Well here are the updates...I have to warn you...it's not that exciting:
Derek shaved his head...not to the skin but short enough. I guess he didn't love the mohawk, although I kind of did. I went out with Ryan on Monday and well...I really shouldn't be allowed to drink on Mondays. I was wrecked. It all started out innocently enough at thitwbar with a few $1 mugs and then we went to our "old hangout" for our friend's birthday. It was there that I decided drinking several Grateful Deads (like a Long Island Iced Tea except it has Chambord in it)...then we went back to thitwbar and that's when things took a turn for the worse. I continued to drink like a woman who didn't do a darn thing over the weekend, and thus made Monday my official "Saturday"...does that make sense?
Well Ryan and hung out there and then he left me. Do you ask a drunk girl if she wants a ride home, and when she says no, do you let her stay? I wouldn't! But he did. Derek assessed the situation as the official bartender of the night. My terrycloth hoodie was draped over one barstool, my heels were on another, and I was sitting in front of him on the other side of the bar with nothing but love in my eyes and slurs in my words. He immediately said, "Sit here, don't move and talk to these nice people." Goodness knows what I talked to them about but I'm sure I didn't make a good impression or interesting conversation.
Later, Derek drove me home, after driving someone else home...all very fuzzy. Needless to say, I didn't win his heart over that night...or any other for that matter. I did, however, manage to send him only two drunken texts. One was blank. And the other said, "______(my dog's name) says Muah! That's kisses from my dog! " Where do I come up with these things? Not too sure myself. Then I sent Matty a text that said, "Hey, wanna fuck?" because I'm ever so classy when I'm drunk...I'm not so sure why he didn't jump at that offer at 3:30 am.
Tuesday, I paid for acting like Monday was a Saturday. I woke up thinking maybe I had finally gotten to violate me since I woke up without pants or underwear on my couch, but then I looked at my phone and came to the conclusion that I probably wouldn't have sent him text messages if he and I were consummating my craziness. So I guess I stripped myself on the couch. All day I moved from one couch to another. I suffered extreme hangover symptoms, I prayed to die...but I lived to see another day. And thankfully, it was a very productive Wednesday, complete with boring doctor's appointments and errands. Whooo hooo.
Wednesday, Chelle got fed up with Co-Worker and informed me that it would be Stress Relief Wednesesday. We headed out to thitwbar and were immediated accosted by a very drunken, very smiley, nice woman. Kick me now...she wanted our numbers because she didn't have friends in the area...so I grab a coaster and I write my number down, I hand it to Chelle but it was intercepted by Derek who wrote out a fake number for her! Damn, so I'll be getting all the calls. Chelle and I played some music since the bar was so dead...and we looked our darndest for Kelly Clarkson's "Since You Been Gone!" (since Derek was able to sing every word of it...we wanted to bust his pirate street cred wide open). Unfortunately, it wasn't on there. Derek also informed me that he went swimming with lesbians on Tuesday night. I was intrigued by this but then with a sly smile he said, "They didn't want anything to do with me...and I wasn't sleazy enough to ask them to make out for me. So really, I just went swimming with two girls." I didn't know what to say so I just smiled and said, "Well that sounds like a lot of fun Der." which in translation really said, "Derek, stop telling me about lesbian girls and have sex with me." Luckily, Derek doesn't know Melinanese so he just nodded happily.
By 11, Chelle forced me out of the door and made me go home because she's smart and leaves no one behind in the bar! I came home and got some texts from Bob, inviting me over to his pool, his bed and anywhere else I would've liked to go. I might've considered it, had I been able to drive...but had I been sober I guess I wouldn't have considered it at all. So I just sent some teasing texts back, talked to some guy on the phone who called me (I'm not totally sure who he was) and then I headed up to bed by 2:30am and went to bed knowing thankfully, I would be hangover free.
So that's that, nothing too exciting or anything. My friend Nikki has just invited me to go to Las Vegas for a couple of days. I'm considering it. Can Sin City handle me? Hmm, I wonder ;) No seriously, it's more of a cash issue since I have to throw Cr's bridal shower in about three weeks!
Derek shaved his head...not to the skin but short enough. I guess he didn't love the mohawk, although I kind of did. I went out with Ryan on Monday and well...I really shouldn't be allowed to drink on Mondays. I was wrecked. It all started out innocently enough at thitwbar with a few $1 mugs and then we went to our "old hangout" for our friend's birthday. It was there that I decided drinking several Grateful Deads (like a Long Island Iced Tea except it has Chambord in it)...then we went back to thitwbar and that's when things took a turn for the worse. I continued to drink like a woman who didn't do a darn thing over the weekend, and thus made Monday my official "Saturday"...does that make sense?
Well Ryan and hung out there and then he left me. Do you ask a drunk girl if she wants a ride home, and when she says no, do you let her stay? I wouldn't! But he did. Derek assessed the situation as the official bartender of the night. My terrycloth hoodie was draped over one barstool, my heels were on another, and I was sitting in front of him on the other side of the bar with nothing but love in my eyes and slurs in my words. He immediately said, "Sit here, don't move and talk to these nice people." Goodness knows what I talked to them about but I'm sure I didn't make a good impression or interesting conversation.
Later, Derek drove me home, after driving someone else home...all very fuzzy. Needless to say, I didn't win his heart over that night...or any other for that matter. I did, however, manage to send him only two drunken texts. One was blank. And the other said, "______(my dog's name) says Muah! That's kisses from my dog! " Where do I come up with these things? Not too sure myself. Then I sent Matty a text that said, "Hey, wanna fuck?" because I'm ever so classy when I'm drunk...I'm not so sure why he didn't jump at that offer at 3:30 am.
Tuesday, I paid for acting like Monday was a Saturday. I woke up thinking maybe I had finally gotten to violate me since I woke up without pants or underwear on my couch, but then I looked at my phone and came to the conclusion that I probably wouldn't have sent him text messages if he and I were consummating my craziness. So I guess I stripped myself on the couch. All day I moved from one couch to another. I suffered extreme hangover symptoms, I prayed to die...but I lived to see another day. And thankfully, it was a very productive Wednesday, complete with boring doctor's appointments and errands. Whooo hooo.
Wednesday, Chelle got fed up with Co-Worker and informed me that it would be Stress Relief Wednesesday. We headed out to thitwbar and were immediated accosted by a very drunken, very smiley, nice woman. Kick me now...she wanted our numbers because she didn't have friends in the area...so I grab a coaster and I write my number down, I hand it to Chelle but it was intercepted by Derek who wrote out a fake number for her! Damn, so I'll be getting all the calls. Chelle and I played some music since the bar was so dead...and we looked our darndest for Kelly Clarkson's "Since You Been Gone!" (since Derek was able to sing every word of it...we wanted to bust his pirate street cred wide open). Unfortunately, it wasn't on there. Derek also informed me that he went swimming with lesbians on Tuesday night. I was intrigued by this but then with a sly smile he said, "They didn't want anything to do with me...and I wasn't sleazy enough to ask them to make out for me. So really, I just went swimming with two girls." I didn't know what to say so I just smiled and said, "Well that sounds like a lot of fun Der." which in translation really said, "Derek, stop telling me about lesbian girls and have sex with me." Luckily, Derek doesn't know Melinanese so he just nodded happily.
By 11, Chelle forced me out of the door and made me go home because she's smart and leaves no one behind in the bar! I came home and got some texts from Bob, inviting me over to his pool, his bed and anywhere else I would've liked to go. I might've considered it, had I been able to drive...but had I been sober I guess I wouldn't have considered it at all. So I just sent some teasing texts back, talked to some guy on the phone who called me (I'm not totally sure who he was) and then I headed up to bed by 2:30am and went to bed knowing thankfully, I would be hangover free.
So that's that, nothing too exciting or anything. My friend Nikki has just invited me to go to Las Vegas for a couple of days. I'm considering it. Can Sin City handle me? Hmm, I wonder ;) No seriously, it's more of a cash issue since I have to throw Cr's bridal shower in about three weeks!
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