Who else would subject their grown child to such torture? True event.
Mom: (grabs Melina's face) Hold on a minute, what's wrong with your face?

Melina: (Reaching out to grab the Vlasic pickles just out of reach) What?!? What! What's wrong with my face (said as only an incredibly vain girl would say).

Mom: (tracing the bridge of Melina's nose) Nothing really, I think your dog broke your nose again, no one else would notice...but I gave birth to that cute little nose!

Melina: Yeah I think the dog did it the other day. We were wrestling and I got a fat lip and a punch in the nose.

(Mom still holding Melina's face, Melina's Co worker walks up...)
Co-worker: Melina?

Melina: Oh um hi, this is my mom. Mom, ____.

Co-worker: Oh hi, I'll see you tomorrow at work. (Co worker gives us another puzzled look and then scoots off)

Melina: Greeeeaaat Mom, now she'll tell everyone I'm dating an older woman I call Mom.

Mom: At least I'm your hot lesbian lover.

Melina: Well at least there's that.