This is blog of a woman who didn't know what she wanted and so chased after dreams and men in search of the answers...drunken hilarity ensued. Then one day she met a man who was everything she wanted, but he wasn't so sure. Then she did the unthinkable; after they broke up she gave him this blog address and she let him into her mind as well as her heart. Unbelievably, even after sorting through the sordid archives of failed relationships, one night stands and her lusty (and embarassing) pursuit to secure the heart of a certain young line cook, John somehow managed to fall in love with her too. Melina and John were married a little over six months after they started dating, running away to Las Vegas to seal the deal. You can imagine what the over/under bet was to see if they'd even make it a year!! Over a year later and they are still going strong...this blog has become their story. Need to tell me something? Email me at Melinalovesjohnny at gmail dot com
Check out my other blogs:

igotyourtexts.blogspot.com

melina310.wordpress.org
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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.



Saturday, March 26, 2005
Can We Fuck Soon? A Love Letter To Drk
This is a letter that I would write Drk if I would actually write him letters (do coaster notes count?) I've been rehearsing it all night as I sit here climbing the walls because I'm too poor to go out and because I'm sexually deprived. So read on at your leisure.

Dearest Drk (yes I would leave out the vowels in my letter to him),
Hi! It's your favorite barfly Melina. If you received three identical text messages from me last night, I plead guilty. Yes, I thought I could control myself and I put your number into my brand new cell phone (it's really hot...it has a camera...you know what we could do with that my hot boy?). I put you under the title, "The Hottest boy Ever," it suits you. Really it does! So back to those text messages. Yeah. I left the bar last night around 2am I was waiting for you to come back over before closing so that I could suggest that you stop by and play with the dogs (because I'm not above pimping them out to keep you in close proximity of me)...but you were too busy...or maybe you've just had enough of Melina for one week (I don't know how that's possible) whatever the reason, I didn't get closure from the evening. But I did get drunk. And I did play the new pinball machine. Are you responsible for that? I did mention that I was sick of the T3 game...the Playboy bunny one is pretty cool. It's actually a collector's item, did you know that?

So Drk...I went home last night alone. I was tempted to call Matty, or even that asshole Todd because I am in heat. There's no classy way to put it. I've been trying to "behave" myself to show you that I'm actually serious about you but it's REALLY HARD, and I don't think you even notice. Did you see when I rubbed up against the pole in the bar? Kidding. But seriously, I'm starting to act like a cat in heat. We need to fix this. Yes, you and I.

You and I make progress and then it halts. As the great Paula Abdul once crooned, "I take two step forwards, you take two steps back" I'm not sure why, but it probably should end. In one way or another. Yes Drk, I'm going to date someone (once I find someone up to my standards) if you don't get on the ball. So you can tell your punk rock friends who look at me with disdain because I left my bullring at home and my nipple clamps were just too uncomfortable for the bar (kidding, I don't have nipple clamps), that our "romance" may be ending soon. It might be flattering for you...or annoying, I'm not sure which...but it kind of sucks here on my end.

I know that you don't think we could work because of our work schedules being the exact opposite, and my love of bloody rare meat, and my obsession with alcohol and being a sloppy drunk BUT I think we can. I can drink a little less (I only come to the bar to see you), I'll prepare my bloody cows when you're not around...and I will fuck you silly when you come home from work even though you'll have to wake me up to do it. I'm ok with that. Oh, and you'll be able to tell everyone who lives in our cornfield that you wake up next to me! Oh wait, so has half the cornfield...well you can tell them that I let you stay (I usually send all the other little boys home). Listen here Hottie--we can work. I can make one hell of a tofu stirfry which is a hell of a lot better than your daily diet of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. That's sick. Powdered cheese? And you don't think we can work? You silly, silly man.

So Hottie...it's time to act. I'm a woman of action (in every sense of the word) and I've been treading water for you for about four months...and you were worth the wait, and still are, but I don't see the point of it if you don't jump in the pool and tread with me.

Yours if you want me, Melina

PS. I want to trace your tattoos with my tongue.
PSS. I wrote this letter naked.
PSSS. I took pictures with the new camera phone.
PSSSS. The phone melted, I looked so hot.
posted by Melina at 9:09 PM