So last night I was all set to curl up on my couch and watch the Real World after my shower. However, my phone rang and it was my friend Nina's roommate looking for someone to hang out with him. He coaxed me into walking up to thitwbar and so I set out. Do you know how incredibly hot it is in the Cornfield right now? It literally felt like I was pushing blankets of moist air every time I moved my legs.

I got to the bar and saw Derek. I am resolved to end the crush so I just said, "Hey" and avoided the small talk. It may've been my imagination but it looked like he gave me a curious look. So I sat and chatted with Brian, which is a little tough because although nice, Brian seems to be as interesting as a piece of cardboard. After 10 minutes I was looking forward to the time when I could slip out and wade through the sauna air back to my house. But...things got better.

We decided to play some darts and were joined by a couple of my friends. After criticizing the bartender loudly for not offering better service Brian was unceremoniously cut off. He asked me if I wanted a ride home but I declined and decided to stay and chat with my friends. As I was speaking, in walked the bartender from the FQB who bought me drinks from his tip pile the night before. I asked Chris (the bartender) to give the guy whatever he wanted and went over to thank him for fronting me the night before.

So there we all were, a happy little group of people...a perfect panel for Jerry Springer. First, we could go by drunkeness...the one guy has a plate in his head from falling down the steps drunk and crushing a part of his skull. Another guy sitting with us, just had major leg surgery because he tore tendons in his leg after doing something when he was drunk. Man, I felt almost normal for having only knocked out my front teeth when I was drunk once! But we could all be on Jerry Springer for yet another reason...First there's Paul who's in love with Tara, who has had sex with Tony and loves him, Tony doesn't love Tara but wouldn't mind fucking her again, and then there was me who was lusting after Derek (who was killing the hell out of the Jameson bottle last night) and finally there was Robbie (the FQB bartender) who asked if he could sleep with me in my bed and make out "a little bit". Right, because that's where it stops huh? So there were a lot of hormones and unrequitted love being passed around those bar stools last night.

Derek asked me, "So were you on a date with that dude?" and I laughed. "Does he look like he's my type? And would I really bring a date to this bar?" He shrugged, "I don't know what your type is and you have brought a date here before!" It was my turn to shrug. "Didn't he look a little too clean cut, too "average everyday Joe"...I mean he was wearing a polo shirt with the alligator on it...and it wasn't from a thrift store Der." Derek laughed, "I'm wearing a polo shirt too." I rolled my eyes, "Yeah but you have to wear a collared shirt here dumbass." Another shrug.

Later when Robbie had asked me to make out, Der hit my arm, "What'd he ask you to do?" I cracked a crooked half smile, "He wants to make out with me in my bed." Derek scratched his head, "And...?" "And I said that we're all going back to my house but that he'll have to sleep in the guest room if he wants to stay over." I poked him in the ribs, "What'd you think I'd say?" wrinkling my nose at him. Again, a shrug.

So four of us, Derek and I included, headed back to my house for a little nightcap and for a little board game action. Derek and my dog somehow managed to rip the head off of the dog's favorite stuffed bear and fuzz flew everywhere. I don't know how they do it, but everytime Derek's here, he and the dog destroy something together. It was a fun time and the three left me around 4:30am tired, mostly sober but highly amused.