Weekend Update...
Friday.
I went down to see John's band have an "open practice"...basically, it was a little preview show. I know he's my boyfriend and all, but the band kicked ass. Well, after the first set they decided to destroy everything in the kitchen. Microwaves went flying, beer bottles hit the walls, kitchen tables were overturned and then thrown into another room. The destruction was immense, but oddly...the punk rock boys so intent on creating chaos quickly flipped a switch and calmly swept everything up into trash bags (or into the back "yard"...which is basically a debris pile caused by John and the boys and the former inhabitants of the home. It was the strangest thing in the world to witness...but it seemed to make sense at the time.
Set two was equally good, but set three was more than a little funny. It was after 3am. Everyone in the house was drunk. The band was no exception to this whatsoever. The lead singer in fact, was lying on the floor singing lyrics to songs I've never heard before...but whatever they were, they weren't the song lyrics he was supposed to be singing. At around five, my eyelids were getting incredibly heavy and I started to fall asleep standing up. John whisked me upstairs and I fell asleep within seconds.
Saturday.
T, John's roommate and I hung out in the kitchen waiting for Sleeping Beauty (aka John) to wake up. John's roommate, the hottest man alive, turns out to be one of the funniest people alive as well. John finally woke up, and we quickly left in order to beat the impending snow storm. We made many stops on our way, picking up supplies for our "Snow In". We bought V8, the most enormous bottle of good Vodka I've ever seen (thanks Johnny!), celery, horseradish, and worstershire sauce. That's right! We had lots of and lots of Bloody Marys. Although I have to say, I may love John, but he's a little heavy handed with the horseradish...it was more like eating a meal than drinking anything. I actually switched over to beer, because I couldn't chew my drink any longer with a smile. When John wasn't looking I ran to the sink and poured his concoction down the drain. After hours of singing at the top of our lungs with my friends from work we decided that we needed to be unleashed upon the rest of the world. I mean really, we couldn't hide our gift (vocal skills, and incredible drunkeness) from the world any longer.
So we strapped on our snow shoes (read: five inch high heels for me and T and a pair of sneakers with no grip on the bottom for John and I think everyone else had suitable shoes) and we prepared to walk. However, we were stopped by our friend Rob, who, unlike us...did not consume numerous pitchers of chunky Bloody Mary's/ or about 100 of Canada's finest beer--Molson Golden (I won't say who did that...ahem). So we piled into Rob's tiny pickup in the midst of a full on blizzard and went to thitwbar. Surprisingly, there were a good amount of people there...many arriving on snowmobiles (of course...does this surprise you?) This is where John turned into a zombie.
Apparently, John is not superhuman in nature, although, I believe he thought he was at one point. You see, even he got sick of his chunky drink (that he called a Bloody Mary, and I called a Bloody Mess) and so he decided to make pint glass versions of a dirty martini...hmm...1 pint glass, he was ok. 2nd pint, he added about 95 olives to the mix and still, he seemed...well a little wobbly but still ok. The 3rd pint glass should've been removed from his hand...although when I took a sip I saw that he "cheated" because it was nearly 3/4 olive juice this time! The truck ride where I sat on his lap with my head tucked into the dashboard (children reading this: this is NOT safe. I didn't even feel safe for a minute!) I think expedited his drunkeness. We stepped out of the vehicle and he was a changed man...something more from George Romero than my boyfriend. But he seemed in good spirits so we continued into the bar. This is when the zombie would decide to become Beligerant Zombie.
Some woman hit on John at the jukebox. True she was styled in the 80's "I love White Snake" look and true, she was much, much older than him and very unattractive...but for the love of God must he say, "Look here lady, I'm gonna play what I want to play!" while pointing a finger at her, his eyes going all googly side to side. She scampered away, as if Ted Bundy were the one looking for a "new" Journey song that he learned...and not John. Then he turned on me. He sat next to me and said, "I was under the impression that I came up here this weekend so that we could all drink and have fun...but the only person who's drunk is me!!!" And then he ordered me several shots/drinks and beers and then skipped away from the bar to talk to people he hadn't seen since high school. We came home and he started to try to bicker with me, but I wasn't having it. We went upstairs to go to bed and he tripped on something of mine in the hallway and he yelled, "Clean your room Melina!" and I sarcastically yelled back, "Yeah, I'll get right on that!" (because um, I don't think I've cleaned anything in the house for a good month now...) Then I yelled, "Take your clothes off and get in bed," (which makes me giggle now because I can't picture myself saying it, but T was sleeping on the couch and she heard me bellow it at him. Apparently he liked this, because he complied. And then we passed out...um, but not before I gave him a hickey. Ha ha...it's the first hickey I've ever given someone, and I don't remember meaning to do it, but there it was--to my chagrin.
Sunday.
We woke up, ordered Chinese food and decided to watch First Blood and make fun of the movie...because well, it's really, really funny. Any movie with this exchange:
Brian Dennehy (stupid cop guy): I sent in 200 of our best men!
Corporal guy: but you forgetting something...
Brian Dennehy: What's that?
Corporal guy: A hell of a lot of bodybags...
See that made me laugh, because these types of exchanges were peppered throughout the entire movie. I read him some of my favorite blogs (but somehow forgot to mention that I have one of my own...) he particularly likes Vivian and the Hot Librarian. At some point in the middle of the day I turned to him and said, "You were being belligerant last night and I think I'm supposed to be mad at you!" But since I didn't know why...I let it go...so our "first fight" was kind of stupid and it never really came to fruition or had a resolution. Sunday night, we were waiting for Chelle to come over so that I could take her and John over to see John's friends who were down from Boston. Chelle said that she was going to call on her way, she did not. This made John and I scramble to put our clothes on before she came barrelling in...it actually was pretty funny (Sorry Chelle!!) We went to the bar and John and his friend just did shots for...oh like three hours. This is when I was introduced to Drunken Funny John (DFJ). Unlike the Zombie John, I enjoyed spending time with DFJ. I poured him into my car because I had to take him home to his house in the city.
On my way to his house, he started to snore. I was soo tired that my eyes were beginning to close. I woke him up and told him to talk to me a little and keep me awake. He said, "Ok" and then proceeded to snore on my shoulder. I laughed, turned the music up and rolled the window down. Finally, I got him home...after several drunken antics, such as when I said, "Johnny, wake up...we're home." and he woke up and asked me, "What should I do about that?" Ummmm, let me think here...get out of the car perhaps?? He did things like this the whole way from the alley to his house. I wish I was in the mood to type them all down...but I'm not. Of course, he's not always a drunken buffoon, but he definitely played the role this weekend...and it was all pretty funny taking care of him. My favorite part of the weekend though was at 1am, when I had finally gotten him into bed...explained why I wasn't going to have sex with him (I had to get up at 5 and by the time he would've been done with me it would've been 2:30) he whispered in my ear, "I'm going to be the best boyfriend you ever had...because you deserve the best boyfriend. You're soo good to me...." he trailed off and I thought perhaps he fell asleep again, but then he said, "So...I'm going to be the best boyfriend ever, just uh, not this weekend ok?"
Now the countdown begins. My roommates from college are coming to hang out on Saturday. We're going to invade John's home and take over the city!
I went down to see John's band have an "open practice"...basically, it was a little preview show. I know he's my boyfriend and all, but the band kicked ass. Well, after the first set they decided to destroy everything in the kitchen. Microwaves went flying, beer bottles hit the walls, kitchen tables were overturned and then thrown into another room. The destruction was immense, but oddly...the punk rock boys so intent on creating chaos quickly flipped a switch and calmly swept everything up into trash bags (or into the back "yard"...which is basically a debris pile caused by John and the boys and the former inhabitants of the home. It was the strangest thing in the world to witness...but it seemed to make sense at the time.
Set two was equally good, but set three was more than a little funny. It was after 3am. Everyone in the house was drunk. The band was no exception to this whatsoever. The lead singer in fact, was lying on the floor singing lyrics to songs I've never heard before...but whatever they were, they weren't the song lyrics he was supposed to be singing. At around five, my eyelids were getting incredibly heavy and I started to fall asleep standing up. John whisked me upstairs and I fell asleep within seconds.
Saturday.
T, John's roommate and I hung out in the kitchen waiting for Sleeping Beauty (aka John) to wake up. John's roommate, the hottest man alive, turns out to be one of the funniest people alive as well. John finally woke up, and we quickly left in order to beat the impending snow storm. We made many stops on our way, picking up supplies for our "Snow In". We bought V8, the most enormous bottle of good Vodka I've ever seen (thanks Johnny!), celery, horseradish, and worstershire sauce. That's right! We had lots of and lots of Bloody Marys. Although I have to say, I may love John, but he's a little heavy handed with the horseradish...it was more like eating a meal than drinking anything. I actually switched over to beer, because I couldn't chew my drink any longer with a smile. When John wasn't looking I ran to the sink and poured his concoction down the drain. After hours of singing at the top of our lungs with my friends from work we decided that we needed to be unleashed upon the rest of the world. I mean really, we couldn't hide our gift (vocal skills, and incredible drunkeness) from the world any longer.
So we strapped on our snow shoes (read: five inch high heels for me and T and a pair of sneakers with no grip on the bottom for John and I think everyone else had suitable shoes) and we prepared to walk. However, we were stopped by our friend Rob, who, unlike us...did not consume numerous pitchers of chunky Bloody Mary's/ or about 100 of Canada's finest beer--Molson Golden (I won't say who did that...ahem). So we piled into Rob's tiny pickup in the midst of a full on blizzard and went to thitwbar. Surprisingly, there were a good amount of people there...many arriving on snowmobiles (of course...does this surprise you?) This is where John turned into a zombie.
Apparently, John is not superhuman in nature, although, I believe he thought he was at one point. You see, even he got sick of his chunky drink (that he called a Bloody Mary, and I called a Bloody Mess) and so he decided to make pint glass versions of a dirty martini...hmm...1 pint glass, he was ok. 2nd pint, he added about 95 olives to the mix and still, he seemed...well a little wobbly but still ok. The 3rd pint glass should've been removed from his hand...although when I took a sip I saw that he "cheated" because it was nearly 3/4 olive juice this time! The truck ride where I sat on his lap with my head tucked into the dashboard (children reading this: this is NOT safe. I didn't even feel safe for a minute!) I think expedited his drunkeness. We stepped out of the vehicle and he was a changed man...something more from George Romero than my boyfriend. But he seemed in good spirits so we continued into the bar. This is when the zombie would decide to become Beligerant Zombie.
Some woman hit on John at the jukebox. True she was styled in the 80's "I love White Snake" look and true, she was much, much older than him and very unattractive...but for the love of God must he say, "Look here lady, I'm gonna play what I want to play!" while pointing a finger at her, his eyes going all googly side to side. She scampered away, as if Ted Bundy were the one looking for a "new" Journey song that he learned...and not John. Then he turned on me. He sat next to me and said, "I was under the impression that I came up here this weekend so that we could all drink and have fun...but the only person who's drunk is me!!!" And then he ordered me several shots/drinks and beers and then skipped away from the bar to talk to people he hadn't seen since high school. We came home and he started to try to bicker with me, but I wasn't having it. We went upstairs to go to bed and he tripped on something of mine in the hallway and he yelled, "Clean your room Melina!" and I sarcastically yelled back, "Yeah, I'll get right on that!" (because um, I don't think I've cleaned anything in the house for a good month now...) Then I yelled, "Take your clothes off and get in bed," (which makes me giggle now because I can't picture myself saying it, but T was sleeping on the couch and she heard me bellow it at him. Apparently he liked this, because he complied. And then we passed out...um, but not before I gave him a hickey. Ha ha...it's the first hickey I've ever given someone, and I don't remember meaning to do it, but there it was--to my chagrin.
Sunday.
We woke up, ordered Chinese food and decided to watch First Blood and make fun of the movie...because well, it's really, really funny. Any movie with this exchange:
Brian Dennehy (stupid cop guy): I sent in 200 of our best men!
Corporal guy: but you forgetting something...
Brian Dennehy: What's that?
Corporal guy: A hell of a lot of bodybags...
See that made me laugh, because these types of exchanges were peppered throughout the entire movie. I read him some of my favorite blogs (but somehow forgot to mention that I have one of my own...) he particularly likes Vivian and the Hot Librarian. At some point in the middle of the day I turned to him and said, "You were being belligerant last night and I think I'm supposed to be mad at you!" But since I didn't know why...I let it go...so our "first fight" was kind of stupid and it never really came to fruition or had a resolution. Sunday night, we were waiting for Chelle to come over so that I could take her and John over to see John's friends who were down from Boston. Chelle said that she was going to call on her way, she did not. This made John and I scramble to put our clothes on before she came barrelling in...it actually was pretty funny (Sorry Chelle!!) We went to the bar and John and his friend just did shots for...oh like three hours. This is when I was introduced to Drunken Funny John (DFJ). Unlike the Zombie John, I enjoyed spending time with DFJ. I poured him into my car because I had to take him home to his house in the city.
On my way to his house, he started to snore. I was soo tired that my eyes were beginning to close. I woke him up and told him to talk to me a little and keep me awake. He said, "Ok" and then proceeded to snore on my shoulder. I laughed, turned the music up and rolled the window down. Finally, I got him home...after several drunken antics, such as when I said, "Johnny, wake up...we're home." and he woke up and asked me, "What should I do about that?" Ummmm, let me think here...get out of the car perhaps?? He did things like this the whole way from the alley to his house. I wish I was in the mood to type them all down...but I'm not. Of course, he's not always a drunken buffoon, but he definitely played the role this weekend...and it was all pretty funny taking care of him. My favorite part of the weekend though was at 1am, when I had finally gotten him into bed...explained why I wasn't going to have sex with him (I had to get up at 5 and by the time he would've been done with me it would've been 2:30) he whispered in my ear, "I'm going to be the best boyfriend you ever had...because you deserve the best boyfriend. You're soo good to me...." he trailed off and I thought perhaps he fell asleep again, but then he said, "So...I'm going to be the best boyfriend ever, just uh, not this weekend ok?"
Now the countdown begins. My roommates from college are coming to hang out on Saturday. We're going to invade John's home and take over the city!
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