This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
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Sunday, May 29, 2005
But He Was Mine First...
I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not sure if I'm just lonely, or if I want some validation but...I can't get my mind of Todd; and not in the way that I usually think about input activity partner only. I'm thinking of him in a mooney, lovey dovey kind of way. Like last night when he whispered in my ear, "Do you remember the first time we met?" and I nodded, he continued, "I remember thinking, 'That girl has the most soulful eyes in the world and they are swallowing me whole.' Had we been serious back then, I would've been ruined by you." I just smiled and nodded, because I was totally ruined by him, pulling away before he hurt me undeniably.

This is bad. He's bad. We're bad together, but I'm drawn to the idea...even though I'm sure he'll be moving his ex/girlfriend into his apartment by week's end. Fuck. Why do I have these epiphanies about four years too late?
posted by Melina at 9:19 PM