Writing this blog is next to pointless...why? Because Chelle and I went out to celebrate her new status as homeowner and everything is very fuzzy. Drunk wouldn't even describe what we were last night. The bar itself wasn't the most fun...I scratched my corneas so I can't wear my contacts. Being the vain and shallow girlie that I am, I put my glasses on my head but didn't pull them down. They were there as a security blanket. I'm completely blind without them.

I talked with Derek a little while totally blitzed. I confirmed that I'm going out to Denver for Thanksgiving...whooo hooo. Who knows, maybe we'll have sex in a different state? ha ha. right. And then...Billy came into the bar. Billy, being the boy that I hooked up with a while back, then he went back to jail for violating his probation...etc...Sooo cute. Ok, ok...I know it can't be good for me but...you know where I'm going with this.

Chelle was wasted at the bar. She saw B. Remember B? She hooked up with him back in the winter and was totally crushed when he turned out to be a total asshole. Well because she was wasted and I couldn't help her with self control because I was equally drunk, she went up to him and talked to him. As the bar was closing, she begged me to invite him back to the basement bar so being the "good" friend that I am...I did. I couldn't even tell you who all was here...I remember the bartender from the FQB with the metal plate in his head (he used to think I was cute...now I don't think so any more. It must be the plate in his damn head that makes him fickle), B came, B's friend (who, if he was looking for ass...he could just keep on looking!), some girl I went to college with, Billy and Derek. Now I'm sure there were other people there but I just can't remember who! Ultimately, the only two people that mattered were Derek and Billy.

Derek was my chastity belt. He supplied me with good conversation, plenty of laughs...got me paper towlels when, somehow, I sliced my finger open. Now here was the problem...Derek, man of my dreams who obviously doesn't want to sleep with me, is in my house while Billy, msn of my bed was also there. Most people could just deal with this...especially since we know Derek isn't going to sleep with me but Billy will...so the obvious display of affection would go to...

Yup, you guessed it. Derek. He is my moral compass...my chastity belt...my mother, if she were worried about my sexual promiscuity. So while my sure thing Billy was strutting around my house, I was acting like a nun. Meanwhile Chelle and B were banging like a screen door in a hurricane in my guest bedroom.

I woke up alone on my couch...in different jeans...I haven't figured that little mystery out yet. I remember people trooping out from the basement this morning...I'm assuming since I didn't hook up with Billy, the girl I went to college with did. Shit. Derek, do you have to ruin everything? Don't you know I can't whore in front of you? This sucks.