This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Thursday, February 16, 2006
Snarkfest, USA
Don't make me won't like it when I'm angry.

The snark starts here. John's new roommate was supposed to move stuff into the house last night (an old friend of his...and mine) so our plans together got nixed since there was one key to the house. Of course I was chipper and said to Johnny, "Do what you gotta do, help him get moved in...drink a few beers...have a good time!" What I really was thinking was, "Do what you gotta do, then kick his drunk ass on the street and come see me now!" But that wasn't what made my hackles rise...

At 9:30 John sent me a text that said, "He bailed tonight, now I'm pissed. I missed an opportunity to see you." (awww, I love him! No snark for him). I could've forced him to come up at 9:30 but I knew that he was already curled up on the couch, book in hand for school tonight, doing all the work that I never let him get done. I didn't ever push the issue...because had I, he would've wearily gotten to my house at 10ish.

Snark #2. Tanning is starting to catch up to me. My forehead looks gross (to me...everyone else just keeps squinting at my face when I point out the wrinkles/disfigurements)...I turn 29 next month...I'm cool with that, I need to realize that not being George Hamilton's color is ok, so that I can stop the grossness that is my skin.

Snark #3. Sex. (It goes with number 1). What's the good of having a boyfriend if you haven't had sex since Sunday?!? With it being V-day and all, I think people with hip replacements have us beat for the week. I'm climbing the walls here...and Stupidhead (read: my sweet, sweet boyfriend) has night class tonight. Oh the humanity!

Snark #4. My mother "broke into" my house yesterday (she walked in, I left it unlocked) to look at my stupid broken bed since her boyfriend can fix it. Did I ask for this??? Nooooo. But I get a snarky phone call about how disgusting my house is (which is true...but sorry, I'm traveling between two homes and work, I don't have time to clean!um and I'm a slob) and then to top the short snarked convo, she sent me an email about how I can't ever expect any man to marry me and let me bear his children (I wish I was kidding about this part, my mom for the most part rocks, but not yesterday) if he sees my house! Damn! I didn't realize that I was trying out for the part of Donna Reed! That snark lingered with me throughout the night...partially because it's true, my house is fairly disgusting but now I don't feel like cleaning it because I want to spite her...and uh...apparently, I'm 10.

That's enough snark for right now...more snark may follow.
posted by Melina at 7:10 AM