Today I was at work and in ran an 18 year old girl whom I've known now for three years. In those three years somehow I inspired her to follow in my footsteps (the positive aspects of my life...I don't share with her my drunkeness or my tendency to enjoy the company of emotionally unavailable men). In the past three years we've traded paperback and discussed them. She's been the first to ask me philosophical questions at times...it's hard to see her as a child and yet...she's so incredibly pure. While her peers are getting drunk on the weekends and banging each other silly (which I'm certainly guilty of too), she's doing charity work; making and selling hemp necklaces to sell for Hurricane victims, or hanging out with her frends doing silly things like forking yards. So when she burst into my room in tears at 7:15 this morning, I braced myself. I knew it wasn't the typical teen drama concerning boys. Her father had been killed in a motorcycle accident this weekend. She wanted to come to school today so that she could see me. Because she knew that all those people who said they "knew how she felt"--didn't. Her arms wrapped around my neck tightly and her tears poured hot pain onto my shirt and I cried with her. Because I did know how she felt. And so after work I went out today and thought about the things she might be comforted by. I stopped and picked up a nice fluffy teddy bear...perhaps this wouldn't necessarily help her, but I knew she had younger siblings...I bought a pretty blank card and two books I knew that she would like. I thought the books would let her excape when reality pressed down too hard on her. The hard part was to sit down and compose her a note. It went a little like this: Dear __________. I am so sorry that you had to go through this experience at such a young age. From what you told me about your father and the things he was able to overcome he was an incredible man and a loving father. When we spoke this morning you said that you wanted to come today because "I knew exactly how you felt" and to an extent I do, but you have to realize that no one is going to know how you feel. It's going to be frustrating, it's going to make you feel like you hate people and you'll be exhausted in your hate. Hopefully, that will pass. There is something that I Do know, this experience wil change you. You need to decide if you're going to let it eat away at you, or if you're going to do something with it. You won't be making that decision right now...but the time will come. My suggestion? Start journaling all the stories and things that you can remember about your dad right now, both good and bad...start practicing your stories on people and let him live on in your tales. How many times have you repeated a story I've told you about something ridiculous that happened with my dad and me? That's how I get him to live on outside of my own heart. If you need anything, I'm here for you.