completely for it." You hope you don't lose me completely for it, but you've taken yourself away from me completely...I don't get it.

Oh and I'm thinking about having one of my friends become a guest blogger so that you can see that all the things I was typing weren't just in my head.