Female Co-worker: I love that shirt, it's so sparkly.
Me: Thanks, I feel weird though, it's a little big and it keeps falling down a little.
Female Co-worker: That's ok, you've got good boobs...show them off a little.
Me: (grabbing my boobs a little inappropriately) Yeah, other than my eyes these are my favorite body part.
Female Co-worker: Are you wearing a push up bra?
Me: Surprisingly, no. I just have boobs that sit way up high...it'll pay off in the long run I guess.
Female Co-worker: Are you serious? Are you sure you're not wearing a push up bra?
Me: (starting to pull my shirt over my head) Here see?
Female Co-worker: That's ok, I believe you.
Guy who insulted Drk at thitwbar a week ago: I'll check that out!
Me: You sir, most certainly will not!