Similar to the MooCow's post about his ability to make the cute girl appear when he's doing something stupid/funny looking...I have realized that I have harnessed the dubious power to draw out the men in the world who have either dumped me or with whom I've shared a brief moment with, in front of my mother. Tonight, it was at the grocery store,(mom and I like to bond over grocery shopping). I was looking less than fabulous, but to be fair I was squeaky clean. I sported my "hot librarian" glasses (which has nothing to do with the blogger of the same name, it's just what I've called them since I bought them), my Jake's Bar T-Shirt (purchased for only $3.00 at the bar after a disasterous chugging contest which left me with a very wet shirt) and some baggy sweats. My hair, still slightly wet from my shower stuck to my face in places, and there wasn't a smidgen of makeup on me. This is the real me, which isn't actually all that bad honestly, if I were with someone who loved me for me...but this about superficial relationships.

So looking as hot as I did and accompanied by my mother it was with sheer joy that I ran into Todd (ex from about three years ago, and the man with whom I felt the need to roll around with two weeks ago during a moment of stupidity). This is how it all unfolded. I'm walking past a hundred angry carts and a million people who were checking out. I was moving toward the exit and I feel someone staring at me. I turn and make eye contact, "Fuck," I mutter. My mother elbows me and says something about, "Being a pillar of my community." (Poor sweet ma, little does she know-this pillar has crumpled many a time, and a good portion of the community knows about it) Well I figure that he won't come up and talk to me while my mom is with me and I am mostly correct. He walks right up to me and steps into my bubble (you know, your comfort zone) and says, "Hi Melina," smiles and continues past me through the door. I smile tight-lipped,
"Hey Todd," as I carry my brand new Pez dispenser in my hand because I couldn't wait to open it at home (cripes, why do I still collect these things?)
My ma (the woman who could give Columbo a run for his money)tracks him with her eyes and says,"Isn't that that asshole Todd _______?" Apparently my mother doesn't have fond memories from three years ago and hasn't been briefed on recent events (nor will she ever be).
"Yep, that's him," I reply.
"Have you two been hanging out again?"
"No, not really...let's just get in the car and head home."
She gave me that look. The one that says,"I know exactly what you did, but we don't have to talk about it because I still love you even though you are too impulsive most of the time."
It wasn't that bad of an experience because I could care less about Todd in the grand scheme of things, but it would make my ego feel better if I looked like I just stepped out of a Pantene Pro V commerical and I was swinging my hair to and fro with a radiant glow about me.
Whatever.
It would've been a better experience if Drk ran into me, because I think he looks like the kind of guy who would share a Pez with me and delicately pick the wet hair off of my face. Heck, he'd probably help my mom load her groceries. But that's because he's a good egg. (Notice how I can include Drk into every post, even when he's not even remotely connected to it...that's dedication folks--strictly dedication).