Hair-check
Makeup-check
cute, cute outfit-check
chastity belt-umm do I have to wear it? yeah, I do- check

Tonight I'm going out with my girlfriends from work. My one friend's dad owns a limosine service so we are going to go out and drink with reckless abandon (as I do quite a bit already...but I live a foot from the bar so it works out). Already I'm struggling a bit, I'm feeling a little weak from my hangover and I'm looking a little less than excited to booze it up again--but don't worry, I'm sure I'll get over that quick and in a hurry.

Now, what I need to remember that I cannot behave like the wanton harlot that I am. I mean sure, I can flirt and all but I probably shouldn't bring anyone home since all these lovely ladies are staying over at my house. I'm fairly sure that Martha Stewart has some kind of rule for a hostess about that. So, I'll behave a little I guess. It won't kill me. Plus to be honest, I usually sleep with someone I already know...because we all know from the movies that if the slut brings the handsome man home she's going to die because he's the serial killer who hates women. At least that's my own personal reasoning for sleeping with friends and acquaintances.

I can't wait. We're going to "pre-party" beforehand here at my house of booze and indescretion, so watch out those who live in a thirty mile radius of the Cornfield! I even cleaned for these girls...it doesn't happen often but I feel good about my attempt. Basically, I just stacked everything in little piles around the room and I vacuumed twice...because well, my dogs are hairy ass bastards.

I guess it's time to get my ass in the shower...gotta look all pretty for my girls and then I have to come up with a booty shaking party mix. What's that Itunes? You've already got my credit card and you want me to burn a hole in it by purchasing a boatload of music. You got it!