It's official. The dog loves John more than me. I've raised this dog for four long years. John breezes in and becomes #1 human, just like that, he's the ONE. In fact, I tried to bribe her for her love today by giving her a little piece of my filet mignon and she took it. Then she looked at me as if to say, "Bitch, I know he's got prime rib in there."

I cannot win.