1. I wouldn't have a scratchy throat.

2. I wouldn't be sitting here alone (why oh why does John have to go into the city and work on a Saturday morning) in my red pajama hoodie and long red pajama pants that make me look like a demented Christmas elf (every year my mom gets me jammies...the year that I get married she seems to have purchased me the least cute jams eva (however, they are pure pleasure and comfort). I think she wants me to take them off and have an excuse to have sex with my husband. As if I need one? I can't keep these pants on!)

3. The mummers wouldn't exist. And, they wouldn't have rescheduled their New Year's Day Parade. Sorry if you like them, I can't stand them. My friend Tash and I would mock them repeatedly starting at the age of 7, it's a tradition I just can't quit.

4. John wouldn't be at work on a Saturday morning and we'd be snuggling in bed or on the couch. Maybe he'd even be making me breakfast right now, cuz I'm hungry. And lazy. And wide awake.

5. John wouldn't have taken the copy of Lunar Park (John, don't click on the link, there are spoiler alerts!) to read on the train, that I bought him for Christmas. He keeps telling me the plot and I keep thinking how I could steal it from him for just a day. Hey! I'm a fast reader, I could put it back into his car without him even knowing.

6. He would've taken me with him and I'd be sitting in some coffee shop in the city, reading a book (probably Lunar Park) , taunting Mummer fans and I'd be munching on something tasty right now.