Both yesterday and today were so incredibly hot. I attempted both days to lay out but to be honest I felt like I was melting and ran back into the house often to firm up again. During that time I decided to hit "next blog," I haven't really done that in a long time because I was content with the people's pages that I already read and well, I spend enough damn time online! But yesterday to avoid the heat I clicked that button...and...I found that Drk had a blog at one point. It didn't last very long... He had a couple of entries in a span of two months but, I'm feeling badly.

Really badly.

I wish I had never objectified him. I wish I had never pursued him as if he were a glass of water and I had just exited the desert; especially when it was mostly clear that he wasn't all that interested in anything I had to offer (most of the time). And you know why? Reading his couple of entries made me wish I had gotten to know him better as a friend. Because my active and often foolish seduction plan (which was mostly wishful thinking until I was drunk and then it was stream of concious babbling to him!!) I wish that we had been able to hang out on my deck and talk about things...for example, the fact that he decided to write a book?!? Amazing. His final entry made me cry, no more specificially bawl my eyes out. It was such a moving tribute and his descriptions of such an emotional event were so specific yet universal.

And that friends, is how I knew I screwed up by not getting to know this individual on a level beyond barroom banter/attempts as seduction. Oh hey, I know that he's human...I know he enjoys porn, the suicide girls (and who wouldn't really), and he's got vices (such as smoking)...but he's also working on becoming an actualized human being and that's almost hotter than his cute smile.

But now ladies and gentlemen,I'm done (not blogging! You can stop crying now). I'm not going to try to get him into my lair anymore. I want to use my last few months of him in town to work on building a quick friendship, if it's at all possible. Yeah, I didn't think I would ever utter those words either, but it feels like a switch went off.

Do me a favor, if you go looking for his blog (which is completely your choice, don't leave him a comment about this one), especially now. I went back and reread some old posts and I sound absolutely crazy...crazy, as in and 8th grade crush crazy...but for 28 year old, it's probably just plain crazy. So just do me that one favor.

Other than that, nothing too exciting is going on. I'm reading The Ghost Writer, it's pretty cool, it's written a bit like the old English gothic novels. The only problem is that the heat has caused my glue bound book to shed pages as I read them. I keep tucking them back in dutifully but I'm guessing that this book will not be making it over to my mom when I'm done with it.

Tuesday is Real World night with my girlfriends from work. It turns out that there are couple of us that are secret die hard fans of the show. I let it slip that I've watched, rewatched and practically memorized every single episode (doesn't sound like I'm the least bit obsessive in any aspects of my life, huh? he he). So now the plan is that we're going get together on Tuesday nights, munch on some snacks, drink a little booze (I just found out that Jackie and I both have a dangerous love for Gin, so that could be both dangerous and fun) and get some girl talk in before watching a bunch of kids hanging out in a utopia that is so mockably called The Real World. It's my guilty pleasure and I can't wait.