I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not sure if I'm just lonely, or if I want some validation but...I can't get my mind of Todd; and not in the way that I usually think about him...as input activity partner only. I'm thinking of him in a mooney, lovey dovey kind of way. Like last night when he whispered in my ear, "Do you remember the first time we met?" and I nodded, he continued, "I remember thinking, 'That girl has the most soulful eyes in the world and they are swallowing me whole.' Had we been serious back then, I would've been ruined by you." I just smiled and nodded, because I was totally ruined by him, pulling away before he hurt me undeniably.

This is bad. He's bad. We're bad together, but I'm drawn to the idea...even though I'm sure he'll be moving his ex/girlfriend into his apartment by week's end. Fuck. Why do I have these epiphanies about four years too late?