Drama and Melina the Whore of Attention
So the last two nights have been filled with drama which, unlike many women, I hate! I ran into my friend who recently had a baby which is great because we don't often see her. Let's see I also ran into so many douche bags that I was afraid that the grocery store had run out of vinegar (sorry for that analogy, all those who had to read it, I'm fired up). Sometimes being a bar patron makes you hate society!
Drk was working obviously and I'm hanging out with friends, one being Mikey. Mikey's girlfriend is the daughter of the owner of THITWbar...apparently Mikey's girlfriend also loves my Drk. Whatever. I'm not worried. She's just the hottest piece of ass in our little town...and she's cool (why does she have to be cool? and an awesome dresser? Can't she just have her stupid stick legs and get on with it? I'm bitter). Apparently though, after feeling low all day because the rumor yesterday was that Drk was caught kissing Mikey's girlfriend in the parking lot. Truth was Mikey caught his girlfriend kissing someone but it wasn't Drk (whew!).It turns out that Drk is not interested in pursuing anything with crazy drunken daughter of bar owner. I easily saw the parallel to myself and laughed hysterically. Drk has been stalked by two striking (if I can say that about myself) brunettes recently. Unfortunately, if I don't want to lie to myself, if Drk hadn't said that "she brings too much drama to my life," she definitely would've won over Drk in the appearance category. She's the shortest, cutest thing ever, I want to hate her...but I don't :)
Cr also dropped a mini bomb on me...she stated that she found Drk attractive; it's hillarious because we never find the same people attractive. She had taken a half a pain killer/truth serum pill and mixed it with some beer (which meant that we made it a REALLY early evening otherwise she would've been drooling on the bar). What happened to her? She slipped on an icy driveway just around 4am after skinny dipping in this guy's hot tub that she liked. She decided to go home before she broke all of her rules (people make rules for themselves?). She felt proud of herself for having the will power to leave (will power, what's that?) and whoosh--down she goes like the Titanic...but a little faster. She obviously has no reflexes because she didn't put her hands out to break the fall.She didn't want to go back to the house because she's gushing blood from mouth and nose and "it's too soon for him to see her like that" (not a direct quote but similiar to the odd thing that said. She now has a bruised fat lip and a road burned nose. She expertly covered both with makeup but...she felt like the elephant man. My friend is known for her pristine beauty has been reduced to...reduced to nothing at all because she wasn't reduced, she still looked fucking hot! However, I understand why she felt a little insecure about her looks. It's not every day that half your top lip extends 75% further than it ever did! Although Cr felt very badly that she had lustful thoughts about Drk but no worries...had she attempted this mission she would've landed the deal better than I...so I say thanks for loving him from afar, you're a great friend because he's too hot to share!
Saw Sweet Cheeks tonight too. I felt conflicted. Cr's mom (yes that's right, mom) was out with us and she and good ol' Sweet Cheeks flirt. I was jealous! Serious, I was grade A, 100% jealous of a 46 year old woman! I know that when I kissed (or may not have kissed...)Cr and retraced my actions that night and we're not sure if I actually did kiss him because I kept verbally debating kissing him (to his face--that's attractive in a woman, hesitancy)because I didn't want to damage my chances with Drk. What the fuck is that? What chances? I read that stupid book, "He's Just Not Into You" and you know what? Drk is just not into me, I should move on. But I choose not to. But at least I stalk from afar...and hook up with other guys while waiting for my prince to come around. I think Snow White should take a tip from me.
Should I move onto Sweet Cheeks? In a way I was tempted to say yes, but in another way I want Cr's mom to get a chance to work her magic since she has very little faith in her abilities...and I don't really know what my motivation is. Do I really like him, or do I just want someone to like me? And then I realize that a) I want to make someone like me. b) I want that someone to lavish attention on me and apparently I'm not to choosy about it and c) that I an attention seeking loser! Sometimes it's not fun to be me especially when I'm honest to myself about why I do things I do(Sigh). So no, I don't want to move onto Sweek Cheeks. Go get 'em, Cr's mom!
After that revelation I traded in my stiff drinks for Miller High Life (the champagne of beers) which actually tastes more like water than anything else but it was on special and I'm poor) and found that the lower alcohol percentage allowed me to hang for longer and become less of a nut. I figured all of us had enough drama for two nights, and I decided not to add any to the mix. For once, a good decision.
Drk was working obviously and I'm hanging out with friends, one being Mikey. Mikey's girlfriend is the daughter of the owner of THITWbar...apparently Mikey's girlfriend also loves my Drk. Whatever. I'm not worried. She's just the hottest piece of ass in our little town...and she's cool (why does she have to be cool? and an awesome dresser? Can't she just have her stupid stick legs and get on with it? I'm bitter). Apparently though, after feeling low all day because the rumor yesterday was that Drk was caught kissing Mikey's girlfriend in the parking lot. Truth was Mikey caught his girlfriend kissing someone but it wasn't Drk (whew!).It turns out that Drk is not interested in pursuing anything with crazy drunken daughter of bar owner. I easily saw the parallel to myself and laughed hysterically. Drk has been stalked by two striking (if I can say that about myself) brunettes recently. Unfortunately, if I don't want to lie to myself, if Drk hadn't said that "she brings too much drama to my life," she definitely would've won over Drk in the appearance category. She's the shortest, cutest thing ever, I want to hate her...but I don't :)
Cr also dropped a mini bomb on me...she stated that she found Drk attractive; it's hillarious because we never find the same people attractive. She had taken a half a pain killer/truth serum pill and mixed it with some beer (which meant that we made it a REALLY early evening otherwise she would've been drooling on the bar). What happened to her? She slipped on an icy driveway just around 4am after skinny dipping in this guy's hot tub that she liked. She decided to go home before she broke all of her rules (people make rules for themselves?). She felt proud of herself for having the will power to leave (will power, what's that?) and whoosh--down she goes like the Titanic...but a little faster. She obviously has no reflexes because she didn't put her hands out to break the fall.She didn't want to go back to the house because she's gushing blood from mouth and nose and "it's too soon for him to see her like that" (not a direct quote but similiar to the odd thing that said. She now has a bruised fat lip and a road burned nose. She expertly covered both with makeup but...she felt like the elephant man. My friend is known for her pristine beauty has been reduced to...reduced to nothing at all because she wasn't reduced, she still looked fucking hot! However, I understand why she felt a little insecure about her looks. It's not every day that half your top lip extends 75% further than it ever did! Although Cr felt very badly that she had lustful thoughts about Drk but no worries...had she attempted this mission she would've landed the deal better than I...so I say thanks for loving him from afar, you're a great friend because he's too hot to share!
Saw Sweet Cheeks tonight too. I felt conflicted. Cr's mom (yes that's right, mom) was out with us and she and good ol' Sweet Cheeks flirt. I was jealous! Serious, I was grade A, 100% jealous of a 46 year old woman! I know that when I kissed (or may not have kissed...)Cr and retraced my actions that night and we're not sure if I actually did kiss him because I kept verbally debating kissing him (to his face--that's attractive in a woman, hesitancy)because I didn't want to damage my chances with Drk. What the fuck is that? What chances? I read that stupid book, "He's Just Not Into You" and you know what? Drk is just not into me, I should move on. But I choose not to. But at least I stalk from afar...and hook up with other guys while waiting for my prince to come around. I think Snow White should take a tip from me.
Should I move onto Sweet Cheeks? In a way I was tempted to say yes, but in another way I want Cr's mom to get a chance to work her magic since she has very little faith in her abilities...and I don't really know what my motivation is. Do I really like him, or do I just want someone to like me? And then I realize that a) I want to make someone like me. b) I want that someone to lavish attention on me and apparently I'm not to choosy about it and c) that I an attention seeking loser! Sometimes it's not fun to be me especially when I'm honest to myself about why I do things I do(Sigh). So no, I don't want to move onto Sweek Cheeks. Go get 'em, Cr's mom!
After that revelation I traded in my stiff drinks for Miller High Life (the champagne of beers) which actually tastes more like water than anything else but it was on special and I'm poor) and found that the lower alcohol percentage allowed me to hang for longer and become less of a nut. I figured all of us had enough drama for two nights, and I decided not to add any to the mix. For once, a good decision.
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