Monday morning I kissed John on his slumbering forehead and I wearily crunched on the snow to my car, climbed in and went to work...after that, I didn't see him in the flesh again until last night. Not that long, a four day stretch in which we stay in constant communication via texts and emails and the occasional short phone calls, but it was too long nonetheless (of course, in typical Melina drama fashion).

And I was restless. Not the restless, climbing the walls for sex Melina of the past (although, to be honest, I was a little restless for that too) but I was the Melina who sat typing messages to her boyfriend wistfully because she knew that the fun she was having would've been multiplied infinitely had he been there. It's a weird way in which I'm evolving...the way our lives are meshing.

Last night I couldn't take it any longer. I was tired, I wanted to go to bed because it was more tiring to fight my eyelids from closing than anything I could think of...and then I started talking to John over texts. He had night class last night, I started biting my lip calculating how long I could nap while he was in class and then head on down to his apartment. Then he sends me a text, "I'm skipping class, will you come down?" and happily I scampered into the shower and headed out of the door. I made quick arrangements for T and Chelle to let my dogbaby out...because like any blended family, the adjustment for the child is always harder. She loves John on her turf, but I'm scared to take her to his...for right now. More scared of what "innocent" damage she might do to his home than for anything else. John would take it all in stride, but...still, I'm hesitant. And as long as I have wonderful friends willing to hang with the girl, I'm ok...it won't last much longer, they'll (John and dogbaby) will have to mesh their lives too.

I parked my car, impressed that I've gotten the parallel parking/park two wheels on the curb down. I stepped out of my car and took in the alley, creepy doors, odd people who seem to never sleep (and I'm sure they think the same of me) because I say hello to them at all hours; 1am when we leave the bars, 10pm when I come to spend the night with John, 5 am when I'm leaving for work in the morning. I took in the construction that is constant (particularly on Saturday mornings at 6am) beside his house...I saw progress. Progress seems to be a theme right now.

I knocked on his door and within seconds of him opening it, I was quickly wrapped in his arms and I was at home. No longer did I feel jittery, or a little snarked out as I was all week, I was centered. I looked around when I finally let go of him. My clothes (and countless pairs of undies? How do I always leave them behind? It must be that 5am thing...I get up and go) laundered and folded in the corner. My side of the bed, with my pillow "delicately" stained with mascara. My Valentine's Day hearts stacked neatly on his computer desk. All of it, evidence of me. My existance in his life.

I told him about a compliment that I got from my friend the night before. This friend said, "M, you're like the perfect woman. I'm impressed by you. You're a sexy girl...very feminine, very girly, you don't need to let your tits hang out for guys to notice you becuase you have a presence. You hang with the guys, you have a tough side, you can drink, you gamble,you're not afraid to get dirty, you quote movies, you talk about sex and apparently have the healthiest sex drive in the history of women and you're funny. You're kinda the ultimate." I'm not exactly sure what spurred this compliment or for Steve to say this but as I was telling John the story while we were lying in bed last night he said, " Steve's right, I told you before I have a divining rod to spot quality people. When I met you, I knew..." and then he trailed off and started snoring. I elbowed him awake, not caring that it was quarter of one and we had said we were going to try to go to sleep at 11, "What did you know?"
He woke with kind of a start and I elbowed him again, "What did you and your divining rod know?"
"I just knew the potential..." and again he trailed off and fell asleep. This time I let him sleep, because I understood the potential too.