This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Driven to Distraction
As you've been reading on my blog...I'm totally preoccupied. John fills a good portion of my mind most of the day...what we said to one another, when we're going to see each other next and so on. And if you've read the blog, I tend to have a wee problem with the "all or nothing" theory. It's ok, I'm used to it...I've always been that way. I want my bathwater scalding hot and I want my ice water to be colder than yours. I'm just a woman of extremes.

The preoccupation is mutual. He will send me a text in the middle of the day asking me what I'm doing at work, and how my hair is done (he's big on the hair)...mostly perfectly nice comments...a few that would make a dominatrix blush; of course, I never do--ha ha. Kidding, of course I do. My blushing charms men. He mentions how he can't get things done at work. For me, it's different. At work, I have to be 100% on. I basically do standup all day...making the dull and difficult, sublime and accessible. But as soon as I leave work, I crumble.

I think about dinner, wandering the aisles...I will grab a box and smile vacantly, thinking about the time that John made me [insert whatever the boxed food item here]. I buy nothing. I leave the store with a vacant smile. I go to Blockbuster to drop off movies that have been collecting dust in my house (which truly is a dust magnet and has nothing to do with my piss poor cleaning abilities) and I walk the aisles. I will pick up a movie and again...the zombie grin will cross my face...again, I will leave with nothing except a head full of quotes that I make John do for me as if he were my pet parrot. I go home, I pick up one of four books. I pride myself in my ability to juggle four or five books at once...finishing them all within a week. Sighing, I pick up one of the books read a page or two and put it down. I reach down and grab a second book and do the same thing. I realize that I've been reading these four books for four weeks and that I've completely crossed plotlines and forgotten major characters. The books must be started over so that they can be finished.

The distraction. Well it has a name. John. It's great. He's great. It's a great feeling to be distracted from "reality" in some like someone that much and to be liked even more (that's the secret I think, I feel completely at ease because in my heart of hearts I know that he likes me more than I like him. As if that's possible??) Anyways, that new feeling (by far better than that overrated new car smell that makes me sneeze) is intense, constant...pulsating. But I have to say, I will be happy when it dies down a little...just a little...because I'm starving, I have limited socks left, a pile of books to be read, familial obligations and a sad little dog who would love to go for a walk rather than watch me stare moony eyed at my cell phone when he texts me!
posted by Melina at 2:01 PM