This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Thursday, February 02, 2006's an uphill battle
So the broken bed saga now feels like I'm sleeping uphill because the one side of the bed goes up, while the other half sags down, nearly to the ground. I can't truly describe the ridiculousness that was John and I going to bed last night. I seriously felt like I was getting altitude sickness while John claimed he felt nothing. I whole heartedly believe that this is due to the fact that he was nearly sleeping on the floor. I was going to make cupcakes or something but I just didn't know the altitude conversions...yes, those were the kind of jokes I was cracking while John kept smothering my mouth with his hand so that he could sleep. So what if it was 3am and he needed to get up at 5am? I decided I needed sex, and once I got sex I decided that I needed to do a little stand up (lay down?) before I slept. Exasperated/tired as he was, John was a fairly good sport and threw in a few jokes himself (after several pokes in the ribs and threats that I would never go to sleep if he didn't tell me jokes).

After an odd night's sleep I decided that something needed to be done besides snicker and point saying, "Look! We broke the bed!" which in all honesty, that's about all I've been doing with the situation. So, on my break I sucked it up and I called the furniture store from which I purchased my most beautiful of all beds. Seriously, if you ever set foot into my bedroom you'd not only fall in love with me and my love of heaps of clothes on the floor, but you'd truly love my bed. It's a beaut. A one of a kind ('s a special order...not exactly one of a kind...but rare).

I ask for service. I state in a very clear and calm voice that I needed the board that goes in between the headboard and the footboard...the rail if you will. The man giggles. He giggles!! He then says, "I'm looking at your order and that was a special order. You wanted Chestnut. Chestnut is a very hard wood, I'm unsure as to how and why this broke." So I sigh and say, "Yeah, I think I've heard all the jokes this week...let's just say that my bed has seen a lot of action ok?"

I figured by saying that, I might get my brace quicker...oh and apparently, I have to purchase a pair of braces. My "service" rep giggled again and told me that the extra might not be a bad idea for me! Nothing like a little over the phone sexual harassment to brighten the day!
posted by Melina at 1:12 PM