This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Shifts in the tectonics of my life
It's so strange how little ripples truly disturb the surface of the pond of my life. I was on the phone last night with my best friend (former??) Tasha. It was her 27th birthday, so I wanted to wish her a happy one and to see how her pregnancy is going. Shivers go up my spine when I think of these things...she's married, she's pregnant, she has the perfect house, the best paying job and the perfect loving husband. I wish I could say that this is all just outside looking in, but really is true, she's got a perfect life and I don't begrudge her of any of it. Somehow, we're not as close as we used to be.

We grew up together, two doors away from each other. We went to elementary school together and we went to college together. We were even in the same sorority (thusly, we made the same mistakes with some of the same men...just not at the same time)! I used to wrestle with the question of why things weren't working as well between us. There was never any animosity, it was just incredibly different. I secretly pondered if I was simply jealous of her, or if she just outgrew me...which made me question, "When am I going to grow up and be the adult she is?" especially since I'm nearly two years older than her. I tried and tried to hold everything together and keep things between us, just as they once were. Until I became frustrated and gave up.

Last night on the phone, things seemed different, we were able to connect, but in a new adult way--although whenever I hear her voice I long for the times when we would play dress up and take a "portfolio" of photos with my poloroid (ha ha, most of them were seriously horendous). She seemed so happy for me to be with John (Which of course she would be)...nearly squealing when I mentioned his idea for my West Coast birthday saying, "How did you end up with this guy?" half joking, but half which I responded, "You'd think after all the endless bad guys I've dated, hung out with or just plain screwed I finally deserve one of the good ones!" laughing at myself and she surprised me by whole heartedly agreeing with me. Kind of like saying without saying, "Babe, it's about time you decided to grow up."

However, I'm not going to lie...when I went into Gymboree to buy her future baby boy clothes I was entirely skeeved out. I'm not ready for babies!!! I had no idea what I was picking I gave up midway, bought what was on my arm and bought a $50.00 gift certificate and ran back to my car.
posted by Melina at 1:57 PM