This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Monday, May 23, 2005
The Necessary Spark...Is It Immediate? Or Does It Grow Like Fungus?
So I discussed my date with my mom this evening and I told her, what I told you guys--I thought he was pretty cool, partially creepy and I didn't really feel the physical chemistry. I found him attractive yes, I kissed him yes and it wasn't horrible. It wasn't earth shattering and time stopping, it was just a kiss.
[an aside]
Did I ever tell you about the first time that J and I kissed. I was leaning against my car door after a major make out session (about two hours after we met) and I was trying to be good and go home. He leaned over and kissed me, and time stopped. I didn't even realize I was still kissing him, until he pulled away and said, "Wow." We actually stopped mid-kiss to talk about it. Now that was a kiss! That's the kiss I judge all kisses on I think. Unfortunately his occupation as a drug dealer (at the time) and as a heavy drug user, J's kisses remain in my memories and will not become reality again until I see that he truly has cleaned up. Even still it probably won't be reality again because I heard he stopped dealing, now only if he could stop using. He was an interesting guy, now I think he's too burnt out.
[back from the aside]
So that's what this whole date thing lacked--real chemistry. We had enough chemistry I think to be friends (and then I could say to Patrick, "No Patrick, I didn't fuck're my friend, skeevy man). My mom said not to give up on him too easily, even after I mentioned the "Did you fuck him" comment because she said (and she may have a point), "Well you did talk to him Friday night when you were drunk, who knows what crazy talk you were spouting..." I'm half tempted to agree with her because it would explain where that left field comment came from. But I'm in total agreement with all of you, it's creepy and inappropriate, too. Mom also said that sometimes the chemistry grows...I've never experienced that, what do you think? For me, it's always been instantaneous. Black/white, cut/dried...

At this point I'm hoping that he doesn't call, if I'm having mixed emotions (leaning toward the negative) now, why bother? I hate having to let people least this time it won't be me, who's being disappointed.

On another note. A certain man from Australia, with eclectic musical taste was true to his word and he sent me three postcards along with a mix CD and a letter explaining why he likes the songs that he put on there. I am forever grateful, it's so cool to receive something in the mail other than bills. Once I get a few things done around here (and I mean this might be a week or so) I will do a music review of the CD, since most of the artists on the CD are Australian and are not well known around these parts of the Cornfield and perhaps other less remote areas).
posted by Melina at 7:13 PM