This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Friday, November 30, 2007
History Lesson--Melina, the Spark Notes Edition
I think our neighbors had a cigarette after we were done the other night. Perhaps it's the 5am workout regimen or maybe we are just two randy people, but last night kept me distracted all day thinking happy rosey thoughts about John...I am literally staring off into space thinking about him. Which leads me to a question that Gooseberried had, how did I know that John was the one for me? It was because of what I saw hidden in him...the stuff he was trying to make sure I wouldn't see, but it's hard to see how I got to John without knowing where I was before that.
Stop reading here if you've been with me over the past few years, it's just a rehashing of old events.
Some people have been reading this blog since the days that I was stalking Derek (the poor boy that worked at the bar up the street from my house whom I focused all my drunken affections on in a truly humiliating fashion that made this blog possible!) But to those of you who haven't been reading through the long haul here's a brief summary of what happened:

1. I fell in love with a boy when I was 25 (I went to college with him and loved him from afar the entire time). We dated for a while (after reuniting randomly in a graduate school class) then he broke up with me telling me that it was "too soon", because he ended his seven year relationship to be with me. Heartbreakingly he added that he just wasn't in love with me...although he had said it enough during our relationship for me to believe it. Six months after breaking up with me, he met his future wife and married her within the year.

2. A sad fact, I wasn't truly interested in a single man until I met John; it sounds cheesy and phony but it's the absolute truth. Yes, I dated here and there but I didn't get over Chris for years. It was a ridiculously long time for a fairly short relationship and I didn't do anything about it (like call him or anything), I just felt sad and broken for many years. Which is what caused #3.

3. I decided to harden my heart and just sleep with whomever I felt like it. It was fun, most of the time...occasionally it got messy but I was pretty good at separating true affection and sex...with my buddies T and Chelle by my side it became almost a sport for us and it filled our weekends pretty nicely.

4. I met Derek and I knew that he wasn't interested in me, so it was silly and safe to focus all my "love" on him because I wasn't going to get my heart broken...then I really kind of liked him. He still didn't like me and I was the drunkest stalker you could find! The blog posts are pretty funny but fairly embarassing to go back and read (Dec 04-Aug 05 I think). Looking back, I don't think I really would've liked Derek all that much if I knew him a little better than I did but it was a pretty fun time until I got depressed that he didn't like me (weird little things we do to ourselves, huh?). John likes to make fun of me because he and Derek went to high school together and were friends. I blush a lot when his name comes up.

5. After Derek left for school, I put myself on a Man Ban, and decided to get my head straight, heal my heart (finally) and move on with my life without sleeping with ex boyfriends, friends or strangers. I did pretty well. I avoided temptations left and right. I fought the urge to answer booty calls and I just kept chugging away in my self-prescribed celibacy. All I can really say about that period of time was that I kept the grocery store in business with all the batteries I was purchasing for my vibrator.

6. In a chance meeting right before Christmas, John was in town hanging out with his friends. T, Tony, John and I ended up staying up all night and I thought he was fact, I was thinking of calling off the Man Ban that night...alas, he dropped T and myself back at my house--but, he had my number if he wanted to use it.

7. I fell off the Man Ban bandwagon on Christmas was uneventful, but I thought I deserved a present.

8. John sent out a mass text on New Year's Eve, I responded to it and then we started flirting via myspace and texts. Somehow, I talked him into meeting up with me in the city. He lived there, I pretended that I went there all the time. From there, we basically started dating because drunkenly I asked him if he wanted to be exclusive on our "first official date". What can I say? I'm ballsy when I have whiskey in me! Although things were far from perfect. For instance I didn't know that he was still talking to his ex-girlfriend/girlfriend (I'm not totally sure if they were broken up or not because they had this crazy long distance open relationship), and him wanting to celebrate the single life with his roommates. I could tell that he liked me and I was terrified because in under two months, I had fallen for him. But why?
He made me laugh. That may be the most cliche reason in the book but he did things just to make me laugh. He was intelligent ( I was notorious for ending up with men who weren't bright and I would just end up mocking them and just being plain old mean to them). When he was with me, the entire world just seemed to fall away and he would focus solely on me (like the days where we would spend the whole day in bed, laughing/having sex/listening to music etc)...he still does this. I was smitten with the city life, even though I'm two years older than John I felt like I was just a little kid when I went down to see him--I felt sophiticated. That doesn't have anything to do with John persay, but I'm sure that it had something to do with the early days of liking him. I just liked him. For the first time in my life I wasn't scrutinizing anything or picking him apart, saying the things I did and didn't like about him, I liked him completely. I think that was big, particularly for me.

9. But there were roadblocks in our romance. Everything seems (and is) peachy in our relationship now, but John got cold feet and broke up with me. He wanted to "date" (aka screw) a waitress. I'm not entirely sure why I didn't just throw in the towel on him and deem him an asshole...which is the way he was completely acting at the time but I really think I understood why he was doing it. I saw his fear as he was pushing me away, I saw that he was in love with me too even if he didn't know it himself (uggh, that sounds like the stuff that bad romance novels are made of)...but maybe I was just hoping, I'll never know because I decided to do something about it. I went to the city and made a stand...albeit a drunken, piss myself kind of stand, but a stand nonetheless.

10. And after that, we were engaged by the end of May and married by the end of July in Vegas. Everything has been very easy for us, we've straightened each other out, helped each other prioritize our lives. Together we are everything I thought we could be, perhaps more (again it might sound like a line or cheesy but it's the truth). To answer your question in the comments Michelle, I'm not exactly sure how I knew, but somehow there were enough clues there for me see that I wasn't giving up on him without a fight.

Hopefully this post didn't bore anyone and gave some background without having to go back and read the entire archives.

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posted by Melina at 4:50 PM