This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Monday, June 20, 2005
Feeling More and More Like an Unpaid Hooker with each conversation...Um, in a good way (ha ha)
My mom came over today to help me get a couple of my flowerbeds into shape. She is great! As we were gardening we had a little conversation that went like this:
Mom: So I called your phone on Saturday about a million times trying to head you off at the pass.
Me: Huh?
Mom: I was going to offer to pick you up from the party so that I wouldn't get a phone call at three am that you walked halfway home and wanted a ride.
Me: [giggling].
Mom: At 12am I tried your phone again...
Me: Yeah I left my phone at home.
Mom: Yeah and that's why [Mom's stud of a bf] said, "She's 28 years old, I'm sure she'll get a ride."
Me: Yeah...he's right. I did.
Mom: That was nice, who gave you a ride home?
Me: Bob.
Mom: Uh-oh
Me: Uh...yeah...uh-oh is right.
Mom: [shakes head] Well at least you got home.
Me: I got home a couple of times Mom.
Mom: Here, plant these...dirty girl! [handing me marigolds and petunias]

Mom: Do you know that I can count all the men that I've ever slept with on one hand? [smiling, not being mean, condescending or anything]
Me: Um, me too! I just use the same hand over and over again.

[later on my deck, sunbathing and reading our books]

Missy: So you slept with Bob huh?
Me: Yeah, it definitely wasn't on my agenda...
Missy: I wouldn't say he's bad looking...
Me: At times he reminds me of Lurch from the Addam's Family.
Missy:'re only saying that because he's really tall and thin...and wears a wife beater as a shirt.
Me: Huh?
Missy: I just added that last part. Lurch wore a suit right?
Me: yeah.
Missy: So what time did he leave your house?
Me: After 1pm
Missy: Wow, so you can't even chalk this up to drunken shenanigans...
Me: Well I could up to a point...but then I blew it when I went for another round.
Missy: yeah
Me: could kind of count when I reeked of booze the whole time, right?
Missy: Nope.
Me: Ok, fine then.
Missy: So that makes you [looks up into the air and counts on her fingers], what did Bob say his numbers were again?
Me: I don't recall him telling anyone at the party. He told me before though...can't remember
Missy: I think you're [an obscene number]
Me: Well that makes me a very special and lucky lady...and a very happy woman that I was well stocked with the Trojans!
[sorry D, I think I said it wasn't getting blogged...and well, not all of it is...just the part that makes me sound like a skanky ass ho. These are in NO way, direct quotes, just my recollection of the convo. However, everything above was word for word.]

D: I read the blog, congrats on your weekend! I'm kind of glad that I didn't try to get a hold of you last night.
Melina: Um thanks, I guess.
D: I could get out of work early today. We could hang out and...
Melina: I can't, my mom and Missy are coming over today. I could bail on my mom but not on Missy (she's travelling a distance to get here).
D: Are you sure? I seriously could get out early...
[M tries a couple of times to dodge the answer to this...but is unsuccessful, and with as much couth as a toothless hooker says...]
Melina: Um...I can't have sex today...too sore.
Melina: I hope that's not too much info.
[D seems undeterred]
D: What about Weds?
posted by Melina at 8:02 PM